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The Right Thing

Mar
15


Yesterday afternoon, my cousin and I took my stove back. We took the stove back with permission from him, after he read my post yesterday, and after I presented him with a statement by Jill from Spencer. We notified the Charleston police and did everything the proper way.

Never walk away. Never let it go. That is what bullies want you to do. Stand up. Do it right, in broad daylight, and do not be afraid.

However! I did have this whole brief imaginary foray into–I could sign up for the Judge Judy show! I love Judge Judy! I love Judge Judy because she does what’s right and she’s no-nonsense. She puts the bad guys in their place, and no one, yes no one, gets over on her. I’ll never be like Judge Judy, but I like to watch her and imagine being like that. It would have been fun to go on the show with such an open-and-shut case. I’d have brought Jill as my witness. Jill and I would have had so much fun flying to L.A. for the taping. We would have stayed in a nice hotel and eaten out! This case was so easy, it would be one of those where the plaintiff and their witness really didn’t have to say anything. Judy would play with the defendant for a few minutes to make the whole thing worth her while, then eviscerate him and slam the gavel down. Then Jill and I would have had time for lunch before our flight back!

Jill! We’ll always have L.A.! (In our dreams.)

P.S. Thank you again to Jill for donating the stove for the studio, and for standing up for her donation when the chips were down. And thank you, to all of you, for your support. It means so much to me.

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Posted by Suzanne McMinn on March 15, 2012  

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  1. 3-15
    1:11
    am

    GOOD FOR YOU!!!!! Loved seeing the stove come home!!! :snoopy:

  2. 3-15
    1:13
    am

    Justice done…good for you.

  3. 3-15
    1:23
    am

    Amen, sister Amen. As she says,
    “They don’t keep me here for my looks, they keep me here ’cause I’m smart.”

  4. 3-15
    1:33
    am

    And I was looking forward to seeing you on Judge Judy, lol.
    Best picture ever :snoopy:

  5. 3-15
    1:42
    am

    Good for you, your cousin & Jill from Spencer! Great scenario of Judge Judy/L.A. trip!

  6. 3-15
    1:43
    am

    Suzanne, Good for You !
    52 this outcome however does NOT make you a good person..you still stole property that was not yours…in fact… You, 52 “the abuser” need to confront your sin and immediately , get help.
    ~~Happy Dance for Suzanne~~~

  7. 3-15
    1:45
    am

    Great!

  8. 3-15
    1:53
    am

    :snoopy: Woohoo!

  9. 3-15
    2:09
    am

    Thanks for standing up to him…and thanks for sharing your experience…silence is harmful.

  10. 3-15
    2:18
    am

    I’m glad he did the right thing – in the end. Hopefully you won’t have to deal with his crap anymore. Congratulations and WELL DONE!

  11. 3-15
    2:18
    am

    OH what WELCOME news. I hope this is the end of THAT.

    We love you, Suzanne. :snoopy:

  12. 3-15
    2:29
    am

    This is happy news, but like one commenter said in the original post, I would be leery of using it without getting it checked out first. Not to make you paranoid, but who knows what he could have done to it.

  13. 3-15
    2:38
    am

    I am so happy for you! and yes stand up for your rights!

  14. 3-15
    2:47
    am

    Thanks for standing up for yourself. It feels right. I am so glad you pursued it. Congratulations on doing it the legal way and having success. Thank you, Jill, for helping to make it right.

    I twice let people just take stuff from me. They were empowered by my silence. They were abusive as well. They probably went on to hurt others.

    Today, I am smarter, stronger and more powerful. Good things have come my way and many good things will come your way (as evidenced by the funds for the kitchen studio). More important than things, I am loved by a generous, loving and caring husband for 33 years now. You are loved, too, Suzanne.

    Be safe. Be happy.

  15. 3-15
    4:07
    am

    You did the right thing by not backing down, and especially by doing it quickly.
    If you had taken a week or two to think about what to do, you could well have ended up with a broken stove.

    This was a test on his part. He wanted to know if he could still make you shrivel. You shouldn’t have too many problems with him from now on.

    Bravo Suzanne for taking a stand. It was absolutely the correct thing to do.

  16. 3-15
    5:17
    am

    Yeah!!! Congratulations. I giggled for an hour.

  17. 3-15
    5:21
    am

    Fantastic news!

  18. 3-15
    5:42
    am

    Woo Hoo! Ain’t nothing wrong with standing up for what’s right.

  19. 3-15
    5:45
    am

    Looks good on you Suzanne! The right thing, done the right way.

