;

Missing

Mar
13


I was so excited when Jill from Spencer gave me this stove for my downstairs workshop kitchen at Stringtown Rising Farm. You can see the post where I visited Jill and brought home the stove here. Moving out of Stringtown Rising on the brink of winter was hectic. I moved as much as I could as quickly as I could. Meanwhile, all matter of calamities cropped up here at Sassafras Farm, keeping my attention on this farm over the winter. Plus, honestly, driving in the winter at Stringtown Rising is so difficult, I was relieved to not have to do it. Even a light winter like we’ve had doesn’t mean driving is easy at Stringtown Rising. In order to move anything, you have to get up and down the driveway, which I just won’t do when it’s muddy or snowy, period. I’ve been waiting for spring to finish moving out and cleaning up. The kids still have half their stuff there because the boys haven’t even been here to move their things. The stove was also still there. I had talked to my construction duo, Dave and Matt, about going over to Stringtown Rising with me to help me get the stove. They start work on the studio next week.

Now that spring is nearly here, I stopped over at Stringtown Rising to assess what needed done there to finish cleaning up and moving out. I walked into the downstairs kitchen and discovered the stove GONE. Jill’s beautiful donated stove. GONE.

Nobody had broken in. The person who took it had a key.

I started crying and shaking because I knew I was never going to see the stove again even though I knew exactly where it was–at his house in Charleston.

I left, driving across the river because I was on my way to Spencer to pick up Morgan from track practice. I was glad I didn’t have to drive out the other way, across the 2 1/2 miles of rough road through three creeks. Now that I don’t live there anymore and drive on that road every day, that road seems EVEN WORSE. I hit hard road as soon as I cross the river the other way. Only a couple miles down a low water bridge had collapsed and the road was closed. I had to go all the way back, cross the river, drive the 2 1/2 miles of rough road again, and back around the long way to Spencer, crying and shaking all the way because my stove was gone.

It took forever to get home. When I got home, I grabbed the phone and called him. I said, “Why did you take my stove?” He didn’t even lie. He said, “I needed it.” I said, “I NEED IT!” I asked him if he would bring it to me. He said no. I asked him if my cousin could come get it. He said no. I said, “Then how am I going to get my stove back?” He said, “I don’t think you’re getting your stove back.”

You all know that it is very rare (or never) that I post something this personal on my blog. But he stole my stove, and yeah, you bet I’m telling you that. So many of you have invested of yourselves in this studio. I want you to know that he stole my stove. And that is who he is, and it should go a long way toward explaining what I didn’t explain here and why I was so terribly, truly terribly, desperate to escape the farm I loved so much.

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Posted by Suzanne McMinn on March 13, 2012  

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  1. 3-13
    7:39
    pm

    :bugeyed: Just no words.

  2. 3-13
    7:42
    pm

    I can only imagine your sense of betrayal and rage. Does he remember your two big, strapping sons?!? The idiot!

  3. 3-13
    7:48
    pm

    I’m so sorry. If your dead set on getting it back you probably have a legal right to it.

  4. 3-13
    7:48
    pm

    All I can say is glad you got out…& remember, it is just a stove. Just walk away.

  5. 3-13
    7:51
    pm

    I would go get the rest of your things asap. The stove can be replaced. Not worth your time or losing the peace you have found at Sassafras Farm. I am sorry he did this but so glad you are gaining so much more than a stove, in the end.

  6. 3-13
    7:52
    pm

    skank.

    :hissyfit:

  7. 3-13
    7:53
    pm

    There’s a saying that goes something along the lines of ‘If you loan somebody $20 and you never see that person again, that $20 was worth it’.

    I hope your old farm sells quickly so you don’t have to have anything to do with him any more, then you can truly move on.

    P.S Want us to break out the voodoo dolls? ;)

  8. 3-13
    7:53
    pm

    Oh no! I am so sorry, Suzanne.
    I have been in your shoes and know how you feel. And I can honestly say there are no words of comfort I can give you to
    make the anger and frustration go away.

  9. 3-13
    7:57
    pm

    Oh, the bad karma he has earned with this. And as crappy as it is, you can get another stove and move past this. He, on the other hand, will always be a theif.

  10. 3-13
    7:57
    pm

    So sorry to hear! You are a strong woman and I know you will not let this bother you! Obviously it shows what kind of man he is and was! You have more positive things to focus on than the stove. One day you may even meet a real man that will honor you and measure up for you. Until then continue working your dreams because you are making it happen. You have already been through so much this year another set back is minor. You will overcome!

  11. 3-13
    7:59
    pm

    I too have been in your shoes, but in the end it is just a material thing. You should be able to get another stove fairly cheap… and if it means THAT much to him to steal it, then he will get his Karma Bank withdrawl in the end, right? *hugs* I am sorry about that. And I agree with Kathy… get the rest of your things from there ASAP.

  12. 3-13
    8:03
    pm

    All I can say is wow. You really need to change your locks. If he can go in once and take a STOVE without a second thought, what else can he take? Also he needs to be reported to the police. For someone to be so high and mighty to admit to you that he took it and claiming you’re not getting it back, there is a chance it can happen again. Maybe not to you but to someone else. Not to smart though to steal something and be the only other person to have a copy of a key… Anyway, I’m sorry it happened. Having that your space violated is not nice at all. At least you know who did it and that he was “kind” enough to admit it.

