44 CommentsShare: |
Subscribe
Girls?
First of all, you need to get tidy. You’re not pigs. You’re chickens.
Stop throwing the straw out of your nest, and start polishing your eggs a little bit. Let’s keep it clean. And would you start sitting on that nest already? I want babies.
Also, whoever is laying on the floor?
Cut it out.
And you. Mean rooster!
Stop looking at me and huffing at me and nipping at my legs.
And the rest of you hens? Those of you who AREN’T LAYING???? Let’s practice some visualization techniques.
Imagine you are in a beautiful garden filled with fruit and vegetables and cracked corn spilling from overturned buckets.
Now imagine you feel naked…..
…..and hot.
You feel very, very hot.
You feel burning, scalding, boiling hot.
Because that garden? It’s chicken heaven, where you’re gonna be when YOU ARE FRYING IN A SKILLET. NOW START LAYING EGGS ALREADY!!!
And that goes for you, too, Mean Rooster. I mean, not the laying eggs part. I’m not calling you a hen!!!
I’m just gonna leave now…..
While I’ve got stuff under control and everything…..
