Meanwhile, Back at Motel 6 | Chickens in the Road

Jan
27

Nutmeg won’t cooperate.

While Clover has had a couple of hot dates with Eclipse, Nutmeg has shown no interest in Rhett. Maybe she’s not in heat. Maybe she’s not ready. Maybe she doesn’t know what to do.

Nutmeg: “Maybe I don’t like him.”

Rhett, on the other hand, adores Nutmeg. Or anyone, for that matter. To provide trysting opportunities, I confine the happy couple in either the goat pen or the goat house. Since Rhett is easier to move around, and since the goat pen is the bucks’ temporary headquarters, when it’s time to put Clover and Eclipse together, I take out Rhett and put him in the goat house. Of course, the idea is to put him in the goat house with Nutmeg.

Where he can lick her.

Cuz he can hardly wait to lick her.

Nutmeg: “I don’t like him.”

Sprite: “I like him.”

STOP THAT. You’re too young, Sprite. AND YOU’RE NOT A NIGERIAN DWARF GOAT.

When it’s time to put the bucks back together, Rhett is the lighter load to pick up and tuck back away with his goat pen buddy. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always work quite right, such as when I got Clover in the goat pen with Eclipse and had Rhett in my arms, on the way to the goat house. I didn’t latch the goat pen gate quick enough and out came Clover with Eclipse hot on her tail. Rhett went nuts and next thing you know I’ve got two bucks running around the goat yard. Getting hold of Eclipse isn’t so difficult–he’s wherever Clover is, and Clover likes to be wherever I am.

Rhett, to the contrary, isn’t all that particular. Catching Rhett is like running after a Mexican jumping bean. He’s chasing anyone. AND EVERYONE.

Maybe even Dookie.

Only Dookie would probably bite Rhett if he started up with that tongue action.

Eventually, I got everyone back where they belonged, sort of. I ended up with Eclipse and Clover in the goat house because that’s where Clover wanted to go and Eclipse would follow her to the moon and beyond. I dunked Rhett back in the goat pen and went after Nutmeg.

Nutmeg: “I don’t like him.”

She wouldn’t even come for a cookie. Ten cookies. Not for all the cookies in the world. Nutmeg loves cookies, but she knew good and well why I was trying to get her to follow that cookie to Rhett and she was having nothing to do with it.

I’d pick up Nutmeg, but I’d need a forklift for that. We don’t call her Rotunda for nothin’. I finally managed to push, pull, and drag her into the goat pen. Rhett went nuts, chased her in circles and on top of the dog house. I was afraid she was going to break a leg trying to get away from him so I let her back out.

Clover: “It’s not that bad, my child. Just close your eyes and think of England.”

YOU’RE NOT HELPING, CLOVER!

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60 Responses
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1-27
1:49
am

Suzanne, we put dog collars on our two pet goats when we need to wrangle them. It helps to have a handle on them

Mark

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1-27
2:03
am

“Just stick your heels in the air and think of handbags”

MissWiniW

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1-27
3:17
am

. . . beige. Let’s paint the ceiling beige.

Hrist

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1-27
5:10
am

“Think of England”??????????????????

Why blame us??????????

ChrisUK

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1-27
5:23
am

Good advice Clover!
Although I am feeling quite sympathetic towards Nutmeg…

Jenny

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1-27
6:30
am

toooo funny…Poor Nutmeg. Maybe she has a headache? Loving the goat stories/adventures!
Hugs Grany Trace

Tracey In Paradise,Pa.

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1-27
6:34
am

Poor Nutmeg!! If you just left them in the house for her to get used to Rhett? I haven’t a clue, I’m not a goat farmer!! But I love reading their stories!!!

CindyP

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1-27
6:49
am

Cute. Mabe Nutmeg is not ready yet. lol. Give her a few more days and she might warm up to the little guy.

I know Dookie is a little farm dog. But the poor little guy needs a little bath I think. Sorry I do not usally pick but he looks kind of sad and ragged in that picture. He looks like he just walked in from the mud fields from a hard day of work looking for his dinner. lol.

Diane

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1-27
7:06
am

Like sand through the hourglass… it’s a Stringtown Rising soap opera!

And here I thought Clover would be the one to consider the advances of a buck as beneath her dignity. Nutmeg! Get with the program! You gotta get busy with Rhett so that you can be “birthin’ them babies” in the spring… Maybe she needs a new dress Suzanne, don’t you have some green velvet curtains someplace around the farm?