  13. 3-13
    8:03
    pm

    vent..and be done with it.What goes around comes around.

  14. 3-13
    8:05
    pm

    I know you are irritated and rightfully so, but sometimes you just have to, as my mama puts it, consider the source. If it were me I would just take a little of my extra money from kickstarter and buy another stove and in the meantime go get my sons things and put that chapter of your life completely in the file called “the past, not to be revisited.”
    We have all been there and understand. I’m sorry but some men are just jerks at times.

  15. 3-13
    8:06
    pm

    You know you are right. That’s all that matters. You can get another stove from Habitat For Humanity’s Restores. They have lots of good stuff and your purchase will help others. You will be able to sleep well at night. Just think how much better your situation is now. It was meant to be.

    Best wishes,

  16. 3-13
    8:09
    pm

    I have not very nice thoughts, so I won’t say them… people just ought to know better and sometimes behaviors just floor me. It’s good to be done with him, I think!

  17. 3-13
    8:10
    pm

    There’s a popular song out right now (“Mean” by Taylor Swift) about how people who are mean get theirs in the end. Just wait. We will all stand tall and strong beside you when it hits him. Seriously…do you think HE would have gotten people to support his Kickstarter project? Unlikely! Stay strong and keep working towards that dream of yours!

    Grrrr…..

  18. 3-13
    8:15
    pm

    Joann! I think about him EVERY TIME I hear that song! Because he was so mean to me.

  19. 3-13
    8:17
    pm

    If WV isn’t a common-law property state, and/or he didn’t live there with you, he has no right to the stove. You can either call the police, or sue him in small claims court (think Judge Judy-it usually costs a small filing fee and that’s it).

    You absolutely have rights in this situation. Don’t let anyone talk you into believing otherwise. If you truly want the stove back, there are ways and means of doing so legally. Or, if you just never, ever ever ever want to see that a$$hole again (like I do with my ex-husband), I personally pledge to get you a stove for Sassafras Farms.

    Or, if you’d rather, I can come out there and go take it back. I ain’t skeered!

  20. 3-13
    8:20
    pm

    Suzanne. Suzanne! SUZANNE! I’m a loooongtime reader who has never commented before. I registered just now in order to write this! You need to indulge yourself in your sadness for a little while longer, and then you need to buck up, dust yourself off, and sue his a– in Small Claims Court! It’s easy! And you’ll win! And you can make him pay your court costs, too!

    Listen, you didn’t back down when that magazine used your goat photo, did you? You fought for that. You didn’t back down when you realized you didn’t have the cash to build your new kitchen, did you? No, you fought for that, too!

    Now fight for this, and we will ALL be behind you!

  21. 3-13
    8:20
    pm

    You could leave it to karma, rise above it, or say good riddance. Or, you could get your stove back. I am the kind of person who would get my stove back. Or at least I think I am. You weren’t married so it isn’t community property. It was donated by Jill for your studio. I am assuming he was not going to be giving baking demonstrations. Ask Jill for a notarized letter stating that she donated the stove to you personally and no portion of it to him. Then notify the gas company that it will be necessary for them to meet you at his house to disconnect the gas so the stove can be moved. Make arrangements with local law enforcement to be there while you retrieve property that was stolen from you. Let him know that you are doing this in lieu of filing charges against him for theft. Then move heaven and earth to get the rest of your possessions out so that he can’t shop around for anything else he wants. As for “outing” him for the person he is, that is his doing. He could have called and asked if he could have the stove. You might have been generous and, in the spirit of closure, had said yes. By taking it he outed himself as a lowlife. You had plans for that stove as did many of your readers. Go get it. Heck if I lived closer I would go with you to get it! Save the extra Kickstarter money for the inevitable little things that are bound to pop up once the project is underway.

    Sorry, the rain must be bringing out the bad side of me. Ok my blood pressure is returning to normal.

  22. 3-13
    8:21
    pm

    Heather, I want it BACK! Jill donated that stove to the CITR workshop kitchen. NOT TO HIM. He didn’t steal, really, just from me. He stole from Jill. He stole a donation! That is like the lowest form of stealing.

  23. 3-13
    8:22
    pm

    Call the police, Suzanne. Jill will back you up, I’m sure.

  24. 3-13
    8:23
    pm

    I don’t think I could say it any better than some of your other readers.

    Big hugs and good vibes for better days coming your way from Jersey.

  25. 3-13
    8:24
    pm

    OH boy. He better watch out because here comes Karma! Hope it was worth it to him. A free stove was wonderful, but not worth the stress of chasing after it.

  26. 3-13
    8:26
    pm

    And get anything else you value out of there.

    I hope you don’t have money tied up in Stringtown Rising, or can extricate yourself quickly from it.

  27. 3-13
    8:29
    pm

    I don’t know Suzanne. I guess it all depends on how bad you want the stove back whether you pursue your options. It could be a long and time consuming move. You could probably find another good used stove and yes I know that’s not fair but sometimes it’s just better for you than the emotional stress it will take to get it back. I know my first thought would be to get even and get what is rightfully mine back — at least until I calmed down and then maybe I would consider the fact that I need that energy for something more important. Whatever you decide we are all behind you 100%.