    :snoopy: :snoopy:

  20. 3-15
    6:08
    am

    Suzanne
    I’m so glad you got your stove back. You have proven that you are a strong woman, and don’t ever think your not. By taken back the stove, you have taken back your life. I’m so proud of you.

  21. 3-15
    6:19
    am

    That is the best news of the morning!!! YEA!!!! I am so excited for you.

  22. 3-15
    7:11
    am

    This is Jill from spencer…. Thanks for all of your support and I am glad that everything worked out in the end and the stove is back with it’s RIGHTFUL owner!

  23. 3-15
    7:30
    am

    I am very happy for you! In thinking about the events of the last few months, it occurs to me that he probably took the stove in somewhat the same time period that the other problems were going on at the new farm. I believe things are turning around and you are coming out on the other side of a long, dark tunnel. May God bless you, your children and your farm. May it be a place of peace, refuge, prosperity and joy to all who gather there.

    This is a totally different subject, but, how is Georgia doing? I miss hearing about her.

    God bless your day!

  24. 3-15
    7:47
    am

    Glad the stove is back, and even more glad you didn’t back down, Suzanne. I think this is a great example of the (legally) right way also being the right way (for you to get what you needed). :)

  25. 3-15
    8:01
    am

    I’m so glad to read this first thing today!!! I read your other post last night and just wasn’t sure what or if to comment. You are absolutely right about not being silent! I am so happy you did not back down and for your moral support also! You have made my morning and I bet yours too!!!

  26. 3-15
    8:04
    am

    Well, I for one am glad for you. I would like to think that he gave it back because he realized what he did and how he acted toward you were wrong. We will never know and it doesn’t matter except for his own moral well being.
    I do believe he owed you an apology as well for his behavior if not in the past, at least for the flippant way he told you that you wouldn’t be getting your stove back either. I hope you received one. It won’t change a thing, but it is always nice to hear.

  27. 3-15
    8:06
    am

    YEAH! I was SO happy to see this posting. It doesn’t change who, or what “he” is… but it sure puts your NEW world spinning on the right axis again! Good job Suzanne! I am proud of you all over again!

  28. 3-15
    8:07
    am

    POWER OF THE BLOG!!!!!!

  29. 3-15
    8:10
    am

    :snoopy: So glad the stove is back and things were done by proper procedure! I only hope you also asked for your key back also!

    Mrs. Turkey

  30. 3-15
    8:13
    am

    Well done Suzanne. :yes:

  31. 3-15
    8:15
    am

    Amen. The stove is home where it belongs. Now back to getting a horse for your daughter! :lol:

  32. 3-15
    8:15
    am

    Glad for you that it worked out in your favor.
    We do well to choose our battles for purpose.
    There have been suggestions (mine included) to just let the stove go to lessen his power over “getting to you.”
    I do see the emotional attachment of the gifting from Jill.
    There is power in numbers and with all the support FOR you to be the champion, I’m very glad you won this battle.
    It’s liberating, empowering and a sure sign that he better step aside and let you carry on your greater purpose.
    Keep smiling!

  33. 3-15
    8:15
    am

    I’m so glad you were able to get the stove back! That was a very brave thing to do. Great work! :woof:

  34. 3-15
    8:19
    am

    Good good good! I’m so glad you did that.I laughed when you wrote it was with permission from him. Ha! He might be rotting in jail if he hadn’t. People like him will never change.

  35. 3-15
    8:27
    am

    :snoopy: :snoopy: :snoopy: :snoopy:

  36. 3-15
    8:37
    am

    Blog power rules! Good for you.

  37. 3-15
    8:39
    am

    :shimmy: YAH! Now, whats next? :) :D :) Enjoy the day!

  38. 3-15
    8:41
    am

    YAHOO for you Suzanne! Way to go girl!

  39. 3-15
    8:42
    am

    Squeeee!!! I sooo totally take back my post from yesterday about letting him just keep the thing! You are awesome, woman!! You (and Jill) and Judge Judy are a coupla classy broads!! :D

  40. 3-15
    8:49
    am

    In answer to the question above, no, he didn’t apologize, and I don’t expect he will. He’s pretty angry, but I refuse to be afraid of his anger anymore. Also, I want to add that more than anything, I took it back for Jill from Spencer because she deserved more than to have the stove she donated for the CITR workshop kitchen to be taken by someone for their personal use.

  41. 3-15
    8:50
    am

    I’m so happy that you took your stove back (and that you did it the right way). That’s the way to show 52 what class and strength is all about. Good for you!

