Maia’s Day Out


Maia had a big day!
Saturday, Maia made one of her paid appearances (she’s a working girl!) at a community bazaar near Charleston. She was the tutu-wearing carnival goat accepting pats and crackers from children and adults alike.
She lucked into quite a bit of popcorn.
Not to mention the cookies.
Staying put at her station wasn’t quite her thing.
That was no fun. She wanted to play!
How ’bout that Play-Doh?
She didn’t even know what this table had going on, but she wanted to be involved.
Poor Maia. She didn’t get to play at any of the booths!
But it wasn’t so bad. Right, Maia?
Well, unless you count the drive to and from the bazaar.

Here’s how Maia travels–in the trunk of my Impala. I put down a big tarp to cover the entire trunk area. Then I put down one of the back seats slightly and prop it with a LOT of buckets so that she can’t push the back seat down and clamber into the interior of the car. (I put towels down over the seat because the buckets are dirty.) This means that the opening is just enough for her to stick her head into the car, see me, talk to me, feel the cool air coming from the air conditioning–but not get out and flop into my lap while I’m driving.
She was so good all day, and on the drive, that I let her have a couple hours of playtime in the yard and on the back porch before I put her back in the field. However, she was so tired from playing with so many children, and had had so much to eat, she mostly napped on the porch.

She had a big day!

P.S. If you want Maia to attend an event, email me at CITRevents@yahoo.com. She travels!

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First Meet Date


Glory Bee found her boyfriend online. She’s not ashamed of this–over 50 percent of relationships today start online. She’s young, hip, and connected to modern culture.

She liked his profile.

Username: Night Off
Age: 4
Sign: Virgo
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Seeking: Short-term
Body Type: Beefy
Ethnicity: Black Angus
Drinking: 15-20 gallons per day
Relationship status: Polygamous
Children: Proud parent

I like a woman who is completely self-sufficient, sympathetic, a good listener, and a giver who expects nothing in return. Don’t expect me to do any of the work in the relationship, and don’t even plan on me sticking around. Here I am, ladies! Come get me!

Night Off is one of those guys who won’t even post his real picture online, but Glory Bee was attracted to his mysterious, arrogant air. Pretty soon, they were exchanging text messages and flirting during milking time. And sure enough, he asked her for a date!
She was hoping he’d show up in a big shiny Silverado (Glory Bee loves a man with a truck!), but he came in this liquid nitrogen container instead.
After getting to the bottom of things, inside this straw was a very small package of semen. The vet “felt up” Glory Bee then inserted a long tube and shot the semen into her cervix through the tube.
It was not at all what Glory Bee was expecting on their “first meet” date! There was no dinner, no dancing, no sweet talk, nothin!

But if it works, there will be a baby in May.

Just don’t expect Night Off to be around to help change diapers.

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The Slanted Little House

"It was a cold wintry day when I brought my children to live in rural West Virginia. The farmhouse was one hundred years old, there was already snow on the ground, and the heat was sparse-—as was the insulation. The floors weren’t even, either. My then-twelve-year-old son walked in the door and said, “You’ve brought us to this slanted little house to die." Keep reading our story....

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