  28. 3-13
    8:33
    pm

    First, I must say how very, very much I enjoy reading about your progress in all aspects of your life…you bring so much to so very many people. My next opinion will not be looked upon so kindly, but I must voice it. I have always had the opinion that once one has parted ways with someone (no matter what the awful circumstances) that later commenting rudely in any way on the other persons character only serves to brings oneself down. We have all been hurt in many, many ways, but it is not a strong character to continue to talk badly, even if one feels like the other person has been awful. A strong character will not make poor choices in the future, and will not badmouth others, especially someone that shared many years of a life. Well, that is my opinion, and it is not meant to be rude in any way at all, and thank you for publishing this.

  29. 3-13
    8:34
    pm

    Having been through something similar myself, I would personally try to keep things as less stressful as possible. Trust me, he’ll enjoy every minute of winding you up. The more upset you are about it, the better he’ll feel.

    Yes, you could legally get the stove back … but would it be worth all the angst & drama of going through court? That’s a choice only you can make – but no matter your decision, you’ll have 100s of supporters right here behind you.

    You’re a good person Suzanne, and great things are to come :sun:

  30. 3-13
    8:34
    pm

    So sorry Suzanne. But like others have mentioned, even though it was a big part of your plan, it was just a stove. He could have at least told you about it to begin with though. I don’t know him, and only know you thru this blog. I do know that you endured too much hardship at Springtown Rising and I always wondered why he wasn’t doing more to help you….seems things were never finished, just a bunch of unfinished projects. I’ll never forget one of your posts, about having to go under your porch to get hay over to the animals….through pooh and stuff that needed cleaned out. It made it so hard for you, I always wondered, “Where is 52″? . I’m glad you got out. You have to watch out for those opportunists, which he appears to be. I hope you get the rest of your stuff out and that you can sell it and be rid of this bad situation. :heart:

  31. 3-13
    8:36
    pm

    Suzanne, you have pics you posted on here when Jill donated…she donated it to CitR workshop kitchen…not to “he who shall not be named”. Your pic/post is proof!

    You started your Kickstart program when you left Stringtown…when you kicked him out of your life.If this is something that will make your blood boil everytime you even look at a stove … keep on kicking…and get your stove back!

  32. 3-13
    8:39
    pm

    I say take him to small claims court and get back your stove. We will all be standing right with you! (even if we are 500 miles away) oops, I guess my 50+ attitude is showing, no longer let people take advantage of me!

  33. 3-13
    8:46
    pm

    Rhymes with “dastard”.

    These things have a way of working themselves out…karma.

  34. 3-13
    8:49
    pm

    Jill is preparing a notarized statement for me.

  35. 3-13
    8:51
    pm

    I am so sorry. He will get what is coming like everyone else said. We are behi8nd you in what ever you decide to do!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. 3-13
    8:57
    pm

    I agree with nursemary. A stove is a big piece of property. He shouldn’t be allowed to take something that’s not his. He thinks he can intimidate you by taking your property and/or that you are too gutless to stand up to him. Prove him wrong!

  37. 3-13
    8:58
    pm

    Suzanne, I am so sorry about all this. You’ve had a tough year. An old minister friend once told me, in a similar situation, that sometimes you just have to pray for someone and step over them.

    Having tried the small claims court route once myself, I can tell you that court costs will be greater than the value of that stove. Also, I learned about the same time that I needed to put a dollar value on my own mental health, a stance which has served me well several times in letting things go rather than fighting even though I was right.

    If it makes you feel better, call and tell him you’ve decided not to pursue it legally right now, but are waiting instead to include “all the issues” in one lawsuit. That will at least keep him sweating, perhaps for years, waiting for your lawsuit!

    Definitely change the locks, if that’s legally within your power, otherwise get everything else out right away, even if you have to borrow the money to pay someone to do it.

    If you want to call me up and talk, pk to pk, I’ll tell you some of the names I have for him, and some of the things I kind of hope that stove does to him and his food. heh heh. Whatever you decide, I’m in your corner, and it is CROWDED with people!

  38. 3-13
    8:58
    pm

    :hissyfit: :hissyfit: not fair, not fair, NOT FAIR!!! :hissyfit: :hissyfit:

    My gut reaction is – go get your stove. Do whatever it takes!!!

    Then there’s the logical side that says, walk away. Its not worth the greif. And dont give anyone the satisfaction of affecting you this much.

    If you want a new stove I will gladly help Hlhohnholz get you another stove!!

    Having said that, we all are behind what ever you decide.

  39. 3-13
    9:09
    pm

    In your corner, no matter what you decide. :moo:

  40. 3-13
    9:17
    pm

    Perfect, Now You can get a shiny new stove to fit the THE SHINY NEW KITCHEN! Go Girl!

  41. 3-13
    9:19
    pm

    Good grief! what a complete JERK! And I do believe he broke the law since Jill gave it to YOU and it was YOURS and why on earth does he have a key! Call the police. I would. Why not? It’s NOT HIS TO TAKE. What a – oh, words fail me.

    We’re on your side, and you go get your stove back.

    ! Oh the NERVE of some people… =C

  42. 3-13
    9:19
    pm

    pattymonty,

    The guy is a thief. It’s not like there are young children to protect from knowing their biological father is scum. This guy is no relation to them.