  42. 3-15
    8:52
    am

    Also, from personal experience, you will NEVER get an apology from 52, even though you deserve. I look back on my ex-husband with pity because someone who is so angry that he has to hurt others to feel good about himself must feel pretty badly about himself. That doesn’t excuse what he did though.

  43. 3-15
    8:53
    am

    Being quiet and letting things go only work for some things. I hope pettiness doesn’t start happening on his part. There are ways (legally, of course!) to stop that, too.

    :hug:

  44. 3-15
    9:01
    am

    I love a good legal butt kicking and you did it. Praise God

  45. 3-15
    9:07
    am

    Congratulations Suzanne! :shimmy:

  46. 3-15
    9:07
    am

    Suzanne, good for you. I think a lot of your followers need to know that bad thing can happen to someone that they perceive as having a “perfect” life, you have given strength to others, may this will help someone to get out of a simular situation.
    52 sould be so ashamed of himsef, but sadly people like him feel no shame. I give you a lot od credit for never printing his name, but many of us that have Family in WVA know who is acually is.
    Hopefully he will leave you alone, but there again this kind of person has to alway have someone they try to intimidate, it makes him feel like a man, Very sad.

  47. 3-15
    9:12
    am

    He’s angry? Or embarrassed? :hissyfit: the jerk.

    Seriously, don’t be going to the farm alone. I’ve got a truck, I’ll help you haul.

    Here to help

  48. 3-15
    9:18
    am

    Good job, Suzanne! It IS the right thing! And now…..back to your regularly scheduled life :snoopy:

  49. 3-15
    9:21
    am

    Bravo! You definitely did the right thing!

  50. 3-15
    9:27
    am

    Congrats!! Good ending to a terrible story. I bet it’s going to be hard for him to get another date, especially if this poor woman is ever pointed over to this blog.

    I’m not sorry about anything I said about you, 52, but it’s one less stop I have to make when I get to Charleston. Too take some classes. Using Suzanne’s stove. :)

  51. 3-15
    9:33
    am

    Awesome news, Suzanne!!!! :snoopy:

  52. 3-15
    9:43
    am

    Way to go Suzanne and Jill. So he didn’t care for what the people on this blog had to say about him. Ahhhhh, too bad. Grow up, get over yourself 52. So proud of you Suzanne. :snoopy: :snoopy: :snoopy: :snoopy:

  53. 3-15
    9:45
    am

    After reading the wonderful news and seeing that he had read your post, I can’t help but wonder what his thoughts were. Many angry people posted here. I do tend to believe that it was more the contact of the Charleston police, the signed letter from Jill and possibly someone from the police department contacting him that caused him to give the stove back. I doubt there is even an ounce of remorse for the grief he caused you.

    I am so sorry you had to endure the abuse from 52. I only pray that there is not another victim for him to abuse. It would be nice to see him hook up with some woman who abuses him and see how he likes it. I’m sure he wouldn’t stick around too long.

    I know we don’t like to have our children involved in our domestic problems, but I’m sure it wasn’t easy for Ross and Weston to go off and leave you in that situation. Thank God you and Morgan are in a better place now and hopefully the “big bad bully” will leave you alone.

    I offer you the use of a truck, too. If I can help in anyway, let me know. I have a husband and my son-in-law use to be your UPS man. I’ll recruit them and we’ll get ‘er done!

    Congratulations and much more happiness to you and Morgan.

  54. 3-15
    10:13
    am

    Now the stove is gone, and he’s left with just lonely and bitter.

  55. 3-15
    10:25
    am

    Glad you didn’t have to resort to the buttkicking method as proposed by fbeye.Judge Judy would not have approved.Seriously though,you did it all the right way and we applaud your spunk.

  56. 3-15
    10:29
    am

    I’m so glad you got the stove back~~I so hope that it ends here.Two adult people can not sit down and talk things over civilly when one has a mental problem.You did the right thing by notifying the police~and maybe a restraining order might not hurt.You are a true pioneer woman~~~keep your shotgun loaded and your window blinds closed. We are all on your side.You are very much loved.

  57. 3-15
    10:30
    am

    Done to perfection! Now get that thing hooked up and baked those goats some cookies! :hungry:

  58. 3-15
    10:45
    am

    52 did that just to show you he was still manipulating and in control. You showed him he doesn’t have that power over you any longer. Since he obviously reads these posts (or at least some of them) then I have this to say to him – 52 YOU ARE A COWARD! COWARDS BEHAVE THAT WAY. NONE OF US ACROSS THE UNITED STATES WHO FOLLOW SUZANNE’S BLOG RESPECT YOU. WE THINK YOU ARE SCUM.
    Not that he probably cares, but that sure felt good to write!

