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I was so excited when Jill from Spencer gave me this stove for my downstairs workshop kitchen at Stringtown Rising Farm. You can see the post where I visited Jill and brought home the stove here. Moving out of Stringtown Rising on the brink of winter was hectic. I moved as much as I could as quickly as I could. Meanwhile, all matter of calamities cropped up here at Sassafras Farm, keeping my attention on this farm over the winter. Plus, honestly, driving in the winter at Stringtown Rising is so difficult, I was relieved to not have to do it. Even a light winter like we’ve had doesn’t mean driving is easy at Stringtown Rising. In order to move anything, you have to get up and down the driveway, which I just won’t do when it’s muddy or snowy, period. I’ve been waiting for spring to finish moving out and cleaning up. The kids still have half their stuff there because the boys haven’t even been here to move their things. The stove was also still there. I had talked to my construction duo, Dave and Matt, about going over to Stringtown Rising with me to help me get the stove. They start work on the studio next week.
Now that spring is nearly here, I stopped over at Stringtown Rising to assess what needed done there to finish cleaning up and moving out. I walked into the downstairs kitchen and discovered the stove GONE. Jill’s beautiful donated stove. GONE.
Nobody had broken in. The person who took it had a key.
I started crying and shaking because I knew I was never going to see the stove again even though I knew exactly where it was–at his house in Charleston.
I left, driving across the river because I was on my way to Spencer to pick up Morgan from track practice. I was glad I didn’t have to drive out the other way, across the 2 1/2 miles of rough road through three creeks. Now that I don’t live there anymore and drive on that road every day, that road seems EVEN WORSE. I hit hard road as soon as I cross the river the other way. Only a couple miles down a low water bridge had collapsed and the road was closed. I had to go all the way back, cross the river, drive the 2 1/2 miles of rough road again, and back around the long way to Spencer, crying and shaking all the way because my stove was gone.
It took forever to get home. When I got home, I grabbed the phone and called him. I said, “Why did you take my stove?” He didn’t even lie. He said, “I needed it.” I said, “I NEED IT!” I asked him if he would bring it to me. He said no. I asked him if my cousin could come get it. He said no. I said, “Then how am I going to get my stove back?” He said, “I don’t think you’re getting your stove back.”
You all know that it is very rare (or never) that I post something this personal on my blog. But he stole my stove, and yeah, you bet I’m telling you that. So many of you have invested of yourselves in this studio. I want you to know that he stole my stove. And that is who he is, and it should go a long way toward explaining what I didn’t explain here and why I was so terribly, truly terribly, desperate to escape the farm I loved so much.
Posted by Suzanne McMinn on March 13, 2012
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I hope your old farm sells quickly so you don’t have to have anything to do with him any more, then you can truly move on.
P.S Want us to break out the voodoo dolls?
7:53
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I have been in your shoes and know how you feel. And I can honestly say there are no words of comfort I can give you to
make the anger and frustration go away.
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We have all been there and understand. I’m sorry but some men are just jerks at times.
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Best wishes,
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Grrrr…..
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You absolutely have rights in this situation. Don’t let anyone talk you into believing otherwise. If you truly want the stove back, there are ways and means of doing so legally. Or, if you just never, ever ever ever want to see that a$$hole again (like I do with my ex-husband), I personally pledge to get you a stove for Sassafras Farms.
Or, if you’d rather, I can come out there and go take it back. I ain’t skeered!
8:20
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Listen, you didn’t back down when that magazine used your goat photo, did you? You fought for that. You didn’t back down when you realized you didn’t have the cash to build your new kitchen, did you? No, you fought for that, too!
Now fight for this, and we will ALL be behind you!
8:20
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Sorry, the rain must be bringing out the bad side of me. Ok my blood pressure is returning to normal.
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Big hugs and good vibes for better days coming your way from Jersey.
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I hope you don’t have money tied up in Stringtown Rising, or can extricate yourself quickly from it.
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Yes, you could legally get the stove back … but would it be worth all the angst & drama of going through court? That’s a choice only you can make – but no matter your decision, you’ll have 100s of supporters right here behind you.
You’re a good person Suzanne, and great things are to come
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You started your Kickstart program when you left Stringtown…when you kicked him out of your life.If this is something that will make your blood boil everytime you even look at a stove … keep on kicking…and get your stove back!
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These things have a way of working themselves out…karma.