  43. 3-13
    9:42
    pm

    patty, I have never said an unkind word about him. Read this post and you will see:
    http://chickensintheroad.com/living/landing-on-my-feet/

    However, this is theft, and for all the time I was weak and let him destroy me every day a little at a time the entire time I lived with him at Stringtown Rising, now is the time for me to be strong. I am filing charges, and because this stove was a donation from a reader, for the studio that so many readers have contributed to, I think it’s more than fair to post it here.

  44. 3-13
    9:42
    pm

    Rising above it is a good thing to do. Rise above, don’t be rude or demeaning, don’t feed into his little game, but also don’t allow him to victimize you. At All. You have a legal position here, use it. Go back to the house, get your things, say good bye, take your pictures if you need to, then lock it up and leave it for good. Then take the high road right to the police station and do what you need to do to get them to cooperate with you and get the stove back.
    Also, keep your shotgun handy, and it wouldn’t hurt for word to get around through the grape vine that you’ve been out practicing with it.

  45. 3-13
    9:49
    pm

    “It’s not fair,” doesn’t cover it. I’m with the others. . . whatever you decide, I’m behind you. Just make a list of everything on your plate at the moment: fencing to do, studio construction to begin (and construction is always a challenge), gardens to plant, teen to ferry to sports and such, injured dog to coddle when she comes home, puppy to care for, horse-shopping, free-lance writing, blog entries. . .oh! and farm to sell! That’s a lot even for a type A. I suggest a good healthy rant and rave, an affidavit, a police report, and a stiff drink. You still have to sell Stringfield…I assume that means there is still business between you two. Delegate your dirty work to karma, remember, she’s a REAL bi***.

  46. 3-13
    9:55
    pm

    Suzanne,
    Grrr!!!, how immature and selfish can you be!! Men sometimes… I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I’m glad you were able to tell us about it. I hate that he did this to you and to your dream of the studio. But if anything it does prove that you leaving was the right thing to do, this puts the nail in the coffin. I wish I could be there to help you deal with it and to help you move the rest of your and the kids stuff out of the old farm. Maybe tomorrow you can go to the local sherrifs and let them know what happened. You’ll be in my thoughts! :hug:

  47. 3-13
    10:00
    pm

    Also a long time reader who has never commented before….I feel compelled to implore – please get your stove back! We are with you 100%. It is just the right thing to do…for you and for your studio.

  48. 3-13
    10:31
    pm

    Oh Suzanne, I am so sorry to hear this! You want to get all the rest of your stuff out of there ASAP, lock the doors, and call the police! Is there anything else “missing”?
    Yes, it is “only a stove”, but do what you have to do for your own peace of mind. Know that we are behind you all the way no matter which way you go with it.
    Again, so sorry. Hang in there; it will all work out in the end. And rotten people will get their just desserts in due time.

  49. 3-13
    10:38
    pm

    You go after him. Do it for yourself and for all your readers. You are not a doormat.

  50. 3-13
    10:49
    pm

    There’s almost nothing worse than the violation you feel when someone takes something of yours. For it to be someone you know and used to love, that’s even worse. I’m a well-known pushover. I would cry and cry and never say a word about it and eventually move on. I admire you for going after justice and claiming what’s yours, as you have done in the past with your plagiarism experience. Thanks for being a positive role model for me! Having joined recently but having read pretty much everything you’ve written here, it impresses me greatly that you have gone to great lengths to never be unkind or petty. You’re unfailingly positive. Thus, when you do rant, it’s for a very very good reason. Hang in there. People can suck, but as evidenced by the community here, thankfully nasty people are in the minority!

  51. 3-13
    10:56
    pm

    I think I’ve read your site long enough to know that there is NO WAY you would take this sitting down! For most of us this would not be worth the stress, but I am looking forward to you setting this guy straight. (I still recall the “$5M Dave” chronicles very fondly;). I’m a little surprised HE hasn’t. Nothing like a little drama to keep the spirits high!! We’re all behind you Suzanne! Show all the naysayers how it’s done!!

  52. 3-13
    10:59
    pm

    Success is the best revenge! Good luck in what ever you decide to do. I know judge Judy would get it back to you and so will the cops there, if you want to take that route. Glad you found out what he was really like.

  53. 3-13
    11:23
    pm

    You know, I chuckled after reading this. Well, that is after I called him a choice name or two and got my righteous indignation to settle down. The reason I chuckled is because he pretty much proved how ignorant he really is. Stupid, stupid man…did he really think that the CITR Brigade would let this one slide? Personally, I think it would be hilarious if a whole gaggle of ladies showed up on his doorstep to remove the stolen stove from his evil clutches, then turned around and mooned his sorry hide. Road trip, anyone, lol??? I’d make the pilgrimage from Oklahoma just to get to make a detour in Kentucky and give my granddaughter a hug and a kiss. Of course, I’d probably make the trip just to get to humiliate a stupid man. Sheesh. What an idiot. I’m proud of you for getting out of that situation, Suzanne. :hug:

  54. 3-13
    11:25
    pm

    8) Some worthwhile suggestions and comments. You could tell from reading them that some have had similar experiences. What you do, how far you are willing to pursue this remains strictly with you. It comes down to your values. I would find a way to remain calm (as possible), but I would pursue it through small claims. I would also make sure the local authorities were aware of the situation, that you’ve left Stringtown, that it’s uninhabitated and up for sale, that there’s been a theft. Think of this as a preventative measure. I do not take lightly to being taken advantage of, and I will always take measures to correct it. I may not always be successful, but it is my job to take care of me. It’s just what my mom taught me by example. I don’t think doing nothing, letting it go and moving on to other things, is always the right avenue. It’s like bad manners, if no one ever draws attention or makes a polite effort to correct the offender, the bad manners will continue until when? Forever. I’m old enough to be person who believes in responsibility for ones actions, my own or someone else’s. Whatever you decide, which path you choose, I’ll still love CITR, appreciate how much you better my life, and though I’ve never met you, feel like you’re an accomplished and honorable woman. Just putting in my two cents.

  55. 3-14
    12:17
    am

    Yes it hurts, but remember when one door shuts another door opens. All the different suggestions sound good, but in the long run try to let it go. Inner peace is better than turmoil. One reaction provokes another reaction in return and it escalates. What he did will fester, it will always be in and on his mind. Which is good for him. He likes your reaction. Someone else has a stove out there. Explore the options.

  56. 3-14
    12:20
    am

    UNBELIEVABLE!!! Don’t be another crime statistic and let him get away with it. Call the sheriff ASAP and prosecute him. I just can’t believe it. I agree with everyone else that you need to move the rest of your things as quickly as possible.What an as****e. Pardon my French.

  57. 3-14
    12:25
    am

    Outrageous! How frustrated and betrayed you must feel!

    Please do get everything else that belongs to you or your family out of there as soon as you can! Then decide the best way to handle this.

    Whatever has happened that you haven’t told us, this is still the man that gave you BP for your birthday two years ago. He has (or at least had) some good qualities. It may be possible to retrieve the stove without resorting to the police or the courts.

    Best of luck for whatever you decide.

  58. 3-14
    12:31
    am

    Suzanne, I feel so bad for you right now, I have been there and words cannot describe the feelings. I am with Tow Lady, what an idiot he is!
    I know you needed the stove, but HE IS NOT WORTH IT! such a small man he is. :bugeyed: If you have anything else left in the house, please go and get it, another stove will come to you! just think every time he uses that darn stove he will think of what he did and he has to live with that not you. Please take care of yourself and do not give his actions another thought.

  59. 3-14
    12:53
    am

    Some! Men! Grrrrr!!

    I’ve seen two friends go through similar kinds of stuff in the past year. These guys make me want to go six kinds of “postal” to knock some sense into the heads of these overgrown boys.

    I hope you get that stove back, and all expenses for the fight covered by court order! Followed by a blog post (for all of our blood pressures), and then a nice glass of wine.

    I’m off to drink some Tabasco sauce to cool off my temper.

  60. 3-14
    1:36
    am

    We’re behind you whatever you choose to do, but I’d be really, really happy if you went after him and got your stove back.

  61. 3-14
    2:16
    am

    I have an off-colour joke that fits this situation. WARNING .. if you are easily offended, stop reading NOW and move along to the next post. Thank you.

    Next time you are talking with him you say .. “Gee, you must have taken your Viagra today, because you are a MUCH bigger DICK today than you were yesterday!” .. and then slam the phone down.

    sigh .. get the rest of your things out as quick as you can, even if you need to call on every cousin, friend, cousin’s friend, friend’s cousins, feed shop clerk, kids, kids’ friends, pastor, neighbour .. anyone you can think of, just “git ‘er done!” .. and while you are at it, maybe you can get back my set of four tires that vanished in my great break-up of 2004? ah well, at least I tracked down the boat from THAT one. lol

    Keep Smilin’ Sunshine, things will work out.
    Hugs, if you want one,
    Julie Andrea

  62. 3-14
    3:16
    am

    I really don’t give out advice often. This is something I grew up with for my first twenty years. Some people enjoy making others feel like less than nothing. They get off on the insidious sucking of self esteem from those they purport to care about. My advice would be to run not walk to the local locksmith first thing in the morning before said person gets a load of this blog. My second trip would be to file a report with the police. Then a filing with small claims. That will give you time to get all your ducks in a row before a court date. You are such a strong person with great joy for life whether you decide to get your stove back or shake it off.

  63. 3-14
    4:28
    am

    Suzanne, I totally empathize with you. My divorce was final this past Monday. When my husband moved out several weeks ago to live with his new woman he took everything he claimed was his to add to her stuff, including the potato peeler! Discovering that one little item missing set my blood boiling. When I read your post I realized how trivial a potato peeler is compared to a stove, but how significant the loss can be when it’s something you relied on having, and had no idea had been taken. How lucky we both are to be away from men that are so petty and cruel. We have a lot in common (I also have 3 kids, one of whom is in the Navy, and I am a writer) which is why I know you will win this one!

  64. 3-14
    6:25
    am

    1. Clearly glad you removed yourself from that situation.
    2. Glad you posted about Jill giving the studio the stove. That will go a long way in getting your stove back, along with her notarized statement.
    3. When you do get it back, I’d be inclined to have someone that knows about the workings of gas stoves to check it over with a fine toothed comb and a magnifying glass. Who knows what he would do to it that could cause a dangerous problem.
    4. Your corner is fully behind you as always. Sending good vibes to you and BAD NASTY ones to that f’n Coward.

