I should move back to the city and eat plastic fake food, maybe that would work?

I've had a disastrous couple of days.

Yesterday, I made marmalade in the crock pot, I've done this before, no sweat. Except of course, this is this week and I can't seem to get anything right. Last time, I made what we call “Chivers'-style” marmalade, with a dark jell. No problem, that's what DH buys when he does, so he was fine with the caramelized marmalade. This time I wasn't going to do that, I was going to make it “regular” style.

Except I had an unexpected errand to run. I put the crock pot into “warm” mode and left thinking I'd finish up when I came back. I got back, look in the crock, everything seems light, so my putting it on warm worked, and then I stirred it. Black strap molasses is about the same color!

OMG, so now what? I dump the pectin in and stir like mad, hoping that the stuff will jell, no more heat req'd. It seemed to be getting thicker as it cooled. So we went to bed.

This morning, the stuff is still syrup. I added another box of pectin, no jell. So we have about 1 quart of citrus syrup. I'll use it, but it really wasn't what I had in mind. I haven't made so much marmalade that I'm particularly surprised. I'll go back to being exact next time.

So I start to make bread after that. I shouldn't have, but I did.

The disasters, in order:

I didn't have enough flour for my regular recipe.

I got he water/flour mixture too wet, turned on the mixer I use and got a slurry splashed all over before I got it turned off.

Added more flour/dried milk like I do, and pulsed the machine this time, only minor poofing resulted.

Relieved, I added the rest of the ingredients, and must have again got it wrong as there are wads of dough all over the place, including my nose. [You haven't been truly insulted until your bread slaps you across the face!]

I start to knead the dough. There's LUMPS in it. I knead and knead. Okay, the bread is the right consistency. I form 2 round loaves and 12 rolls.

The rolls essentially don't rise.

I punch down the two loaves, everything seems fine. Reform them, put them on the pans.

I push 2 of the mini-rolls next to each other hoping they'll merge when rising during baking.

Time to get the rolls out of the oven. I had put them with the loaf on the higher shelf. The bread rose enough that it is now trying to mate with the broiler element. After some tugging (and miraculously I didn't lose any) the pan with the unstuck-together rolls and the bread loaf with a dent in the top comes out.

I go to move the other rack to add the loaf to that pan (I'm using large cookie sheets.) It won't move. After some wrestling, I finally get the lower pan out, the loaf moved, the loaf that had been on the upper pan on the pan, etc. They go back into the oven.

The rolls didn't merge. I have 12 ping pong ball sized rolls.

Well, they taste good anyway.

I think we'll have Stouffer's for lunch, and maybe Kraft Mac & Cheese for dinner. I hate to think what other new ways I could come up with to mangle food!

Judi

Thanks! The bread is good.

DH had LO gazpacho, his part of the pingpong rolls and cheese for lunch. Me? I had a hunk of the dented bread and Robin's dipping herbs for lunch. No disasters, thank God!

Judi

Thanks for the chuckle!

My earlier standard would probably be 20+ years ago, when I made lemon chicken with cream of tartar coating the chicken instead of cornstarch. It didn't taste good and it made neither of us feel too good. I called my sister to find out what to do? She laughed so hard she couldn't talk, and never did call me back. My SIL, got out a PDR, determined that it wouldn't kill us, gave me heck for not calling poison control (I never thought of it!) and told us what we could expect….

Judi

Judi,

Hope you have a GREAT day today!!

judydee