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October 5, 2008
Okay, so this isn't exactly about a 'barn' animal…but if I HAD a barn, I might be locking up my Aussie dog, Annie Fannie…
Like naughty children, my dogs tend to leave their 'toys' laying around the yard and I sometimes find myself having to dispose of a dead possum. I was enjoying an evening of television and my girl comes into my bedroom saying, "Mom…we have a serious problem!" Apparently the double bagged throw the dead thing in the trash idea wasn't working. The driveway smelled like a rotting corpse. I had double-bagged it (oh ALRIGHT…husband double bagged it, but I bought the shirt that came in the bag) and placed the bag in the plastic trash can with a lid, but the 94 degrees temps had apparently slowly roasted Mr. Dead Possum.
I went out and held my breath and grabbed the American Eagle bag out of the can…opened the Honda's trunk and tossed it in.
So I’m driving around town with a dead possum in the trunk of my car. Dang garbage bags were NOT holding in the smell. Just what does one do with a stinking dead animal?
I thought of driving over a rural bridge and tossing it into the creek below, but I remembered the stories of Wayne Williams and the missing and murdered children in Atlanta. He was interrogated after being seen tossing a heavy bag into a creek. I could just see SWAT teams rushing the car, wanting to know what dead thing I had just thrown over the bridge.
Then, I thought of tossing it into some woods, but that seemed too much like littering, with the grocery sack and two plastic bags. And I sure as shootin'wasn't gonna 'de-bag' Mr. stinky.
So, I drove.
My gas light came on and I turned into a station. I was standing there pumping the gas, when the first whiff hit my nose. Dangit. I can smell him through THREE bags AND the trunk.
I eyed the dumpsters by the building, but they had the lids closed. I didn't want to be touching the lids to a dumpster. Ew. Then…I saw it. A lone trash can over by the far corner of the parking lot. That was it. The resting place for my nemesis.
He wouldn't fit in the round opening and any shoving on the solid mass was giving me the heaves. So I lifted the lid and dropped in the bag.
Did I feel guilty? Yes. Did I wonder about the smell as the temps soared into the 90s? Uh huh. Was I going to do a drive-by whiff test later in the day? Maybe.
The question remains, what do you do with a dead animal?
(I think next time the carcas is going in the middle of the street…that way the city can deal with it)
I thought this was a one-time problem but, a month later, I looked out on the yard and thought 'What is that puffy, gray thing? A big mushroom?'
I went outside so I could poke it , but soon enough realized the dogs had gone and killed me another possom.
Why would a possom come into a yard with a six foot fence to join three energetic dogs? Are possoms that dumb?
So……..there I stood.
With a big ole dead possom in my yard.
It was too far gone for stew and dumplins.
I pondered leaving it, hoping the dogs might ignore it, but remembered how the previous dead possom had mysteriously changed locations in the yard numerous times.
And the dogs, with their gooshey kisses, can leap as high as my mouth, so the possom had to go.
I salute my friend, Daffnie, who,upon taking my urgent call, iimmediately put on her latex gloves and headed out the door. What a woman!! (I'm thinking her testosterone is a little high…)
Her husband was the one who actually buried the poor little stinky thing….thank God for good friends.
So I wonder….
How many possums does a dog have to kill before I can advertise it as a "First-Rate huntin' dog…GAR-AN-TEED to rid your yard of any varments!" ?
I was washing dishes this morning, and looked out the kitchen window, there was Annie Fannie, taking her morning stroll around the back yard…not a care in the world…with a big ol' dead possom in her mouth.
I leaned in for a closer look HOPING against hope it was her chewed stuffed raccoon inadvertantly outside…but alas, it was a big fat, long-tailed dead possom.
And she seemed so proud.
And of COURSE hubby was not in town.
I opened the window and yelled "LEAVE!!!!!" (her 'drop it' command)
She opened her mouth, dropped her prize, and kinda did this lip smacking thing.
I called my neighbor Cuff, and he came right away with some leather gloves and a garbage bag. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!
This has GOT to stop!! What kind of stupid possom comes to the ground in a closed in back yard with TWO big dogs anyway?
Thank God for friends!!
September 6, 2009
LOL I got a chuckle out of this one. It's all part of country life, dealing with the "presents" our pets bring us. I went out into our garage yesterday morning, feeding the cats and such and went back to check on the kittens. They were all laying in a heap on a tarp, all snuggled together sleeping. "How cute" I thought, taking another glance. I looked and thought "What kitten is that? We don't have a kitten that tawny brown color!!". Sure enough, momma kitty had killed a squirrel and layed it on the tarp by her babies. It looked just like it was sleeping too, except I guess it's sleep is eternal.
hahahhaah, if my cats catch anything.. I do nothing..they eat it (and don't kiss) I'm talking my barncats now.
If the dog kills anything (and my Jack Russell does), I trow it in the pile and next time we burn our garbage..it gets cremated.
Actually we doe that with our dead farm animals too, if a chicken dies..or when my billy died..we cremate them.
You might consider getting a pig..they eat everything….that pig of ours killed and ate 2 of my chickens.
