Ah, sounds like my out-laws.  They were sweet and looked politely pleased the first couple of years I sent hand-made gifts near 25 years ago, but the smiles grew thin quickly after that.  Consider them craft-challenged and unappreciative of your time.  I now send restaurant gift cards (bought on discount) and lush ornaments (bought on deep sales) for their present or future Christmas trees … when young, the nieces and nephews received an annual ornament so they would have at least 20 pretty ornaments for their first Tree.  A strong tradition in my family, even that was questioned as they evidently didn't read the accompanying notes.

Happily I have one SIL (DH's only sister) and her husband that consistently responded warmly to anything I made … each year she gets a fat box of goodies and the rest of the in-law siblings net a fancy card (still handmade, I'm stubborn) with gift card & ornament.  You might consider having your DH do some shopping and determine for himself the substantial hit on your gift budget as to what he is suggesting.  He may not realize what he is asking nor the hurt you might feel with this indifference toward the thought you put into his family's gifting.

So sorry to hear this.  My ex-laws were just like that.  I have a current DSD that makes fun of anything homemade.  It's sad when people only see value in name brand junk.  If that's they're wish, then don't worry or feel badly about it.  I'm sure there is someone in your life that would appreciate your time, effort and love put into your homemade gift.  That would be my preference. 

You like crafting, but they don't like the gifts. Why not make items you could donate to a charity (there are many) and give them a card telling them what you have done in their behalf. If your husband wishes them to have something else, he is free to do it. There is a big "ick" factor in shopping for things you believe to be a waste and I wouldn't want to do that either. Another option is to suggest that you ALL forgo buying for each other and buy for Angel Tree or something like that.

If they can't appreciate you donating to a worthy cause, then perhaps they need to be shocked into seeing what it feels like to receive nothing.

Mamajoseph, I like that idea of instead of gifts, buying for the angel tree.

We send just a gift basket of homemade goodies…cookies, fudge, etc., to the families, plus a little something, a book, little car, mittens, to the 6 great-grands. The little kids are excited to get a gift in the mail no matter what it is.

(I am speculating on this, because we've NEVER gotten a thank-you or a return gift for what we send each year, not even a phone call.) Every year we say we're not going to bother, but we still do.  I love to make goodies so will keep on doing it for the fun if not the gratitude. After all, isn't that what it is, a GIFT. It doesn't have to be reciprocated.

(Off my soap box now!)

brookdale said: "(I am speculating on this, because we've NEVER gotten a thank-you or a return gift for what we send each year, not even a phone call.) Every year we say we're not going to bother, but we still do.  I love to make goodies so will keep on doing it for the fun if not the gratitude. After all, isn't that what it is, a GIFT. It doesn't have to be reciprocated."

In all the years the nieces and nephews were wending through childhood, we received ONE set of thank you notes from the kids for our gifts and that was because we made the trip to make the rounds of DH's family for the holidays (several over 25 years actually).  They're in MI, we're in CA and we're financially less able (but really crank those frequent flyer miles!) … DH's two brothers have never made a trek to our home.  Yes, you're right, we send gifts because to do otherwise makes your heart feel small no matter how up or down the year has been.  I don't think it's a question of doing what is expected but what makes the reflection in the mirror easier to smile at in the morning. Giving something is less stressful than giving nothing, whether there's a response or not … likely why charity donations are at a peak during the holidays.  And I sure like the idea of combining the two: a donation in another's name!  Perfect!

kdubbs said:

We've started giving photos of our kids to our adult relatives–like one of the pp's, I didn't really know what to get for people who have everything already.  We have them taken (inexpensively at a local small-town studio); then I pick up a variety of cute frames on the cheap at T. J. Maxx.  The kids are 4 and 2, so they change a great deal in a year and grandparents and others appreciate new photos.  I do purchase gifts for our kids, but I try to go for books, clothes, and, for my daughter, a set of kid-sized horse brushes in purple, her favorite color.  (She asked if Santa's elves could make her a set of brushes for her pony that were small enough for her hands–how do you not give in to that request?)

I spent the summer drying herbs in small batches so that I would have enough to give to family members this Christmas.  I'm putting them in the tiniest Ball jars I could find, along with cute labels, bows, etc.  I think the reaction will be mixed–my mother will appreciate and use them; my husband's aunt will ask how she should use them (I'm giving her some of my favorite recipes as well); and my brother-in-law's wife will probably look at me funny and pitch them!  But so be it. You can't please 'em all, but it's supposed to be the thought that counts.  For the record, I would love handmade or homegrown gifts!

Oh yeah I can send my name and address if you want to send some my way!! I would love something like that and my herb garden did nothing this year!!