BuckeyeGirl

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1-27
7:07
am

I think Nutmeg might be best suited for another destiny. Maybe a life of devotion and celibacy at a convent?

Julie Curtis

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1-27
7:21
am

This is so much more fun than any ‘reality’ show the TV folks could come up with!

Poor Nutmeg

Lucy

Helen

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1-27
7:29
am

I have a dog like Dookie and they need to be groomed regularly and bathed – at least ever 3 months – have their nails clipped and you can cut the hair around their eyes so he can see. I have a coat for my dog if he is groomed in the winter. The groomer charges more if they are matted and extra dirty where I go and if there is a lot of hair in the ears too bec it has been too long. These dogs are prone to skin allergies too so I use oatmeal shampoo.

jane

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1-27
7:37
am

Motel 6 and It’s not that bad, think of England had me rolling on the floor laughing. You are fabulous Suzanne.

What a great way to start the day!!

trish

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1-27
7:44
am

Nutmeg: Frankly, Rhett, I don’t give a damn.

Dixie

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1-27
8:08
am

I’m just a little bit ashamed of myself . . . came here this morning and my first reaction was “YAY!! MORE GOAT PORN!!”

Nita in SC

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1-27
8:10
am

Think of England? You had me in the floor rolling until I got to the line, Think of England. Now I’m perplexed. Please explain.

Susan

PS. Love the comments from other as much as the goat love story. *smile*

Susan at Charm of the Carolines

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1-27
8:17
am

Susan, “Just close your eyes and think of England” is supposedly advice that mothers in the Victorian age gave to their daughters when they married.

Suzanne McMinn

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1-27
8:41
am

Actually, it is attributed to Queen Victoria herself, as advice she gave her daughter.

Stacy

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1-27
8:58
am

You are so funny! They are all in goat heaven!

Lynda Dunham-Watkins

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1-27
9:09
am

Nita, I loved your “goat porn” comment! And I totally agree. Who knew reading about goats procreating (or trying to avoid procreating), or Rhett trying desperately to get something going on (with anyone)could be so much fun?

Maybe the little chicken on the porch is a reporter snooping around on the porch (and everywhere) trying to get a scoop on all the “naughty things” going on at Stringtown Rising. Maybe she’s going to pump Dookie for information (and we know that Dookie knows things, don’t we? Underneath that mop of hair, things are happening).

Myrna Mackenzie

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1-27
9:33
am

So enjoyed reading this and the fabulous pictures this morning!!

Liz V.

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1-27
9:40
am

If goats are like sheep (and I think they are), they cycle every 17-21 days (depends on breed and other factors) for one or two days. The ideal way to get this breeding done is to put together a semi-permanent breeding group, or two in your case. Most people leave the groups together for a couple of possible cycles (so, say a month or month and a half). You will wear yourself out otherwise! That way Nutmeg will settle in with her betrothed and will eventually become the demanding one. First time males are often a little over-zealous. The boys might fight when they get back together; so stick them in a small space first where they cannot get a good whack at one another. We just went through all this with our sheep for lambs due in April.

EightPondFarm

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1-27
9:45
am

You all are TOO funny. Loved the ” I think Ill paint the ceiling beige comment!” what a hoot!
So Suzannae, what are you going to do with all these goats?
Id love to have Miss Tilly a suitor…..but, Im very nervous about the birthing! You on the other hand are fearless! My hero!

Angela Pierce

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1-27
10:11
am

Here’s a city-raised person’s question: why build a goat herd? In Jamaica, they’re dinner. But… probably not that, I’m thinking. For drinking and selling the milk? Is there a financial purpose at all, or are they pets? Sorry for my ignorance.

Leslie

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1-27
10:13
am

Keep messing around and you will end up with twins or triplets….!

That happened here a few years ago….I about went nuts that morning…..instant goat farm….so cute…and it was so cold outside in the shed..we were having a freezing spring…yes, I brought them in the house, until they were good and towel dried and warm and standing and frolicking and..and….then my dh said, “Take those kiddies back to the shed, they have a momma!
Darn….I wanted to keep them there forever but you risk the momma rejecting them if you keep them long!