  59. 3-15
    10:49
    am

    Happy for you Suzanne and Jill. strong women will get the job done and right.

  60. 3-15
    10:49
    am

    Best news I’ve heard so far today!!!!!!!!!!!!! May the right Prevail!!

  61. 3-15
    10:58
    am

    Forgive and forget.

  62. 3-15
    11:38
    am

    You got the gold mine, he got the shaft! Well Done! :yes:

  63. 3-15
    11:54
    am

    :woof: :woof: I’m so glad that you got what was rightfully yours!
    Women all over the world actually read your blog :sun:
    Personally I am in Denmark, and I know of several others in sweden and germany too…you’re making a much bigger impression than you think :heart:

  64. 3-15
    11:56
    am

    Yay for the stove returning! :snoopy: Glad you went about this the right way, wouldn’t have expected anything less from you though. :)

  65. 3-15
    11:57
    am

    i am SOOOO proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  66. 3-15
    12:02
    pm

    What great news. Glad the stove is back where it belongs. As you said, the stove was given to you (CITR) by Jill, not to him and it was most definitely not for his use.

    Way to go standing up for yourself!!!

  67. 3-15
    12:14
    pm

    You’ve proved you’ve got what it takes to make it. My hat’s off to you. I can’t wait to see how Sassafrass Farm grows and evolves! You’ve also done exactly what he tried to prevent you from doing…being a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need him for your self-worth. Suzanne, you rock! :shimmy:

  68. 3-15
    12:15
    pm

    I am so glad you took back what is rightfully yours, although the thought of seeing you on Judge Judy kinda makes me wish you would have gone that way. I too love Judge Judy!

  69. 3-15
    12:17
    pm

    Suzanne, I was STUNNED when I read your posts yesterday, too stunned to comment. From all your lovely posts about 52 and his family and from the pictures of him over the years, I would have never dreamed that an abuse problem existed. You didn’t comment when you moved–which I respected, so I assumed that the relationship had simply ended as relationships sometimes do. You’ve never had anything but good words to say about 52. What a shame that he has an issue such that he must belittle, demean, and abuse someone else to feel better about himself. Perhaps he will get help.

    In the meantime, you have been brave to make the change–with a GREAT DEAL OF CLASS!– and will now go on to have a bright, happy, successful future. You have also shown your children that they must not live in a similar situation.

    Through your blog, you have made many friends and have followers who appreciate you and admire what you do. YOU have made a positive difference in my life. All I can do is say thank you and to wish you all the best in the future and all the good things that you deserve.

    Pat in Eastern NC

  70. 3-15
    12:20
    pm

    :hug: So glad u and Jill and CITR got the stove back-the best way–but especially what you got and gave to so many women-standing up to a bully :woof: Empowered so many. I did harber a nice vision of a few hundred/thousand chicken sistas all bringing their meanest rooster-throwing it in his house-and circle his house/block a few times over-hands clasped together-singing “We shall overcome”……..well if we could have afforded it -it would have been great!! At least we were there for u in bogland-and always will be! Peace to you Suzanne! –Rain

  71. 3-15
    12:26
    pm

    Yay you! Are you great or what?!?

    Cut the people out of your life that bring you down and make you feel small and worthless; surround yourself with people who love and believe in you!

  72. 3-15
    12:27
    pm

    This is for 52, you should move on!! You have no more power over Suzanne so let it go, you can’t bully her anymore, she just proved it.It was so much more than the issue of the stove.

  73. 3-15
    12:28
    pm

    I’m so pleased that right has prevailed and you have the stove back, 52 must feel like a one legged man in an ar*e kicking contest….

  74. 3-15
    12:37
    pm

    Well Suzanne you proved me wrong and that makes me happy! I was one who said to not take back the stove, not because it was your, but because I was afraid 52 might do something to the stove to injure you. The way you handled the whole situation most likely didn’t give him time to think about what he could do to the stove.

    I am proud of you Suzanne and know you did the right thing. So what if he is angry….so were you. You go woman. Prove to yourself and the world that no one is going to keep you down.

  75. 3-15
    12:42
    pm

    Amen and Amen to all the positive support for you and your family…and those animals! I don’t comment much, but know the “readers only” are for you too!!!! “Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!”

