OK Monica…remember you did ask

Congratulations on the new job.This one is especially for you:

A big shot attorney had to spend a few days in hospital for check-ups.He was a right royal pain in the proverbial,bossing the nurses around as if they were his own staff.None of the staff wanted anything to do with him.In fact only the head nurse could stand up to him.

She came into his room and announced she was going to take his temperature.After complaining for several minutes ,he crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No Im sorry" said the nurse,I cannot use a oral thermometer for this reading. This started yet another bout of arguing,but finally he rolled over and bared his behind.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer,she announced," I have to go and fetch a piece of equipment,STAY LIKE THAT ,DO NOT MOVE".  Leaving the door open,she left the room.

He lay there cursing as he heard people walking by laughing.

After thirty minutes ,the mans doctor came into the room."Whats going on here?" he asked.

"Havent you seen anyone have his temperature taken" The man replied.

After a pause,the doctor replied……….

"Not with a Daffodil"

My goodness Kathy……I promise  you that I did not know……..Seeing as you keep sheep.I presume you knit him lots of sweaters!!!

PS. As a moderator of Suzannes Blog,perhaps I shouldv PM you with my daily joke.I know lots of Blonde jokes that I am dying to relate

A man goesinto the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi,and the cabbie says,"Perfect timing ,you are just like Frank"

Passenger: "Who"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman.He's the guy who did everything right all the time.Like my coming along  when you needed a cab,things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time".

Passenger:"There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie:"Oh no,definitely not Frank Feldman.He was a terrific athlete.He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis.He could golf with the Pro's.He sang like a Opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star,not to mention he was a fantastic piano player.He was just an amazing guy."

Passenger:"Soiunds like he was someone special."

Cabbie:"There's more….He had a memory like a computor,He could remember everyone's birthday.He knew all about wines,which food to order,which fork to eat them with.He could fix anything.Not like me,I change a fuse,and the whole street blacks out.But Frank Feldman,he could do everything right."

Passenger:"Wow some guy then."

Cabbie:"Frank never made a mistake,and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.He would never answer back even if she was in the wrong;his clothing was always immaculate,shoes highly polished….He was the perfect man,He never made mistakes,no one absolutely no one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger:"Amazing fellow,How did you meet him?."

Cabbie:"Well ,I never actually met Frank.I just married his Bl***y widow."

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. The 6 year old asks, “You know what? I think it's about time we started cussing.” The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, “When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with h*ll and you say something with a**.”

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, “Aw, h*ll, Mom, I guess I'll have some CocoPops.

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up , and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, “You can stay there until I let you out!”
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, “And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?”

“I don't know,” he blubbers, “but you can bet your fat a** it won't be CocoPops!”