B. Ruth

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1-27
10:17
am

When she is in ‘standing’ heat she will let him…

Linda

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1-27
10:18
am

I have never laughed so much or enjoyed reading the shenanigans of love in the goat yard as I have the last few days! I am so embarrassed that I did not know about trying to match size when mating…or that I could actually control times, good grief. My Precious (a small pygmy) is about to bust and after an ultrasound at the vet’s office, I found out she has a huge baby and will have to have a C-section. So now I have to watch her closely and when she starts labor, I have to rush her to the vet’s office (day or night)! I love this goat with all my heart and can not bear the thought of losing her because of my stupidity. Also, I have a wether that acts like your boys with my pregnant ladies and have had to move him and his brother to another lot. I have witnessed the tongue action plus mine cocks his head sideways and runs in circles…absolutely hilarious!

Celia

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1-27
10:28
am

It may go better if you put a little Barry White on in the barn…

Laura

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1-27
10:31
am

When I was a young girl, my mother warned me to stay away from the farm boys because they “know things”. Now I know why they “know things”, ya can’t get away from it on the farm.

debbie

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1-27
10:34
am

PS….
Why had no one mentioned the head-peeing thing about goats?…….My “billy” thought he smelled delicious to the ladies if he peed on the top of his head and marked himself as the “KING of Goatdom”…It was almost as though he was sprucing himself up with some sort of hair treatment minus the comb and mirrow…LOL
There were the certain times of the year he was rank! Guess the ladies liked it though as they were soon in season!

B. Ruth

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1-27
10:42
am

Do the goats know their names?

Marylundshu

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1-27
10:49
am

Mary, I would swear they know their names when I call them!

Suzanne McMinn

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1-27
10:51
am

Re why I want to get Clover and Nutmeg pregnant–so they will be in milk. I don’t intend to keep the babies as I don’t want to maintain a big herd! I will sell the babies to good homes as either pets or future milkers or if boys, as future studs.

Suzanne McMinn

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1-27
11:06
am

I sat down at my computer this morning, opened my iTunes, hit shuffle, then clicked off of it to read this morning’s post. As I began reading it hit me that the song playing was “Let’s Get It On”. I laughed so hard I was crying…my poor husband walked in my office, shook his head and turned around muttering about living to 100 and will still never understand women. Thanks Suzanne for the great start to my day each morning! I sure needed that today with all the weather that’s coming to Oklahoma tomorrow!

Becky

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1-27
11:14
am

Can’t stop laughing!! DH wants goats… now I know why I DO NOT want any — too much drama.

Folks who think Dookie needs a bath — it is too cold right now, especially in a house heated with wood. Suzanne will take care of him when it is warm enough. A home hair cut will be fine, too, no need for the expensive groomer. If S can milk Clover, she can groom a dog!! I would really like to see that one of these days. (Spoken as one who learned to groom after one $50 visit to the groomer!)

chickensohmyagain

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1-27
11:16
am

OMG – my snickering sounds brought my cat to my side to see what I was up to. Goat porn first thing in my morning – nothing beats it!!! Myrna could be right – the Crooked Little Hen might be a gossip columnist in disguise and she reports all these sexual romps to the underground Farm Animal Enquirer. Or maybe Nutmeg is holding out for dinner and a movie.

Nancy in Iowa

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1-27
11:37
am

Nutmeg is not in heat so naturally she doesn’t want to be near the buck. Just having a buck on the property should bring her in heat. It is getting toward the end of the breeding season even though Nigerians are suppose to cycle all year round. Mine don’t. I would try the other buck. Nutmeg should be able to handle his babies as well. The small buck, I hate to say, doesn’t look very bucky. I once bought a polled buck that was very small and he turned out to be….well not a buck and not a doe but somewhere in between. He acted bucky but the does hated him. They know.
Just a thought.

goatgirl

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1-27
11:47
am

OMG the neighbors are going to come running to find out the source of the hysterical laughter, and I’m so going to get a bad rep if I’m discovered cackling over goat porn!

“Let’s get it on” hahahahahaha!

Deborah R

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1-27
11:59
am

Ah Suzanne, how I love your goat stories! I’m learning, too! Yesterday, my 11 week old buck started making funny sounds and letting his tongue hang out – I gasped! I know that look! I know THAT look – I saw it on Suzanne’s blog! I prompty scolded Bad Billy and told him to put his tongue back in his mouth as he was much too young (right?)… Dookie is sooooo cute! I love all your animals, Suzanne! When I am feeding my own ragged bunch, I tell them all about your cute and funny animals and tell mine they better shape up. So far, they aren’t listening. They only eat my cookies and poop!