  65. 3-14
    7:12
    am

    You got a lot of advise and there is nothing I can add to make things better. He showed his true colors to us and that he is an ass of a man and that he pulled such childish prank and that he was justified in what he did. He did not need it he knew what it meant to you to get that stove and your plans.

    So no matter what you decide I know you will take everything into account and what it will do to you and Morgan. You will know if its worth the effort or not.

    Do not let him get to you any more. This bit about taking the stove was his way of getting your attention. Trust me he knew what he was doing and what would happen when you found out. He is today or will be thinking about you and what you may be doing next with a smile on his face because it is costing you your emotions, time and money to get what is yours back. Men like this have no heart and are mean and nasty. Glad he is going to gone from your life. You deserve so much better.

  66. 3-14
    7:19
    am

    Hell hath no fury like a pack of ‘Chickens in the Road’ loyal followers scorned!!! Good advice from everyone…you get him Suzanne. We know you’ll show him once and for all that he’s to stay clear and not cross your path ever again!

  67. 3-14
    7:27
    am

    Suzanne,
    I know just how you feel. Get that stove back. What he did is not only wrong, but against law. Nursemary said what I was thinking. Go to your local law enforcement. Shame, Shame, Shame on him.

  68. 3-14
    7:45
    am

    My question now is “What else did he take?” I am so glad you are a strong woman and I know this whole ordeal will make you stronger, but you deserve to be treated better then he treated you. I know Jill gave you this stove out of the kindness of her heart and I am sure this hurts her also. My question is “Would that stove meet the qualifications for the new “Stainless Steel” workshop? I know here if you are cooking for the public rules would say no. Maybe you can get some satisfaction out of thinking you really could not use the stove, but give him “H#%L anyway!

  69. 3-14
    7:45
    am

    There were tons of replies and I unfortunately don’t have time to read them all, (so this may have been mentioned) but here’s my two cents:

    CHANGE THE LOCKS.

    People like this don’t change. And they don’t care. They take, and take, and take, and when they know it gets to you, they take some more.

    Unless he has some legal right to have a key (I don’t know what the monetary arrangement was as far as the mortgage on the farm), then you can change the locks. Have the studio construction guys take care of it for you! And make sure whatever it is you have left there is locked up tight behind the new locks. At least if he tries to come back for more, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing he wasted the fuel coming all the way from Charleston just to realize you’re smarter than he is!

  70. 3-14
    7:54
    am

    As so many have said, we will be behind you all the way. Just be careful that this isn’t sapping more of your energy than it’s worth. Abusers love to have control over others. If he knows he’s still upsetting you and causing you strife, he still has control. Don’t give him that power. I had pictures of an item from my family home and the ex took that item. I still didn’t get it back. He looked good in a suit and had initials behind his name. He stole my voice in many situations. I now choose to not give him any power. That gives me control and allows me to heal.

    Good luck in whatever choice you make.

  71. 3-14
    8:11
    am

    By all means, file a police report and get your stove back. And if it turns out that regulations prevent you from using it in your commercial kitchen, then you can sell it on Craigslist. It’s the principle of the thing – it wasn’t his to take, so he shouldn’t be allowed to keep it.

    Oh, this makes me SO MAD! He seems to have forgotten that when he messes with you, he messes with ALL OF US. If I wasn’t such a nice person, I’d say let’s get about 50 of us together and all go over to his house and collect your stove. And bring some animals along too, and encourage them to poop on his porch. :yes:

  72. 3-14
    8:16
    am

    The stove is fine for the health department-approved kitchen. I had already cleared it with the health inspector.

  73. 3-14
    8:29
    am

    give me a call or just check your email…

  74. 3-14
    9:08
    am

    Report it to the police! And change those locks, lady!! Once I read that comment about you standing up for yourself in the photo debacle, I HOPED you would get mad and stand up to him. So GO YOU!!

  75. 3-14
    9:27
    am

    Suzanne, you are SO RIGHT that it is more than fair for you to post this to your blog! There is a big difference between badmouthing someone just for the sake of it and what is going on here, and for anyone who says otherwise is flat out wrong. I’m so glad that you are standing up for yourself here!

  76. 3-14
    9:35
    am

    I am so sorry that you have had to once again experience stress from this individual. I agree that his actions were illegal and he needs to be brought to court over it. However, on the other hand, this is just stuff and legal action will probably cause him to chortle about how he is still manipulating you. Whatever you chose to do about this situation I’m right there with the rest of the “Roaders” standing shoulder to shoulder with you.

  77. 3-14
    9:44
    am

    Whatever you decide to do,please be careful! You never know how crazy someone is until you back them into a corner. If you think he would be violent or retaliate, don’t pursue this. I know it’s right to get the stove back…but sometimes what’s right isn’t always what’s wise.