  76. 3-15
    12:52
    pm

    OMGOODNESS!!

    Can you imagine just how danged happy the STOVE must be???!!!
    Thank the Good Lord!

    Suz,

    I’m so sorry that you have had to suffer so. My sister has been though such a place and I know it’s an ugly one. She is now a strong woman and the ex ? well lets just say…He went no where fast.

    That sub-human that was in your life … is no man. He is a COWARD and a FOOL. He also knows you putting this out here he has been put in his place. If he doesn’t, he can spend time in a place with bars on the windows and with Big Bubba as a roommate. One can only hope.

    Keep moving forward Suzanne and don’t look back. You have found your good place and with lots of support behind you. The Lord has only good things for you now. Never doubt that…as you’ve already seen it in the works.

    Jake’s a Girl

  77. 3-15
    12:56
    pm

    I was out of town and read both stove posts last night so glad to see that this morning you have it back. I didn’t post advice last night because I was so late in seeing them and I was conflicted about what to say. At first I thought just let it go and get a new stove but then I’d think about him getting away with stealing and bullying and I’d think you need to get it back…here’s the deal….I’ve been in a relationship where I was bullied and controlled and it took a lot to get out of. But what affects my thinking even more is watching what a couple of friends have gone through—and these are smart, educated women with careers, just like you. I used to think that women like that would not be in these situations, but I was so wrong. Anyway, when I read today’s post I thought, “Wow, I am so glad he is only a bully and not psycho.” Because the average run of the mill mean bully will cave to pressure, but the person with true mental illness will often get worse. You know him ( I met him once at the party at the farm I attended – thought you deserved better then) , so you will need to asses the situation. I have a friend that I used to advise to stand up to her ex, now I would say just stay away and have no contact. The system, fairness and our sense of justice works when both people are mentally stable (or at the least have some conscience) , but the rules change when one is not. Be careful. And lots of people can fool lots of people. Also, for your own sanity, don’t let him keep doing stuff like this to suck you in. I have another friend ( I keep them around to make my life look perfect – haha just kidding) whose ex husband will always find some way to play on her sympathy, or make her mad, or something, anything to get her attention and have some interaction with her. And she falls for it way too much. Don’t let 52 (0h how badly I want to say his name) do that to you again. Get all of your things out ASAP, get the farm sold, cut your losses and stay away from him! So glad you don’t have kids together!

  78. 3-15
    1:01
    pm

    I read your response and I am not surprised that he didn’t apologize to you based on his behavior, but it really shows the character. At least this episode is behind you now and you really need to get the remainder of your things and the kids things out of the other farm as soon as you have help to do so. That way the only connection left is the actual sell of the farm and we are all hoping that happens speedily so you can put this all in the past for good! Life is too short and precious to spend it unhappy. Here is to all the wonderful memories at your new farm :snoopy: :snoopy:

  79. 3-15
    1:22
    pm

    :shimmy: :snoopy: :sheep:
    I am so happy for you that you got what was rightfully yours. You are right-don’t back down. Bullies are really just spineless people but you, Suzanne, have a spine made of titanium. Also–this shows Morgan that she doesn’t have to take crap from anybody either.

  80. 3-15
    1:26
    pm

    VERY happy you got it back. Kept up on this topic but didn’t comment on the other 2 posts. I would like to trash your ex, but I’ll just end with this: Some people don’t deserve oxygen.

  81. 3-15
    1:51
    pm

    Ahhh….the sweet smell of JUSTICE! Good for you!

  82. 3-15
    2:48
    pm

    RIGHT ON!!! Justice is served!!!

    Dianna

  83. 3-15
    6:09
    pm

    Wow! That’s great news. (I almost missed this post since you had already posted another Daily Farm today.)

    I still say you need to watch your back though! :heart:

  84. 3-16
    6:25
    am

    Good on ya. It did not belong to him and he took it. I’m sure he never expected you to try to get it back.

  85. 3-16
    8:53
    pm

    I am very glad you got your stove back. I feel like it should have a name, like the Stove of Victory or Victoria. I think your victory was larger than getting your stove back, although that’s pretty good, too.

  86. 3-25
    1:08
    pm

    Rereading some recent posts this morning, and I wanted to comment here to say, A huge thanks to your “Cousin Mark” for all his help and support in the stove incident. You are so fortunate to have supportive family and friends nearby. Don’t be afraid to ask for help…if folks don’t know, they can’t help!
    Looking forward to the reveal of the Big Secret!

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