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The other day, after I posted the Strawberry Cake recipe and sadly maligned the author of the recipe, Mrs. Brooks Randolph, as “ornery” and needing a spankin’, one of my readers sent me the phone number to Mrs. Randolph’s nephew.
304-555-3300
This phone number has been given the “Hollywood” treatment.
What would anyone IN THEIR RIGHT MIND DO WITH THIS PHONE NUMBER?
I picked up the phone and dialed it. (That is NOT, by the way, the correct answer to the above question.)
Mrs. Randolph’s nephew’s wife answered the phone.
Me: “I’m looking for Mrs. Brooks Randolph.”
Mrs. Randolph’s nephew’s wife: “Who?”
Me: “Mrs. Brooks Randolph.”
Mrs. Randolph’s nephew’s wife: “That was my husband’s aunt.”
Me: “YES! Is she alive?”
Mrs. Randolph’s nephew’s wife: “No, she died.”
Me: “I need to know what she would have thought was a small teaspoon.”
Mrs. Randolph’s nephew’s wife: “A small spoon?”
Me: “A small TEASPOON. What did she think was a SMALL TEASPOON?”
Mrs. Randolph’s nephew’s wife: “OH. I don’t know.”
Me: “Did you ever eat her strawberry cake?”
Mrs. Randolph’s nephew’s wife: “Streudel cake?”
Me: “STRAWBERRY cake.”
Mrs. Randolph’s nephew’s wife: “She never made strawberry cake.”
Me: “Yes, she did! She put it in a cookbook! And she measured in small teaspoons. What would she have thought was a small teaspoon?”
Mrs. Randolph’s nephew’s wife: “I have her daughter’s phone number. Do you want that?”
304-555-3782
This phone number has been given the “Hollywood” treatment.
What would anyone IN THEIR RIGHT MIND DO WITH THIS PHONE NUMBER?
I picked up the phone and dialed it. (That is NOT, by the way, the correct answer to the above question.)
Mrs. Randolph’s daughter answered the phone.
Mrs. Randolph’s daughter is 87.
Me: “Are you Mrs. Brooks Randolph’s daughter?”
Mrs. Brooks Randolph’s daughter: “Yes????”
Me: “I need to know what she would have thought was a small teaspoon?”
Mrs. Brooks Randolph’s daughter: “A small spoon?”
Me: “A small TEASPOON.”
Mrs. Brooks Randolph’s daughter: “A small teaspoon?”
Me: “YES. A small TEASPOON. What was a SMALL TEASPOON?”
Mrs. Brooks Randolph’s daughter: “I don’t know.”
Me: “What about when she made strawberry cake? When she made strawberry cake, what was a small teaspoon?”
Mrs. Brooks Randolph’s daughter: “She never made strawberry cake.”
Me: “SHE NEVER MADE STRAWBERRY CAKE?! I have book. I have a BOOK! She submitted a strawberry cake recipe.”
Mrs. Brooks Randolph’s daughter: “She made strawberry shortcake. She never made strawberry cake.”
Head reeling. Mrs. Brooks Randolph? Where are you, Mrs. Brooks Randolph? What secret life did you and your strawberry cake and your small teaspoons lead that was hidden from your family?
Me: “Okay. Can you just tell me something about your mother? What was she like?” I had to know the deep, dark, secrets of this strawberry cake woman.
I had to know….something. GIVE ME SOMETHING.
Mrs. Brooks Randolph’s daughter: “Oh, she was funny. She loved the farm and she worked hard at it. She canned and made lard and soap. She enjoyed a joke and she saw fun in things. In the summer when the farm would come in, we’d have all that cooking to do. She never fussed about it. She’d pack baskets to take to the hands on our other farms and she was just a good-natured person, very happy. She loved to cook. She made strawberry shortcake, but I don’t remember any strawberry cake. She was a good cook and always jolly.”
Mrs. Brooks Randolph was born in the 1890s. Mr. Randolph was a farmer. She was a “farm mother” as her daughter put it. He died first. She died when she was 92. She moved to town when she couldn’t take care of the farm by herself anymore and lived with her daughter. She died of a stroke. And her daughter does not have her strawberry shortcake recipe. I asked.
I said, “Can you just tell me one more thing?”
Mrs. Brooks Randolph’s daughter: “Yes?”
Me: “What was Mrs. Randolph’s NAME?”
Mrs. Brooks Randolph’s daughter: “Marie.”
She was a good cook and always jolly. RIP.
The End.
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