Letter from Clover | Chickens in the Road

Mar
2

Photo courtesy Destiny Groves Farm Goat Resort.
img_27771x
Dear Cookie Person or whatever,

I hope you are well. I apologize for not writing sooner. Between my daily pedicures and dining on molasses petit fours, I have been quite busy. They are very good to me here and I have not yet decided upon a date for my return. In fact, I am not sure I shall return, and such event is dependent on your agreement to the new terms to which I have become accustomed.

1. I will need satellite TV and internet installed in my goat chalet. I have grown addicted to As the World Turns and American Idol, and I also like to check in on my favorite daily blogs. (Sorry, not yours.)

2. I would like Paula Deen as my new personal chef. I hear she makes great cookies.

3. Please hire designer Stephen Saint-Onge from Better Homes and Gardens to redecorate the goat chalet as is befitting my station.

4. I will require Friday night dates with Cowboy as I am deeply in love. A chauffeured limousine will be sufficient for my needs, though I will require it to be a stretch limousine. I like white ones, by the way. And be sure it has a cookie bar.

5. Any further appearances by me on your so-called website must be prefaced by the services of a personal stylist. Please, no more plastic tiaras. That is quite beneath me.

My dear Cookie Person, I am sure you understand my needs and will be happy to fulfill them. If you want me back.

Because I don’t miss you.

Not at all.

Love, Clover

P.S. Have you made any of those gingerbread cookies with the icing and raisins lately? AND IF SO, DID YOU LET NUTMEG AND HONEY EAT THEM ALL?!

More posts you might enjoy:

26 Responses
RSS feed for comments on this post | TrackBack this post

3-2
2:15
am

As you can see I am awake at 2:14 am and stopped by. Thanks for making have a little snicker before bed. Is Clover getting fed cookies while dating? He had better treat her nice. Well not so nice she really doesn’t want to come home.

Treasia/TruckersWife

Flag this comment
3-2
3:16
am

COME ON HOME…
ALL OF YOUR DEMANDS ARE IN THE MAKING.

mmHoney

Flag this comment
3-2
3:35
am

Awwwwww, Clover, you just think you are not missed!!! You are the queen, you know you are…… the babies can’t take your place, they’re just babies! There’s a baby lamb here that needs you, so the babies don’t take advantage of her, your reign is needed!

P.S. There’s buckets full of those special cookies you like waiting for you…….. just you!

CindyP

Flag this comment
3-2
4:31
am

HOw Cute :0 I enjoy visiting your blog . It is such a treat for me

lisa brawner

Flag this comment
3-2
4:54
am

How quickly they forget!

Bee

Flag this comment
3-2
5:36
am

That was great! Clover is getting to big for her goat pen! It sure was nice to hear from her.

I can’t believe her boyfriends name is Cowboy!!! What a stud!!

trish

Flag this comment
3-2
5:47
am

Oh, Miss Clover! How nice of you to take the time to write. I know your days are very busy, what with that whole procreation thing going on. I am also missing you, and look forward to hearing from you soon. Love to have you drop by here, but be advised that I will need an hour’s notice to provide cookies fresh from the oven for you. Tomorrow is baking day, and mincemeat cookies are on the list. A triple batch.

Kathryn

Flag this comment
3-2
6:54
am

HILARIOUS! I bet Clover does read your blog and that she’s hoppin’
mad the daily farm photo is of a sheep, NOT HER! You better fix that quick and make the gingerbread cookies she ordered…a double batch. You may want to deliver some to her today to smooth things over!

Gail

Flag this comment
3-2
7:12
am

haha, too cute!

Kate

Flag this comment
3-2
7:42
am

Hmmm, that sounds an awful lot like something my spoiled rotten goat would write me, except I would hear more about giving her candy canes and about keeping the chickens away from her food. She would also demand to be allowed in the warm house all the time and have that big Boxer swap places and sleep in her goat house in the barnyard. She also wants to be rocked to sleep every night. (YES! My Lily likes to be held upside down and rocked like a baby!) The demands of these goats nowadays! Back in the day, they didn’t used to be so diva-ish!

feathrencox

Flag this comment
3-2
8:13
am

Ah, is Clover off on a little romantic getaway?

Robin G.