Oh we deworme on a regular base btw LOL
February 10, 2009
February 22, 2010
February 8, 2009
January 3, 2010
May 5, 2010
Depending on your local codes, whatever you do, DO NOT call animal control to fetch the dead possum. Ours chomped the beejesus out a small one, which I reported, and had our endearing oversized pup QUARANTINED. It took some serious verbal tapdancing to convince the woman official to quarantine our dog to our backyard … cross my heart, I promise, I promise … that he would not go on long walks, leave the premises, whilst they tested the possum for rabies. They wanted to remove the dog for two weeks and we pay boarding… WHAT! GAK!
The next possum … the local litter plainly was quite stupid and eager to challenge Darwin's theory … was lifted with tongs into FOUR grocery bags + a kitchen garbage bag tied for eternity (no leaking, no leaking!!) before it went into the freezer to wait for garbage pickup. Yeah, I had to do that with DH gone for the weekend and freaked out grown DD doing an imitation of the potty dance with hands flapping. All this in a suburb and 2am! DD was supposed to be holding the flashlight but it all wound up like insane light effects at a rave. It's a miracle none of the neighbors were light sleepers.
I howled at your story, Miss Dana … things that hit so close to home strike the funny bone well! Thank you for sharing ……
April 27, 2010
OMG! The only one in our family who catches opposumes is our middle son, Kile! He has this thing for them. It was his favorite past time for a long time. To go possume hunting! And yes, I have been possume hunting once in my life. He still has a stuffed one in his truck, on the dash board. His signature on his cell phone is possume! I did have a dead possume in a garbage back in the back of my xplorer once, but not because it was stinkin, cause we weren't sure if it was really dead……so we thought if the garrbage bag moves…we will hear it and know to get the heck out of the xplorer. So, I was just pulling back on to the road when my snake skin purse fell over and hit my oldest son in the lap who was sitting in the front seat, who thought it was the possume in his lap! I had to pull him back in the xplorer because he was half crawled out the window at this point!! I was laughing so hard!!
That is my favorite family possume story!
p.s. Yes kile I know how to spell opposum correctly, It is just much funner and faster to not!
I do know colonel is really not spelled Kernel also!
January 10, 2010
Stop it, stop it! My sides are hurting.
November 15, 2008
Some yrs ago my dd's hamster Gus,named after the fat mouse in the Cinderella movie, died. I found him in his cage on his back with his legs sticking straight up in the air!So, I put poor Gus in a shoe box and put the lid on. When my ex came to pick the kids up for a visit I sent Gus with them so he could give him a proper burial at his place out in the country. Well, I was renting and didnt own a shovel. Never thought anymore about it until about a wk later when the ex brought the kids back after another visit. My dd said she asked her Dad where he buried Gus. He was still in a shoebox forgotten on top his fridge! EWE! So, they had to have a funeral,in the woods out back for Gus right then and there!
October 5, 2008
LOL…I can just see the purse shifting and pretending it's a possum!
And the hamster hanging out all week is disgusting!!! It's no wonder he's your EX husband. EW. I wonder why he didn't think the kitchen smelled disgusting and different…
One thing I'm thankful for, though……we really don't have skunks around here. Yay for no skunks!
September 6, 2009
You don't have skunks? Very lucky!!!! About a month or so ago I was taking the dogs out potty at about 10pm and when we went out I smelled the smell. I hurried the dogs as best I could and as I was hurrying back towards the house I heard this racket in the garage and see something black and white scurrying out of the garage door. In the split second I was deciding whether to have a heart attack or try to sprint to the house dragging our beagle behind I realized it was one of our barn kitties Oreo coming out to say good night.
November 7, 2008
We used to have this dog that absolutely hated (or loved – depending on the perspective) groundhogs (woodchucks). That dog would kill any ground hog in a 2-mile radius of the farm. The klincher was this. That dog had to be some kind of "canine gourmet" because the dog would go dig his own hole and bury the deceased "whistle pig" (an Appalachian name for ground hog). Then, after 3 days, the dog would dig up the well-seasoned and aged ground hog and proceed to eat it. EWWW! Fortunately, we didn't have any smells except for the dog's breath. No kissing allowed!
April 12, 2010
October 5, 2008
Oh SHERYL that is just AWFUL!!! (we need a vomiting smilie!)
It's like that disgusting island dish where the fish rots in some hole or something then some producer on the show 'Survivor' digs it up and makes the contestants eat it…YUCK!!!!!
April 12, 2010
October 5, 2008
I Wanna Farm said:
Here's the vomiting 'smile'. lol
Seriously, just thinking of that dog 'ripening' his dead catch makes my mouth water like I'm gonna throw up. SICK! Why on earth would a dog DO something like that??
This is where a cat, eavesdropping in on the conversation would say, "Naturally, I'm not surprised. Dogs are a lesser form of life. They leave their poo right out in the open for God and everybody to see, sometimes even eating it for heaven's sake, then having the nerve to run up and kiss you right on the mouth. I see no difference in letting their food rot and stink to high heaven. I've told you once and I'll say it again. Dogs drool and Cats rule."
September 6, 2009
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