My name is Suzanne and I don’t like to sign books.
Maybe I should explain why I have this problem. Wait. I can’t. I don’t know why, really. Maybe because I’m shy. Maybe because I have terrible handwriting. Possibly it’s just a mental problem. Maybe because I’ve done many booksignings in my romance writer past which mostly involved directing people to the store restroom. I learned that the first thing one should do upon arriving at a bookstore for a booksigning is to determine the location of the bathroom because that is the most common reason people stop by your table.
Whatever the reason, I have a weird almost phobia about signing books, though I WILL DO IT. Unless you’re close to me personally, then good luck. Because if you’re close to me, I expect you to understand my phobia. I gave a copy of my book to MMIO and he asked me to sign it, which I still haven’t done. I gave a copy of my book to Morgan and she asked me to sign it, which I still haven’t done. MMIO had supper at our house recently.
MMIO: “She won’t sign my book.”
Morgan: “She told me to sign her name myself!”
Me: “You should have my signature down by now.”
Okay, now that none of us really understand my problem, let’s get to the solution. For you. I think there’s no solution for me.
So many people have asked me about autographed books already. I do have a couple of booksignings coming up if you are in the local area.
I’m doing a booksigning today, Thursday, October 17, at Taylor Books in Charleston, from 6:00 to 7:30–please come see me! Today is also Charleston’s ArtWalk, 5:30 to 7:30–so come get a signed copy of my book and get free wine and snacks up and down the street. Also, I’ve been told that Taylor Books WILL allow people to bring in already-purchased books tonight for me to sign, so come on!
Saturday, October 26, starting at noon, I’ll be signing at the Books-a-Million in Charleston (Southridge/Corridor G)–and I’m planning to bring Maia with me! (She’ll be outside on the sidewalk with Morgan, greeting customers.)
If you can’t attend one of these booksignings–you can send the book to me (go ahead and read it first!) and I will send it back to you, signed. If you want to do this, email me at email@example.com and I will give you the address to send. You can also do this if you’ve purchased copies of the book as gifts and I will sign it however you like and to whoever you like.
If you are in reasonable driving distance–in West Virginia, eastern Kentucky, southern Ohio (within 3 hours distance), you can possibly talk me into coming out if you can arrange an appearance with a group, such as speaking for a community or civic organization or your local library. I’d be happy to do a speaking engagement and sign books. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you’re not within a reasonable driving distance–I’ve done a lot of speaking engagements in the past, all over the country, and even to Canada, I’ll go anywhere, but if you’re outside what I consider a reasonable driving distance (3 hours), your group would need to be able to provide travel (possibly airfare) and hotel. Again, email me at email@example.com.
I’d love to see you, or get a signed book to you, despite my mental problem, so there are several ways you can get a signed book from my nut-stained fingers. Because, yes, I have another problem at the moment. My fingers look like this:
Hulling walnuts is what one should do just before a booksigning, right? I like to think it makes me look like an authentic West Virginia farm girl. Right? RIGHT?
You can order Chickens in the Road: An Adventure in Ordinary Splendor now!