Archive for February 19th, 2012

Funky Question of the Day

Feb
19


Poky, checking out Chloe.

So when the donkey hoof trimmer was here on Friday, I said, as I always say when he comes to visit, “Why hasn’t Poky had a baby yet?” It’s as if I think because he trims donkey hooves, he has some magical inner knowledge. I always mention how long Jack and Poky have been together, and he usually says something soothing like, she’s probably gonna have a baby any time now! But this time he said something different.

And I’m not sure you’re old enough to hear it.

If you’re under 18, go away.

I’m not sure what age is appropriate for this question.

I’m not sure I’m old enough for this question.

Just remember that when you have a farm, you get involved with a lot of animal pieces and parts, okay?

The donkey hoof trimmer said, “She’s not gonna get pregnant unless you get another male. Jack’s weener is crooked.”

I said, “WHAT?!”

He said, “His weener’s crooked. He can’t get in there right. If you want him to get in there right, you’re gonna have to help him.”

I said, “I’M NOT HELPING HIM.” And, “Why didn’t you ever mention this before?”

He said his cousin the pig man mentioned it to him the last time he was out here and his cousin came with him.

Is this true? Am I going to be donkey-babyless forever because Jack’s weener is crooked and I’m unwilling to stand by and help with the act? Jack tries so hard. I tried to talk Morgan into it! Asked her if she wanted to help Jack. She said no!

Okay, who wants to come help Jack get ‘er done?

Perhaps this could be one of those “farmhand activities” when visitors come…. No? Probably not a good idea for kids’ camps either, huh?

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The Slanted Little House

"It was a cold wintry day when I brought my children to live in rural West Virginia. The farmhouse was one hundred years old, there was already snow on the ground, and the heat was sparse-—as was the insulation. The floors weren’t even, either. My then-twelve-year-old son walked in the door and said, “You’ve brought us to this slanted little house to die." Keep reading our story....






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