Don’t Laugh


We have had a very blustery few days here, and this weekend, I discovered my farm sign on the ground.

Blown off the post! Who was going to fix this for me? Would it be too extreme to call the superboys? Would my sign be down for weeks or months while I waited for someone to fix it for me? When was my cousin going to be over here again??? Such were my helpless, hapless thoughts until–

Oh, yes, until!

I thought, why, Suzanne, YOU CAN FIX IT YOURSELF. HA!

Dubious yet excited, I set upon the scene to investigate.

The sign hangs from two chains that are attached with S hooks to staples under the arm of the post. One of the staples had blown out completely. The other one still had the chain attached, but in both cases, the sign came detached because the wind blew it off the S hooks.

Getting down on my hands and knees, I searched around to find the missing staple, but wasn’t able to locate it. I did find the missing chain.

I trudged back to the cellar to cast about for an alternative. What about a fencing staple?

Raiding the stash of tools left by the previous owners, I got a hammer and pliers, along with my fencing staple, and took off again.

By the way, so far, I have discovered three hammers left here. I have so many hammers! But what does it all mean? Did they have more than three hammers? Who has more than three hammers? Did they leave all their hammers here? Does this mean they never intend to lift a finger again for the rest of their lives, down to not so much as hammering a nail in a wall to hang a picture? What does this say about life on a farm when you walk away leaving everything down to your hammers?

Never mind. Don’t answer that question.

The fencing staple was a whole lot bigger than the other staple, and I couldn’t hammer it all the way in there. It’s hard to hammer upside down.

But when I hung the chain on it, I realized the two chains were even anyway, which made no sense. The sign must have been tilted before and I never noticed. Well, now it’ll be even!

I hung the sign back up–

–and see these S hooks?

I pinched them closed with the pliers.

Now my sign won’t blow off again!

I felt very competent and construction-y. Not a single person drove by on the road while I was wielding the hammer and pliers, which was very disappointing.

But–I fixed my sign all by myself! I’m smokin’ hot.

You just wait till the day I find something to do with that drill I bought last month.

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Posted by Suzanne McMinn on February 27, 2012  

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37 Responses | RSS feed for comments on this post

  1. 2-27

    CONGRATS! I always knew you had it in you!!! I told you about a week ago that I believe you were capable of handling all sorts of challenges. You are a smart and CAPABLE woman.

  2. 2-27

    Way to go, Suzanne! Like there was ever any doubt.

    BTW, watch out for those hammers. They’re sneaky devils. often hiding whenever you need them. Then when you’re searching for the screwdriver, you’ll find more hammers than you thought you had! This can happen even if you have an organized toolbox, beware.

  3. 2-27

    Good job, Suzanne! It’s hard for me to hammer upside down, too.

  4. 2-27

    1. You can’t have too many hammers.

    2. Drill, baby, drill. Just remember: self-starting wood screws (aka drywall screws) with a driver bit for the drill, and “screwmate” bits for when a pilot hole is absolutely necessary.

    Great start on the new Ms. Fixit career path!

  5. 2-27

    Good for you! Hammers are very handy. I keep one in the barn, house, and several in the shop. BTW if you have a cordless drill go ahead and get the batteries charged so that when you get inspired you won’t have to wait for 12 hours:-)

  6. 2-27

    Funny post. Love your sence of humor!


  7. 2-27

    Woo Hoo!! Way to go girl!! :shimmy: Celebrate every success! There is a sense of satisfaction that comes from being able to do something yourself isn’t there? No, 3 is not too many hammers, you will need them because they hide in mysterious places.
    Loved that post!!

  8. 2-27

    The sense of accomplishment is great!! Keep up the good work. :)

  9. 2-27

    A woman with tools….gives you quite a sense of accomplishment, doesn’t it? :sheepjump:

  10. 2-27

    Reward yourself for a job well done! A good cup of coffee and some tasty tidbit for your time and trouble. Now whenever you pull into your driveway you will have the satisfaction of knowing you re-hung the farm sign yourself.

  11. 2-27

    Yay, Suzanne!! You can do it! I’m proud of you.

  12. 2-27

    Wonder how many here are old enough to remember that very old bawdy joke, who’s punchline is : “Lady, your sign fell down!” :lol: :lol:

  13. 2-27

    I agree with Old Geezer, when in doubt, DRILL! I use my drill more than any other tool and I always prep a project knowing I want to use my drill as the primary grunt. Great job on the sign, no stopping you now!

  14. 2-27

    Great job, it’s lovely to have the tools and be able to do your very own fixes. There is a tool that we wouldn’t be without, it is a flat magnet about the size of a can lid on the end of a stick (Harbor Freight and most hardware stores) so when you drop a staple, or that one nut that holds the tractor together, you can just sweep the magnet over the ground instead of crawling about on hands and knees peering between grass blades.