Flag this comment
3-2
9:07
am

ROFL! Clover and Cowboy, sitting in a tree…

No, wait, that’s not right.

I bet you can entice her back with some cookies. I hear she’s easy that way.

Amy

Flag this comment
3-2
9:08
am

I think that Clover is even more of a Diva now than when she left if that is possible. LOL She will want to come home when she is with kid and needs her back rubbed and her ankles are swollen.LOL She knows where she has it good. This post was toooo cute.

Linda

Flag this comment
3-2
9:20
am

I love your website, but it makes me tired just reading it.. How on earth do you get so much done and write too. I find lots of information here as well as entertainment. I have always lived on a farm, but I dont think I ever worked as hard as that. Keep up the good work.

Jane Cline

Flag this comment
3-2
10:02
am

Oh Clover, you are a princess.

Carol

Flag this comment
3-2
11:16
am

Absense makes the heart grow fonder – I bet she misses you bunches (well at least your homemade cookies lol). Will she stay until she is preggers and is it obvious when she is? I’m guessing she no longer will want Cowboy’s advances but I’m not sure how that works with goats

catslady

Flag this comment
3-2
11:29
am

Hahahaha! Wait till Clover finds out she’s been replaced with several funny looking goats!
She’ll be worried more about being head goat than what her goat chalet looks like!
She might just change her demands!

Fencepost

Flag this comment
3-2
1:16
pm

Aww, sounds like Clover misses y’all.

Brandy

Flag this comment
3-2
1:41
pm

Oh Clover, I’ve missed you. If the living conditions are not up to your high standards you can come live with me in NJ. You would be the only goat here and I would treat you as such. Let me know.

jean

Flag this comment
3-2
1:58
pm

She looks like she is stretching from all that sex!!!

& all day and night
Is there room for a billy goat in the barn too? She will see the big ram coming after her and run in fear–get her a boyfriend, cookies don’t get the “G Spot”, even for a goat!!

monica

Flag this comment
3-2
2:16
pm

Clover it was good to see you again!You look good. Aren’t u missing your babies tho, and the cookie person? Come back soon!

Leah

Flag this comment
3-2
2:30
pm

Thank God! I was afraid she and Cowboy had eloped and left the goat resort! About time the little hussy wrote – NO! Suzanne! DON’T tell her I called her that – she’ll get even! I wonder if I can clean the pots and pans out of my oven in time to bake cookies before she attacks Atlanta. Do I even remember HOW to bake cookies? Oh, dear. I’m in such trouble. Please, Clover, I didn’t mean it!

Nancy in Atlanta

Flag this comment
3-2
2:54
pm

Cute!
I’m sure she is looking forward to coming home.

Estella

Flag this comment
3-2
3:20
pm

clover, you must forget all of your demands and come home immediately!! the farm is falling apart without you! there are sheep in your chalet and a lamb living on the porch. there’s even a rumor that the lamb will soon be wearing your jewels…you must come home, please!

tillie

Flag this comment
3-2
8:04
pm

I just brought home a 2 month old Nubian Doe. Since we haven’t decided on a name, we are calling her Jane Doe. She has been in my house, under my feet since we got her (6 hours ago). She has been bottle fed, so she is a real People Goat, and is more outgoing than our triplet herd of useless but cute pygmy goats. She has been on my couch and skidding across the coffee table, and on the back of the rocking chair with the cat. She chases my daughters with little deer bounds. We love her already. Tasted my first goats milk today, and we are all hooked. I can’t wait until we can start getting our own milk – I hope it isn’t the trial is has been to you.

Taryn

Flag this comment
3-2
10:06
pm

Oh how totally cool! I just went over and read your article and noticed someone offered some ideas for your “wool placement program” (that’s the new term for a place to sell your wares). lol

Love the Clover letter!

Courtney KS

Flag this comment

Registration is required to leave a comment on this site. You may register here. (You can use this same username on the forum as well.) Already registered? Login here.

Discussion is encouraged, and differing opinions are welcome. However, please don't say anything your grandmother would be ashamed to read. If you see an objectionable comment, you may flag it for moderation. If you write an objectionable comment, be aware that it may be flagged--and deleted. I'm glad you're here. Welcome to our community!