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Having tried the small claims court route once myself, I can tell you that court costs will be greater than the value of that stove. Also, I learned about the same time that I needed to put a dollar value on my own mental health, a stance which has served me well several times in letting things go rather than fighting even though I was right.
If it makes you feel better, call and tell him you’ve decided not to pursue it legally right now, but are waiting instead to include “all the issues” in one lawsuit. That will at least keep him sweating, perhaps for years, waiting for your lawsuit!
Definitely change the locks, if that’s legally within your power, otherwise get everything else out right away, even if you have to borrow the money to pay someone to do it.
If you want to call me up and talk, pk to pk, I’ll tell you some of the names I have for him, and some of the things I kind of hope that stove does to him and his food. heh heh. Whatever you decide, I’m in your corner, and it is CROWDED with people!
8:58
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My gut reaction is – go get your stove. Do whatever it takes!!!
Then there’s the logical side that says, walk away. Its not worth the greif. And dont give anyone the satisfaction of affecting you this much.
If you want a new stove I will gladly help Hlhohnholz get you another stove!!
Having said that, we all are behind what ever you decide.
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We’re on your side, and you go get your stove back.
! Oh the NERVE of some people… =C
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The guy is a thief. It’s not like there are young children to protect from knowing their biological father is scum. This guy is no relation to them.
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http://chickensintheroad.com/living/landing-on-my-feet/
However, this is theft, and for all the time I was weak and let him destroy me every day a little at a time the entire time I lived with him at Stringtown Rising, now is the time for me to be strong. I am filing charges, and because this stove was a donation from a reader, for the studio that so many readers have contributed to, I think it’s more than fair to post it here.
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Also, keep your shotgun handy, and it wouldn’t hurt for word to get around through the grape vine that you’ve been out practicing with it.
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Grrr!!!, how immature and selfish can you be!! Men sometimes… I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I’m glad you were able to tell us about it. I hate that he did this to you and to your dream of the studio. But if anything it does prove that you leaving was the right thing to do, this puts the nail in the coffin. I wish I could be there to help you deal with it and to help you move the rest of your and the kids stuff out of the old farm. Maybe tomorrow you can go to the local sherrifs and let them know what happened. You’ll be in my thoughts!
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Yes, it is “only a stove”, but do what you have to do for your own peace of mind. Know that we are behind you all the way no matter which way you go with it.
Again, so sorry. Hang in there; it will all work out in the end. And rotten people will get their just desserts in due time.
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Please do get everything else that belongs to you or your family out of there as soon as you can! Then decide the best way to handle this.
Whatever has happened that you haven’t told us, this is still the man that gave you BP for your birthday two years ago. He has (or at least had) some good qualities. It may be possible to retrieve the stove without resorting to the police or the courts.
Best of luck for whatever you decide.
12:31
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I know you needed the stove, but HE IS NOT WORTH IT! such a small man he is.
12:53
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I’ve seen two friends go through similar kinds of stuff in the past year. These guys make me want to go six kinds of “postal” to knock some sense into the heads of these overgrown boys.
I hope you get that stove back, and all expenses for the fight covered by court order! Followed by a blog post (for all of our blood pressures), and then a nice glass of wine.
I’m off to drink some Tabasco sauce to cool off my temper.
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Next time you are talking with him you say .. “Gee, you must have taken your Viagra today, because you are a MUCH bigger DICK today than you were yesterday!” .. and then slam the phone down.
sigh .. get the rest of your things out as quick as you can, even if you need to call on every cousin, friend, cousin’s friend, friend’s cousins, feed shop clerk, kids, kids’ friends, pastor, neighbour .. anyone you can think of, just “git ‘er done!” .. and while you are at it, maybe you can get back my set of four tires that vanished in my great break-up of 2004? ah well, at least I tracked down the boat from THAT one. lol
Keep Smilin’ Sunshine, things will work out.
Hugs, if you want one,
Julie Andrea
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2. Glad you posted about Jill giving the studio the stove. That will go a long way in getting your stove back, along with her notarized statement.
3. When you do get it back, I’d be inclined to have someone that knows about the workings of gas stoves to check it over with a fine toothed comb and a magnifying glass. Who knows what he would do to it that could cause a dangerous problem.
4. Your corner is fully behind you as always. Sending good vibes to you and BAD NASTY ones to that f’n Coward.
7:12
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So no matter what you decide I know you will take everything into account and what it will do to you and Morgan. You will know if its worth the effort or not.
