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Archive for August 13th, 2008

I Just Want TWO Tablespoons of Milk, Is That Too Much To Ask?

Aug
13

Milking, Day Three.

Me: “Clover, I want more than one tablespoon of milk.”

Clover: “Where is my makeup artist and my personal stylist?”

Me: “YOU DON’T NEED A MAKEUP ARTIST AND A PERSONAL STYLIST! THAT IS NOT THE PROBLEM!!!!”

I believe, in fact, that I have identified the problem.

Make that TWO problems.

The babies are taking all my–

“Honey?”

“Honey???? What is that on your head, Honey? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH YOU?”

“THOSE ARE HORNS! Did we not just have you disbudded for the second time, Honey?”

“CLOVER!!!”

“Okay. I know. Kids today. They are out of control. Witness the fact that they keep taking all your milk.”

Plan B. Or are we on Plan T? I can’t remember.

We’ve tried figuring this every which way. We can’t get the babies separated from Clover. They are still so little they can slip through the wire when we try to put Clover in the night pen to get her away from them for a few hours. They don’t like to be separated from mama. They will contort themselves until they squeeze in there. We could put more, even smaller, wire on the night pen, but we are some fenced-out people and if you show us any more fencing material, our heads might explode. If we wait a few more weeks, the babies will eventually get too big to squeeze through. Yes, I’m lazy. I won’t go to Ohio for a milk bucket, either!! I also don’t want to even attempt to separate them at night. That sounds heartbreaking. They would all be so upset. I’m too sappy to be a farmer!! (I don’t know what we’re doing about Honey’s re-re-sprouting horns either, by the way.)

I’m only trying to milk Clover once a day, in the evenings, so as to leave the morning milk for the babies. They’re five weeks old, so they do still need her milk. But they don’t need ALL of it!!! I just want a little in the evening……. Then as the babies get older, I’ll start milking her twice a day. But the babies aren’t even leaving me that much, one milking!

So I tried giving an extra feed ration in mid-afternoon, straight to the babies. They ate. Then they climbed under Clover anyway……. So maybe right now, until they get older, I’m just milking Clover for practice, to get Clover used to being milked, to get used to milking myself. Or maybe I’m just milking her BECAUSE I’M INSANE. Because I love filling my fridge with little jam jars with a tablespoon of milk each.

But can’t I have more than one tablespoon? Is TWO tablespoons too much to ask?!

Day Three, Clover scampered onto the milkstand and stuck her face in her food.

She kicked me a little.

And tried to sit on the pail.

I perservered.

See my “chore” boots? Oh. Where ARE my chore boots?

Princess wasn’t wearing chore boots, either.

No wonder this goat doesn’t take us seriously.

Then Princess wanted to try.

All right! She wants to milk! I’m all about having a backup. This milking thing is hard.

ESPECIALLY WHEN ALL YOU GET IS A TABLESPOON.

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Triple Threat

Aug
13


I’m pretty sure this whole milking thing is a conspiracy.

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