  78. 3-14
    9:59
    am

    Please don’t put yourself through the aggravation of taking this jerk to small claims court, etc. You have far more important goals to deal with right now. Move on..get another stove. Perhaps friends and supporters in your area can check want ads, auction ads, etc. for used appliances. Even used restaurant equipment dealers? One of the commercial sized stoves might be better for your kitchen? I would not give this man the satisfaction of messing with my mind and energy for one more second! Shake it off and move on. :snoopy:

  79. 3-14
    10:09
    am

    I searched the archives of my brain to recall my log-in info!

    I wonder about the legal rights to the property as I was under the impression that you both owned an interest in Stringtown Rising? Which is another reason why he has a key and no locks will be changed as some advise.
    I’d let him know you’re pursuing small claims action and will seek court costs if you prevail. Maybe that will scare him into giving it back. But just FYI a notarized statement isn’t usually admissible in court. You’d need the actual donor there to testify that it was a gift to you personally and not to the both of you.

    You’re a strong woman and I have no doubt he’ll rue the day he took it this far! ;)

  80. 3-14
    10:12
    am

    go after him, honey. he spent too much time pushing you around… he’s expecting you to lie down and go belly-up on this. surprise the he!! outta him! go after that little sissy squat-to-pee, paper-butt momma’s boy! oh yeah… and change the locks… NOW! please. :) :happyflower:

  81. 3-14
    10:15
    am

    The cop side of me says turn him in, slap him with a restraining order, all the legal stuff you can. The other side of me says, but wait, Karma is a b***h and he is going to get his ten fold. I like what JRR Esq recommended. Small claims is a great way to go. My thing is I hate to see women taken advantage of, but you have already shown how strong you are. Maybe small claims is a great answer to this. However, from a more sinister point, I have been in L.E. for far too long and seen its effect…if you can slap him with a restraining order, do it. At least then the cops have some leverage. Please be careful too!

  82. 3-14
    10:20
    am

    Dirty rotten scoundrel. I hope he burns himself BAD on that stove. Good luck getting your stove back. I hope they arrest his butt.

  83. 3-14
    10:25
    am

    I remember how it went with that d-bagel publisher guy. This should be interesting!

    WHEN MAMA AIN’T HAPPY, AIN’T NOBODY HAPPY.

  84. 3-14
    10:38
    am

    Suzanne, no real advice here…you’ve been given all different kinds all ready. Just ‘to thine own self be true’…and to Morgan and the boys. I’m so glad you had the courage to leave (yes, I read the Snap post) and I know that you will choose the correct course of action. Hoping and praying that you can continue along the new path at Sassafras without having to drag any Stringtown boulders along with you.

  85. 3-14
    11:05
    am

    I agree with grammieEarth – I wouldn’t trust that he had not done something to the stove…and for me it would also at this point be a reminder of him & what he did every time I looked at it….I would not want that type of “energy” around anything with the new farm….to me it is also his way of keeping you “needing” him and manipulating you once again….let it go…

    What comes around goes around and karma (good and bad) comes back tenfold…. another stove will come to you. Dont ever let him upset your spirit again…. {{{{huggs}}}}

  86. 3-14
    11:23
    am

    Oh Suzanne, I’m so very sorry. What a “you know what”! Some people can be so MEAN :(

    Good luck in whatever you can do and please be careful. Life is too short to deal with those sort of people and I am so happy you are where you are now!

  87. 3-14
    12:56
    pm

    OK, I guess some of us are speechless…

    I’m just going to repeat what Anita said, “GO YOU!” >>> I also agree with copgrrl, get a restraining order so he has to let you know when he’s going out to SR, since I know you can’t just lock him out, you need to know when he’s going to be there so he can’t “accidentally” run into you there, or threaten you or steal from you.

    >>> No matter what you do about that stove, we all know that you’re our hero!

  88. 3-14
    1:00
    pm

    Just read on the Snap comments that he reads the blog and the comments. In that case, please don’t tell us what you decide to do. (I guess that’s obvious, isn’t it?) Talk it over in person or by email with people you trust (and maybe even a lawyer), and do it. Then you can tell us how it comes out.

    For him to read your public blog can hardly be called stalking, but there is something very unhealthy about it when there is the history behind it that you two have. Please do not go back to Stringtown Rising alone.

  89. 3-14
    1:00
    pm

    Suzanne, I’m so sorry you are going through this. I would be angry and upset, too – every sense of decency and justice is outraged. No one can decide but you whether it is worth going after this or letting it go. But I’ve made a donation to your site today to help get you started if, in the end, you decide just to let it go and replace the stove.

  90. 3-14
    1:46
    pm

    Well, since he reads the blog and comments….

    52, you are a bastard. A small, little, poor excuse of a man. To steal something that was a gift to someone else just reinforces that you are not much of a man at all. I’m glad that you were only briefly introduced on this blog, because you’re not worth the space and effort the words would have taken.

    I wish you the best of luck in the future, and by that I mean I think you are the scourge of the earth and you’ll get what’s coming to you. Karma. She is a bitch.

  91. 3-14
    2:39
    pm

    Suzanne,
    I don’t know your personal business regarding 52. I would just like to say that if you believe everything happens for a reason, then that includes the bad things. You never know, maybe the stove is about to kick the bucket. Maybe you have extra in the kickstarter account for this very purpose? A man that would steal your stove and who has been described here as a mean man could be capable of worse. Just be sure the stove is worth fighting for.