Happy farming!

Kelly

MrsC

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1-27
12:11
pm

Nutmeg just hasn’t had time to get to know him yet.

Technobabe

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1-27
1:08
pm

Oh, gosh you had me laughing out loud today, TOO FUNNY! You crack me up, really sometimes I tell you I just get so tickled reading your stuff….think of England….bwahahaha!!!!
XOXO
Joni

Joni

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1-27
1:13
pm

Who knew there was so much angst involved in goat love!

Donna

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1-27
1:51
pm

This is seriously hillarious. “Think of England” indeed!

Maria D.

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1-27
3:36
pm

Between this post and the first one, I have laughed so much. Who knew goat mating could be so funny? Thanks so much for letting me be part of your farm.

jean

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1-27
3:39
pm

Oh my! Ain’t love grand!

Runningtrails

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1-27
3:55
pm

OMG I could read this stuff all day and the pics and the comments – ROFLMAO

catslady

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1-27
5:38
pm

This is so funny

Rose H

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1-27
5:45
pm

“Just close your eyes and think of England.”

LOL! One of my most favorite quotes! It doesn’t get used enough any more.

Miss Kitler

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1-27
6:14
pm

That has got to be the funniest post I’ve read in awhile!

Oklahoma Granny

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1-27
6:25
pm

Nutmeg: “I’ll think about that tomorrow”
Perhaps if you changed her name to Scarlett she might find Rhett more attractive

kerri

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1-27
6:27
pm

That is just so awesome!!! I ‘m with you! “Applaud…..clap clap”

Anne

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1-27
6:30
pm

Horses that are overweight sometimes don’t cycle normally and can be hard to get pregnant. Could that be the case with goats?
I’ve never had a fat nanny, but I had a 185 pound wether that was my goat tying practice goat. He got too big for me to throw him.

bonnieblue

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1-27
6:33
pm

Kelly, I’m sorry that your goats are eating your POOP….BOL

Juanita

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1-27
8:22
pm

This series of the mating of them is HILARIOUS!!!!

Goat porn…love it!!

The Retired One

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1-27
9:55
pm

Dookie cracks me up. I took my two mangy mutts to the groomer today. Bet it won’t last 24 hours and they’ll look like Dookie again. But somehow Willa, the pyr, always seems to stay clean. Weird.

I don’t blame Nutmeg. She obviously is holding out for the bigger, hunkier Eclipse. Hubba, hubba.

Christine

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1-27
10:08
pm

Nutmeg: “I’m not that kind of girl (goat)!!” I’m with the others; you can’t beat goat porn for hysterical laughter. You’re a genius, Suzanne!

SuzzyQ

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1-27
10:26
pm

We bred our Pygmies for the first time last year. I borrowed a buck from a farm next to ours that raises show goats. They have been doing it for years so I asked how I would know when they were ready and when the job was a success. The lady told me just to leave them together (or even in stalls next to one another). Within a few days the doe will go into heat from just being close to the buck. The first day I put them together one of the does was mean to the buck and tried to hurt him the other would just run from him. Each day I would take each doe into the stall with him to see if they were “receptive”. On the third day they practically molested each other and this was repeated many times over the next couple of days. One the 5th day I put the doe in that had tried to hurt him and she was just as crazy about him as the first one so I left them together for 2 days and then returned the buck to my neighbors. So within 5 days of neither wanting anything to do with him they were both bred. I was worried that I wouldn’t know when they were in heat or if they were bred but it was quite obvious!

Good luck getting babies!

KentuckyFarmGirl

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1-28
1:17
am

Hi, I just love your site and check it daily. The eye blasters ad is kind of annoying and I really hope they are paying you well. I’m glad to see new advertisers on your site. I want you to be successful so I can keep reading. The ad opens itself and pushes your site down. I’m fine with it if it pays you well though.
Thanks

Christin

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1-28
1:12
pm

That was the funniest and most entertaining post! Thanks for the laughs.

Jackie

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1-28
1:44
pm

Cute post! I love goat stories and you do it so well…

Toni

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