  15. 2-27

    You go, girl! First hanging a sign….and eventually, driving a tractor…. :lol:

  16. 2-27

    Don’t wish TO LOUDLY… Nature has a way of fulfilling those wishes BIG time. You should adopt the mantra “Never Underestimate the POWER of Woman- She CAN DO ANYTHING! It’s the power of positive thinking. And you have proven before- you are a force to be admired.

  17. 2-27

    You did good :)

  18. 2-27

    I probably shouldn’t even admit this, but last year after never being able to find a hammer, of the 4 or 5 we had, Husband went out and bought 6 more! And you know how many I can find now? 2!!!

    Nice repair job. Lock up your hammers before they wander off!

  19. 2-27

    Way to go Suzanne! You’ll be drilling before you know it! Kind of reminds me of the time when my dad bought a bench grinder wheel, my sister went and “sharpened” all his screwdrivers for him. Every. Last. One. And then drilled holes in the wall for the furnace room. :D

  20. 2-27

    Suzanne, you are a riot! BUT, I definitely identify with your wish for someone, anyone, to see you wielding your tools and successfully fixing something on a farm, no less. Not just around the house, but the farm. That takes grit. That takes ingenuity. That takes determination. Well, you know what I’m saying. It would be great to have a neighbor say to their friend, “I saw that new woman at Sassafras Farm fixing her sign today when I drove by.” You could become the stuff of legends! :happyfeet:

  21. 2-27

    I’m not laughing! I fixed my chicken house door the other day and all I needed was a screwdriver. I was so proud! Good job!

  22. 2-27

    You go girl! Proud of you!

    When I do things around the house, after waiting an eternity for DH to attempt them, he always wants to help – then! I find my skill set improves the more I attempt. And when I really mess up, I call my handyman. :)

  23. 2-27

    Watch out boys, she’s got a drill! LOL!!! Way to go Suzanne. :-)

  24. 2-27

    This has probably been my favorite post so far this year! Love it! WORK THAT HAMMER, GIRL!

  25. 2-27

    Good for you!

  26. 2-27

    Suzanne….you Rock! Didn’t you feel such a total sense of accomplishment when you were done fixin’ your sign? You should!!!
    You are a strong, competent woman…with a heart of gold :)

  27. 2-27

    GOOD WORK!! Way to be brave and do it yourself. :) I’m sorry nobody drove by, but at least now all your readers know that you’re brave and handy and fixed it ALL BY YOURSELF! :)

  28. 2-27

    ..oh yeah, this could be the start of something big.

  29. 2-27

    Good for you! There came a point, though, when I just wanted to hand it over to someone else. Last month, my 20 lb. baseball-bat-proof mailbox magically lifted itself off the post and landed in the street. (It couldn’t be the teenagers in my neighborhood…they are all so SWEET). I have several hammers, at least two corded drills and one battery-powered one. I have nails and screws for days. I just called somebody. Couldn’t deal. You’ve inspired me to not give up! :-) Thank you! :sheep:

  30. 2-27

    You can do anything you put your mind too. Hardest part is getting start. Then just do it. :shimmy: :shimmy: :shimmy:

  31. 2-27

    I am woman, hear me roar! Way to go, Suzanne. BTW, my daughter loves her drill!!!

  32. 2-27

    “Construction-y”….love it! And it was a very good idea to squeeze the S-hooks closed so it won’t blow off again! :yes:

  33. 2-27

    So proud of you Suzanne. We have lots of hammers here…one in the kitchen, one upstairs in the desk drawer, one in the basement, one in the garage…actually a couple different sized ones in the garage. We also have a screwdriver & pliers in all the above places too. Saves a lot of running around when you need to fix something quick!

  34. 2-27

    Some may think it was a small job, but it’s a HUGE accomplishment!
    I’m proud for ya!

  35. 2-29

    Good for you, now we have to get you a pink toolbelt!!

  36. 3-1

    Suzanne….I am a fairly good carpenter. I have bought many houses in my life, remodled them, and sold them. Also built many chicken houses, barns, and fences. I don’t get around very well now, but I can still do somethings. I would be happy to help you learn how to use the tools and give you some carpenter lessons if you need someone to teach you. Since I just lost my husband, I will have a lot of time on my hands. I do not read the posts here a lot so if you are interested, drop me an email at [email protected] I got a new dewalt drill we can play with too! Seriously, I could tell you what you need to do and in what order etc etc…I worry about you. I live in Preston County, maybe we could get together sometime. Let me know.

  37. 4-3

    I so understand the power of winds! Glad you had what you needed to fix your sign. I don’t have a sign nor a post but did figure out the proper name to my little place. The Four Winds. :sun:

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