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4:40 pm
November 9, 2010
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I read through all of these and i have to say that I am blessed, my MIL and I get along great, we didn't always but we have developed an understanding for each other.
My OWN sisters are the ones that I have problems with, well one of them. I think that it is mostly she lives a city life and I country. She is single no kids and I am happily married with 2. We are just on different paths in life. BUT she is still rude about things…I think that is why I only talk to her when there is a death, birth, or holidays.
I am sorry that some have to deal with in-laws like that, I know that my hubby has had issues with my parents, and being on that side of the stick it sucks. You love your other half and your parents, you always seem to be stuck right in the middle no matter what!
6:01 pm
October 30, 2009
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I've also read through these posts and my heart goes out to each of you! I, too have these issues …..with my own mother! I just can't seem to do right by her….
8:21 pm
January 21, 2011
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That hurts the worst to be rejected by your own mom! I mean who cares about outsiders, but your own family rejection hurts the worst! :(
9:09 pm
December 29, 2009
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I always prayed that when I married and had a MIL that she would be wonderful and loving. Guess what!! I got just that. Turns out I should have been praying harder for a better husband. The husband I divorced but my blessed MIL said "You and my son are divorcing, not you and me. He's my son and I love him….but he's a fool for letting you get away." That was 15 years ago and my ex-husband passed away 8 years ago (cancer) but she and I are still great friends and get together a couple of times a month.
As to home-made gifts. Years ago I made rum balls for my brother-in-law and never heard anything more. About 3-4 years later my sister said "remember those rum balls you made, could you make me some because I was the one to eat most of them because they are so good." Now they are the traditional Christmas rum balls.
Also, I crocheted my sister some slippers. Heard nothing. Several years later she asked if I could make her another pair of slippers because hers were so holy and threadbare that she was embarrassed to wear them. Again, they are now a traditional Christmas gift.
I finally told her she has to speak up if she likes something that I make that is edible or needs replacing. If I don't hear any feedback I just figure that she didn't really like it and I don't bother making it again.
10:45 pm
October 18, 2010
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MMT, could you tell us how to make the neck coolers? That would be a really "cool" gift for my sis. We love things we make for each other.
11:20 pm
May 11, 2009
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Glad to hear I'm not alone in my homemade plight, lol. The crazy thing about it is that I have a great relationship with my in laws, so this was like totally out of the blue. Probably why it shocked me so much.
2:03 am
March 21, 2010
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Brookdale, it was years ago that I made the neck coolers. I know I had a couple that I used last summer, but I can't seem to find a one right now. Basically you take about a 6 inch X 4 foot piece of material. Fold it in half length wise, right sides together, sew 1/4" seem across one end and up the loose side to the other end. Now your have a long tube, turn the tube right side out and flatten out. About 12 – 14 inches from the closed end sew across the tube. Add about 1 - 1 1/2 Tablespoonsful of water holding granules (the kind you put in potting soil to hold water in potted plants). About 12 – 14 inches from open end sew across the tube. Fold in the open end 1/4 – 1/2 inch and sew. That's it to making one. You want to soak in a pan or sink of ice cold water. The granules will aborb the water. Kind of spread them out along the tube as they absorb the water and plump up the tube. Once the granules are full and soft and plump, put the tube around your neck and tie the loose ends in a loose knot to hold it around your neck. I usually do 2 at a time, put one on my neck and the other in a zipbag in the frig. When the one on my neck eventually warms to my body I switch them out and put that one in the frig. Get them wet now and then to help keep the outside cool. DO NOT LEAVE THEM SET IN WATER FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME. They will absorb too much water and start oozing thru the material. Kind of yucky. DO NOT FREEZE THEM. You can't get them around your neck and they will break trying (ask me how I know that). These are great to help beat the heat in the summer.
12:03 pm
October 18, 2010
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Thanks, MMT! I am going to try these!