  92. 3-14
    2:53
    pm

    :
    That dirty rotten SOB–am I allowed to say SOB ??–please note the are no periods beside each letter, but pretend there is. I could write a book about people like him, beleive me. In my years, which are many, I have learned that those with ill gotten gains(sounds nice than stealing) always pay in the end–sort of like saying karma will bite you in the—-butt or where ever and I hope it bites him where it hurts the most. What a jerk–I hope he reads all of these comments! :devil:

  93. 3-14
    2:57
    pm

    PS–I KNOW he will read this column–I have seen him signed into CITR just recently. I have to add, he makes the grinch look good!

  94. 3-14
    3:03
    pm

    I know it is the principle of the matter, however, he knew exactly what kind of reaction would occur from his action.
    Let it go – let him keep the stove.
    It WILL work out for you to get another stove.
    Don’t give him the power of staying connected over this material possession.

  95. 3-14
    3:40
    pm

    I’m actually almost speechless…
    What a low-down filthy trick to have played on you Suzanne, the stove was gifted to you alone. You WILL get it back.
    :hug:
    Rose H

  96. 3-14
    3:47
    pm

    He’s probably the one who did pledge cancellations on the Kickstarter project. When you go to court or mediate a resolution to the theft I’d ask for the monetary replacement value of the stove plus reasonable compensation for damages. It won’t be the “stove” that Jill gave you but you also don’t know if he will damage that one before being made to return it. Hard cash or money order is the better way to go.

  97. 3-14
    4:19
    pm

    I meant to say, *NOT JUST* personal property.

  98. 3-14
    4:42
    pm

    I chime in with a “let it go”. you will see, believe me, that another, even better stove will come your way. resistance, hate, anger – not a good thing ever did come of it. forgiveness is difficult, but peace is a whole light lighter to carry around than anger and ill-will. peace. turn the other cheek. only good will come of that. :hug: :yes: :yes: :yes:

  99. 3-14
    5:11
    pm

    I don’t want to tell you what to do here. It’s complicated and very personal – although I do think he is getting what he deserves in having this put out in this very public forum!

    I just want to say that you have been so forebearing up to this point. You’ve never said word one about him or how things were, and THAT takes an incredible amount of inner strength. Once again I find myself saying you are one of the strongest people I know of and I admire you greatly. I know that you are/will be a role model for many many women and God Bless You for that Suzanne! :hug:

  100. 3-14
    6:53
    pm

    After reading blessedone22o,it brought back some memories of a true story that happened in my family about 35 years ago. The story goes like this: My first cousin and his girlfriend went together and bought A VERY NICE HOUSE IN THE SUBURBS of Detroit. They each paid half of the down-payment and halved the morgage each month. They lived there very happily until the girlfriend started to nag him to get married and have children, but he was having none of that. so she left him and found another man whom she married very quickly. Her new husband encouraged her to go talk to him(my cousin,) about buying her half of the house from her. She called and he invited her over to discuss it . She took her aunt with her. While there he asked her to cook dinner, which she did and they sat down and had dinner together. While putting away some silver, her aunt noticed a note in the drawer that said “May God and my Mother forgive me for what I’m about to do” When the ex girlfriend confronted him with the note,he grabbed her and warned the aunt to get out now, he said he had no intentions of harming her. The aunt ran out the door to call the police.When the police arrived, they found my cousin and his ex girlfriend lying in a pool of blood. He had shot and killed her and then himself. Just saying somethings are better left alone.lov ya Suzzanne

  101. 3-14
    7:29
    pm

    Here’s my deal. If you file charges against him but things don’t pan out, let me know. I will BUY you a better used stove from Craigslist or an estate sale or whatever mode you have out there. This will not be a setback. Go find a stove and email me. Screw him. 52 you can stick that stove right up your hinny!

  102. 3-14
    7:44
    pm

    Just another reminder to count your lucky stars that you made the best decision ever to not stick with him! I would definately call and talk to a officer and see how to proceed with a Petit Larceny charge. If he is vindictive, i would advise you to get all of your items out of that house before anything is filed. Even thou he has a interest in the real estate, you two were never married and it was YOUR personal property and you have documation and pictures (even print off your blog where you had posted things about the stove and your basement project) the more you have to show the officer the better! It’s so much worse, because that stove was so nicely given to you for a specific purpose and he knew that and he had to such a jerk about it! My dear you are so much better off without him!

  103. 3-14
    10:38
    pm

    I’m glad you’re proceeding to get it back! That’s definitely not ok. And I don’t think you’ve said or done ANYTHING inappropriate – don’t take it personally when a couple of readers have said so. There are WAY more people who support you than people who think you’ve done anything wrong. I hope it goes well and that you get your stove back!

  104. 3-15
    12:34
    am

    Suzanne,
    Clean house. Pull this thread and be done with it. You are a smart girl. Take it from an old lady, it’s a dead horse and kicking it will net you a used (probably dirty) gas stove at best.

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The Slanted Little House

"It was a cold wintry day when I brought my children to live in rural West Virginia. The farmhouse was one hundred years old, there was already snow on the ground, and the heat was sparse-—as was the insulation. The floors weren’t even, either. My then-twelve-year-old son walked in the door and said, “You’ve brought us to this slanted little house to die." Keep reading our story....



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