First Meet Date


Glory Bee found her boyfriend online. She’s not ashamed of this–over 50 percent of relationships today start online. She’s young, hip, and connected to modern culture.

She liked his profile.

Username: Night Off
Age: 4
Sign: Virgo
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Seeking: Short-term
Body Type: Beefy
Ethnicity: Black Angus
Drinking: 15-20 gallons per day
Relationship status: Polygamous
Children: Proud parent

I like a woman who is completely self-sufficient, sympathetic, a good listener, and a giver who expects nothing in return. Don’t expect me to do any of the work in the relationship, and don’t even plan on me sticking around. Here I am, ladies! Come get me!

Night Off is one of those guys who won’t even post his real picture online, but Glory Bee was attracted to his mysterious, arrogant air. Pretty soon, they were exchanging text messages and flirting during milking time. And sure enough, he asked her for a date!
She was hoping he’d show up in a big shiny Silverado (Glory Bee loves a man with a truck!), but he came in this liquid nitrogen container instead.
After getting to the bottom of things, inside this straw was a very small package of semen. The vet “felt up” Glory Bee then inserted a long tube and shot the semen into her cervix through the tube.
It was not at all what Glory Bee was expecting on their “first meet” date! There was no dinner, no dancing, no sweet talk, nothin!

But if it works, there will be a baby in May.

Just don’t expect Night Off to be around to help change diapers.

Comments 9 Comments
Share: |    Subscribe to my feed Subscribe
Posted by Suzanne McMinn | Permalink  

More posts you might enjoy:

Sign up for the Chickens in the Road Newsletter

The Coming of the Heat


Dumplin is back on the job.
This Friday will be three weeks since the last time Glory Bee was in heat. I had been planning to give her a shot to put her in heat, but she went into heat on her own, on a Friday, throwing everything off schedule on the artificial insemination (AI) because I couldn’t get hold of the vet in time or get bull semen ordered and delivered in time.
Because I was going out of town, and because a natural heat is more fertile than an induced heat, I decided to wait it out for her next cycle to come around.
So I’ve been heat testing with Dumplin since I got back. A cow, any cow, will react to a cow in heat (even if the cow doing the reacting is another female). I’m keeping Glory Bee and Dumplin separated, just putting them together for 30 minutes every morning and evening, to test Dumplin’s reaction when Glory Bee comes around. Last night, Dumplin tried to ride her. She tried again this morning, but Glory Bee isn’t “standing” for it. Standing heat is the fertile time. Glory Bee is still skipping away from her. But, she’s coming in to heat, and soon. I ordered the bull semen yesterday and it will arrive today. I’m keeping the vet updated, and most likely, she will be coming to inseminate Glory Bee tomorrow.

I’ve never had AI done on a cow, so I’m really fascinated with the process. If this works, I’ll have a black angus cross baby by the first of May!

Comments 3 Comments
Share: |    Subscribe to my feed Subscribe
Posted by Suzanne McMinn | Permalink  

More posts you might enjoy:

Sign up for the Chickens in the Road Newsletter

  1. IMG_2597

    July 14, 2014 - That Darn Dumplin

    Dumplin’s been doing her job–too well. I started watching for signs of heat, ahead of giving Glory Bee the shot of lutalyse that was scheduled to be given on Sunday morning, to throw her into heat by Monday evening or Tuesday morning. Then the vet would come back and she would be inseminated. There was a chance Glory Bee might go into heat naturally, before the shot, so I started watching … Continued…

  1. IMG_2566

    July 10, 2014 - Dumplin Finds a Job!

    Mobile veterinarian Dr. Clara Mason and her technician pulled up to Sassafras Farm yesterday afternoon to check out Glory Bee.

    They’re getting out the long gloves. They’re going in! I got Glory Bee in her milkstand with her headlock. Not that she cared. Once she’s digging in to her big feed, she really doesn’t give a hoot what’s going on back there…. Continued…

  1. IMG_2527

    July 9, 2014 - Expectations of Expecting

    Today, the vet comes to check Glory Bee, figure out where she is currently in her cycle so that the shot to throw her into heat can be scheduled. This will be followed up with the insemination, so this is the first step of artificial insemination. Glory Bee and I are so excited!

    Or at least one of us is.

    I’ll be back to report. I’ve … Continued…

  1. IMG_2506

    July 7, 2014 - A More Permanent Path

    Last year, I had this temporary chute of fencing set up to get Glory Bee across the access roads between fields for milking.

    It worked all right for Glory Bee, but anytime I was also moving other cows with her, especially calves, they’d just sprint under the wires and dance off. Calves think they are so funny. You should have seen Moon Pie chasing the chickens … Continued…

  1. IMG_2383

    June 16, 2014 - Angry Baby

    Moon Pie looks a little sullen here, doesn’t she?

    I’ve started milking Glory Bee twice a day.

    When milking Glory Bee once a day, I milk her in the mornings. After she finishes working, she gets some time off with the children. I put her in the field with Dumplin and Moon Pie. Moon Pie gets to eat … Continued…

  1. IMG_2324

    June 3, 2014 - A-Milkin’ We Will Go

    It’s workshop season, and Glory Bee and I are in full milking swing. This makes everybody happy except Moon Pie and Dumplin, who do not like to be separated from MOMMY. Sometimes there’s a lot of bellowing. And crying. And whining. And pitiful cow eyes. But everyone is surviving. I load up my little cart and take it to the … Continued…

Daily Farm


If you would like to help support the overhead costs of this website, you may donate. Thank you!

Sign up for the
Chickens in the Road Newsletter

The Slanted Little House

"It was a cold wintry day when I brought my children to live in rural West Virginia. The farmhouse was one hundred years old, there was already snow on the ground, and the heat was sparse-—as was the insulation. The floors weren’t even, either. My then-twelve-year-old son walked in the door and said, “You’ve brought us to this slanted little house to die." Keep reading our story....

Today on Chickens in the Road

Join the Community in the Forum

Search This Blog

Out My Window

40°F Mostly Cloudy

Walton, WV


November 2014
« Oct    

I Love Your Comments

I Have a Cow

And she's ornery. Read my barnyard stories!

Entire Contents © Copyright 2004-2014 Chickens in the Road, Inc.
Text and photographs may not be published, broadcast, redistributed or aggregated without express permission. Thank you.

Privacy Policy, Disclosure, Disclaimer, and Terms of Use