New? Register Here    Lost your Password?

A Favorite Recipe for Fruitcake


Post by community member:

My Grandma Lovey was fun. Lots of fun!

When she passed away, I got custody of her recipe box. That’s kinda funny in itself because she wasn’t all that great of a cook. For example, if she would make cinnamon rolls, they would turn out burned. My dad told me that the worst thing he had ever tasted in the world (!) was a cheesecake that she made. He said it tasted like she used a sharp cheddar instead of cream cheese. Then he’d shuddered at the memory.

I’m not sure if she knew she wasn’t a good cook or not. She never talked about how good anything was that she’d made, but I never heard her apologize for anything either.

She would have been the queen of joke email spreading had it existed in her lifetime. She loved a good laugh, and was especially fond of jokes that could be read aloud. She’d read one, then laugh her cute little laugh, and chuckle the rest of the day any time she thought of it.

This fruitcake recipe is one she got out and circulated every year at Christmastime. Of course, I found it in her recipe box once I had it and I like to bring it out each year, too. I never, ever saw her drink alcohol, and I know she didn’t keep it in her house either. So, why she thought this was funny, I’ll never figure out!

This is my favorite recipe for fruitcake.

You’ll need the following:

a cup of water
a cup of sugar
a cup of brown sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups of dried fruit
a teaspoon of baking soda
a teaspoon of salt
lemon juice
a bottle of whiskey

First, sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another cup.

Turn off the mixerer. Break two leggs and add the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for consistency.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?! Check the whiskey.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table spoon of sugar or something–whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner, throw the bowl out the window, check the whiskey again, then go to bed.

Kathi N blogs at Granddad’s Corner.

Do you have a recipe post or kitchen-related story to share on the Farm Bell blog?
See Farm Bell Blog Submissions for information, the latest blog contributor giveaway, and to submit a post.

Want to subscribe to the Farm Bell blog? Go here.

What can you enter to win this month? Click here.

Comments Leave a Comment
| Subscribe to my feedSubscribe
Posted by on December 23, 2011 | Permalink  

Other posts you may enjoy:


6 comments | RSS feed for comments of this post

  1. 12-23

    Thanks for sharing that great story. Your Grandma loved life and left you with wonderful memories.

  2. 12-23


  3. 12-23

    Ooh, you don’t have to drink to like this joke! In fact, it’s been a favorite among my mother’s family for years, they even like to drag it out at Christmas parties and try to sound drunk when they read it.

  4. 12-23

    this is so cute, thanks for sharing, it gave me a smile for sure!

  5. 12-23

    Kathi N, thanks for the great laugh. Your Grandma must have been a real corker! Merry Christmas to you!

  6. 12-24

    Thank you all for your nice comments! Kathi

Leave a Comment

You must be registered to post a review or comment.

Already registered? Use the login form at the top of the page.

Search Farm Bell Recipes

If searching multiple ingredients, separate each with a comma (xx, xx).

If you would like to help support the overhead costs of this website, you may donate. Thank you!

We Want to Meet You

Farm Bell Recipes is all about you! If you're a member of our community and have been submitting recipes and/or blog posts to Farm Bell Recipes, we want to meet you!
Go to Meet the Cook and submit the form to be featured.

Canning Tutorials

Recent Reviews and Comments

Latest on the Forum

The Farmhouse Table

The Canning Pot

Sign up for the
Chickens in the Road Newsletter

Thanks for being part of our community!