Do not let him get to you any more. This bit about taking the stove was his way of getting your attention. Trust me he knew what he was doing and what would happen when you found out. He is today or will be thinking about you and what you may be doing next with a smile on his face because it is costing you your emotions, time and money to get what is yours back. Men like this have no heart and are mean and nasty. Glad he is going to gone from your life. You deserve so much better.
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I know just how you feel. Get that stove back. What he did is not only wrong, but against law. Nursemary said what I was thinking. Go to your local law enforcement. Shame, Shame, Shame on him.
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CHANGE THE LOCKS.
People like this don’t change. And they don’t care. They take, and take, and take, and when they know it gets to you, they take some more.
Unless he has some legal right to have a key (I don’t know what the monetary arrangement was as far as the mortgage on the farm), then you can change the locks. Have the studio construction guys take care of it for you! And make sure whatever it is you have left there is locked up tight behind the new locks. At least if he tries to come back for more, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing he wasted the fuel coming all the way from Charleston just to realize you’re smarter than he is!
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Good luck in whatever choice you make.
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Oh, this makes me SO MAD! He seems to have forgotten that when he messes with you, he messes with ALL OF US. If I wasn’t such a nice person, I’d say let’s get about 50 of us together and all go over to his house and collect your stove. And bring some animals along too, and encourage them to poop on his porch.
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I wonder about the legal rights to the property as I was under the impression that you both owned an interest in Stringtown Rising? Which is another reason why he has a key and no locks will be changed as some advise.
I’d let him know you’re pursuing small claims action and will seek court costs if you prevail. Maybe that will scare him into giving it back. But just FYI a notarized statement isn’t usually admissible in court. You’d need the actual donor there to testify that it was a gift to you personally and not to the both of you.
You’re a strong woman and I have no doubt he’ll rue the day he took it this far!
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WHEN MAMA AIN’T HAPPY, AIN’T NOBODY HAPPY.
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What comes around goes around and karma (good and bad) comes back tenfold…. another stove will come to you. Dont ever let him upset your spirit again…. {{{{huggs}}}}
11:23
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Good luck in whatever you can do and please be careful. Life is too short to deal with those sort of people and I am so happy you are where you are now!
12:56
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I’m just going to repeat what Anita said, “GO YOU!” >>> I also agree with copgrrl, get a restraining order so he has to let you know when he’s going out to SR, since I know you can’t just lock him out, you need to know when he’s going to be there so he can’t “accidentally” run into you there, or threaten you or steal from you.
>>> No matter what you do about that stove, we all know that you’re our hero!
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For him to read your public blog can hardly be called stalking, but there is something very unhealthy about it when there is the history behind it that you two have. Please do not go back to Stringtown Rising alone.
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52, you are a bastard. A small, little, poor excuse of a man. To steal something that was a gift to someone else just reinforces that you are not much of a man at all. I’m glad that you were only briefly introduced on this blog, because you’re not worth the space and effort the words would have taken.
I wish you the best of luck in the future, and by that I mean I think you are the scourge of the earth and you’ll get what’s coming to you. Karma. She is a bitch.
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I don’t know your personal business regarding 52. I would just like to say that if you believe everything happens for a reason, then that includes the bad things. You never know, maybe the stove is about to kick the bucket. Maybe you have extra in the kickstarter account for this very purpose? A man that would steal your stove and who has been described here as a mean man could be capable of worse. Just be sure the stove is worth fighting for.
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That dirty rotten SOB–am I allowed to say SOB ??–please note the are no periods beside each letter, but pretend there is. I could write a book about people like him, beleive me. In my years, which are many, I have learned that those with ill gotten gains(sounds nice than stealing) always pay in the end–sort of like saying karma will bite you in the—-butt or where ever and I hope it bites him where it hurts the most. What a jerk–I hope he reads all of these comments!
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Let it go – let him keep the stove.
It WILL work out for you to get another stove.
Don’t give him the power of staying connected over this material possession.
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What a low-down filthy trick to have played on you Suzanne, the stove was gifted to you alone. You WILL get it back.
Rose H
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I just want to say that you have been so forebearing up to this point. You’ve never said word one about him or how things were, and THAT takes an incredible amount of inner strength. Once again I find myself saying you are one of the strongest people I know of and I admire you greatly. I know that you are/will be a role model for many many women and God Bless You for that Suzanne!
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Clean house. Pull this thread and be done with it. You are a smart girl. Take it from an old lady, it’s a dead horse and kicking it will net you a used (probably dirty) gas stove at best.