5:11 pm
March 21, 2010
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You are so welcome, Brookdale. I really enjoy sharing anything I can as I am so grateful for all I have learned and the generous gifts I have received from others on this forum. 
9:00 pm
April 10, 2011
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I know exactly how you feel. My sister requests not to receive "home made crap" for herself or her kids every year! Oh well. I still give home made gifts. Just call me incorrigible!
7:17 pm
February 3, 2010
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Oh, this makes me sad, especially when I think about how talented our CITR crafters are. Anything you want to send my way, I'm sure I'd be more than grateful for.
So here is how I'd handle it. I'd tell the snooty ones 'We were at this little shop in the Hamptons ( or Belize or a kibbutz in Isreal, the really snooty ones you tell it was from an invitation only Etsy shop) and we saw (this gorgeous hunky staving artist, wholesome Danish farmgirl or toothless local weaver, fill in the blank with whatever will appeal most). Everyone was gathered around fighting for (whatever you made) and we nearly didn't get one but I told (DH, SD, OS) that we just had to get one for you because you deserve it."
Watch the appeal go up. Its all in the marketing. And think of the satisfaction in a couple of years when you causally get to say with an appropriately puzzled look, "Bought you that in County Cork? Why no, my dear, I made that!" Hopefully in front of the garden club after snooty gift recipient was bragging about it.
10:24 pm
August 24, 2010
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I take the easy way out. I only give hand made or home made gifts to those that I know appreciate them, and the love that went into them :)
1:04 am
August 27, 2010
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I'm sorry you and your in-laws didn't see eye-to-eye on that one, Steph. When I receive gifts I don't particularly love, I accept them graciously and am genuinely grateful that someone thought of me. I wouldn't consider it very good manners to keep asking if it was going to harm me or ruin my clothes, either. I'd use it though, as I like home made laundry soap.
I've had similar experiences, though. The one that hurt the most was a beautiful rose plant that I gave a friend who expressed an interest in gardening. I went through a lot of trouble to get it to a stage where it was ready to be transplanted, then I brought it to her house, and she neglected it so badly it died even though she took care of the rest of the plants in her yard (that I spent a day digging in the hot sun and planted for her, by myself). When I asked her what happened she just brushed it off like it was no big deal.
I just won't give people home made gifts anymore, not the ones who won't appreciate them or neglect them if it's a plant I worked on.
MMT, those neck coolers are wonderful; we had some store-bought ones years ago but haven't been able to find them again. Thank you so much for posting directions! My mother is a letter carrier and I know she'd love one of those again (our family lives in FL).
I can't remember which post it was that said something about a gift exchange and I'm sorry this is a bit off-topic, but is there any way I could participate in that? I would love to pass some home-made love along.
1:47 am
January 21, 2011
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Today I received a wonderful surprise in the mail. 2 home-made dish clothes from my lovely sister. They are the most beautiful soft yellow color and I love them. To me, the things she has made with her own hands is more precious to me than any store bought anything!
6:11 pm
June 1, 2010
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Lindsay, last year I think the gift exchange thread started in august or september. I really enjoy the tea cozy and apron from mommafox, and I'd luv to do the swap again.
11:04 pm
May 14, 2005
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I think the gift exchange referred to is our homemade Christmas swap. We start taking names in late fall, so keep an eye out for the list to start up. It's a lot of fun! (And we are all people who appreciate homemade!)
11:28 pm
August 27, 2010
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Thanks Bonita and Suzanne! I will definitely keep an eye out for that one!
12:58 am
March 2, 2011
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Steph, I am so sorry that that happened to you! Being the person I am( 
), I would give them a small jug or box of "their" favorite laundry soap for Christmas this year!
3:22 pm
May 18, 2010
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Sometimes people can't accept a gift properly whether it is homemade or not. My grandma, my Mother's MIL, always returned everything we gave her for Christmas. They were nice too my mom worked in a high class dept store. My mom finally told my dad to get her stuff himself. LOL
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