Okay, so this isn't exactly about a 'barn' animal…but if I HAD a barn, I might be locking up my Aussie dog, Annie Fannie…

Like naughty children, my dogs tend to leave their 'toys' laying around the yard and I sometimes find myself having to dispose of a dead possum.  I was enjoying an evening of television and my girl comes into my bedroom saying, "Mom…we have a serious problem!" Apparently the double bagged throw the dead thing in the trash idea wasn't working. The driveway smelled like a rotting corpse.  I had double-bagged it (oh ALRIGHT…husband double bagged it, but I bought the shirt that came in the bag) and placed the bag in the plastic trash can with a lid, but the 94 degrees temps had apparently slowly roasted Mr. Dead Possum.

I went out and held my breath and grabbed the American Eagle bag out of the can…opened the Honda's trunk and tossed it in. 

So I’m driving around town with a dead possum in the trunk of my car. Dang garbage bags were NOT holding in the smell.  Just what does one do with a stinking dead animal?

I thought of driving over a rural bridge and tossing it into the creek below, but I remembered the stories of Wayne Williams and the missing and murdered children in Atlanta.  He was interrogated after being seen tossing a heavy bag into a creek.  I could just see SWAT teams rushing the car, wanting to know what dead thing I had just thrown over the bridge.

Then, I thought of tossing it into some woods, but that seemed too much like littering, with the grocery sack and two plastic bags. And I sure as shootin'wasn't gonna 'de-bag' Mr. stinky.

So, I drove.

My gas light came on and I turned into a station.  I was standing there pumping the gas, when the first whiff hit my nose. Dangit. I can smell him through THREE bags AND the trunk.

I eyed the dumpsters by the building, but they had the lids closed. I didn't want to be touching the lids to a dumpster. Ew. Then…I saw it. A lone trash can over by the far corner of the parking lot. That was it. The resting place for my nemesis.

He wouldn't fit in the round opening and any shoving on the solid mass was giving me the heaves. So I lifted the lid and dropped in the bag.

Did I feel guilty? Yes. Did I wonder about the smell as the temps soared into the 90s? Uh huh.  Was I going to do a drive-by whiff test later in the day?  Maybe.

The question remains, what do you do with a dead animal?

(I think next time the carcas is going in the middle of the street…that way the city can deal with it)

 I thought this was a one-time problem but, a month later,  I looked out on the yard and thought 'What is that puffy, gray thing? A big mushroom?'

I went outside so I  could poke it  ,  but soon enough realized the dogs had gone and killed me another possom.  

Why would a possom come into a yard with a six foot fence to join three energetic dogs? Are possoms that dumb?

So……..there I stood.

With a big ole dead possom in my yard. 

It was too far gone for stew and dumplins.  

I pondered leaving it, hoping the dogs might ignore it, but remembered how the previous dead possom had mysteriously changed locations in the yard numerous times.

And the dogs, with their gooshey kisses, can leap as high as my mouth, so the possom had to go. 

I salute my friend, Daffnie, who,upon taking my urgent call, iimmediately put on her latex gloves and headed out the door. What a woman!! (I'm thinking her testosterone is a little high…)

Her husband was the one who actually buried the poor little stinky thing….thank God for good friends.

So I wonder….

How many possums does a dog have to kill before I can advertise it as a "First-Rate huntin' dog…GAR-AN-TEED to rid your yard of any varments!" ?

I was washing dishes this morning, and looked out the kitchen window, there was Annie Fannie, taking her morning stroll around the back yard…not a care in the world…with a big ol' dead possom in her mouth. 

I leaned in for a closer look HOPING against hope it was her chewed stuffed raccoon inadvertantly outside…but alas, it was a big fat, long-tailed dead possom.

And she seemed so proud.

And of COURSE hubby was not in town.

I opened the window and yelled "LEAVE!!!!!" (her 'drop it' command)

She opened her mouth, dropped her prize, and kinda did this lip smacking thing. 

I called my neighbor Cuff, and he came right away with some leather gloves and a garbage bag. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!  

This has GOT to stop!! What kind of stupid possom comes to the ground in a closed in back yard with TWO big dogs anyway?

Thank God for friends!!