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So the gutter guy calls. He’s coming to look at the house before he does the gutters. There are rare spots of cell signal in the country. You can find them if you are desperate, or if you are a teenager. (16 knows ALL the cell signal spots.)
Gutter Guy: “I can’t find your house. I’ve been driving around in circles and I’m lost.”
Me: “Where are you?”
Gutter Guy: “I went out Vineyard Ridge, passed the low water bridge, and turned right on Johnson Creek.”
Me: “You were supposed to go left after the low water bridge. Where are you?”
Gutter Guy: “I’m wherever I am if I went right after the low water bridge!”
Me: “Okay, are you even sure you are on Johnson Creek? Did you take a big hairpin turn before the low water bridge?”
Gutter Guy: “Yes. Then I passed the low water bridge and turned right and I’m at the end of Johnson Creek.”
Me: “So can you see an old building there that used to be a store?”
Gutter Guy: “Uh. Yes.”
Me: “Is there a church with two outhouses?”
Gutter Guy: “There’s a church……”
Me: “Drive over there! See if there are two outhouses.”
Gutter Guy: “Okay. Yes, there are two outhouses. DO YOU KNOW WHERE I AM?”
Me: “Yes, I know exactly where you are. Keep going and take the first right.”
And if you ever come visit me, I will help you the exact same way. I’m better than GPS. I will lead you here by the outhouses.
Posted by Suzanne McMinn on March 13, 2008
6:02
am
My directions include buildings other landmarks, like that tree that has a broken branch that looks like a dog’s hind leg. I don’t know road numbers. I do know directions though.
Anyway, good luck with the gutters.
6:18
am
I’m terrible at giving them, too. Always cringe when tourists stop and ask me how to get to such and such a place or street, as I seldom have the answer. Since I don’t have a vehicle, I navigate by signs too — the house with the lovely garden, the one with the cute dog wind vane…. Even after 8 years in my neighbourhood, I still don’t know most of the street names!
Presumably your gutter guy found you!
-Kim
6:27
am
6:45
am
Here part of the directions I give to get to my house:
Bear left at the bridge, pass where the church used to be on the right, go up the bad hill by where Ken Parrish lived, go around the curve that looks like you’ll drop off the edge of the world, pass the drilling rig that doesn’t run any more on the right; before you drive out of the ridge meadow into the woods you’ll see our red barn mail box on the left. you won’t see the house, but turn anyway–if you have four wheel drive. Otherwise, blow the horn and well come up and get you. People get here every time.
6:46
am
That seems perfectly normal to me!
*LOL*
6:50
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7:39
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8:22
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Sometimes I really do miss that place.
8:37
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9:04
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9:12
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9:22
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9:35
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10:24
am
Love the cover of that book you’re reading. Chicken butts, ahoy! How is it, so far?
10:35
am
11:44
am
I also like your cell phone signal locations. My boss has property in Wyoming and when he goes out west he has to find a hill-spot that he can get cell phone reception on to call the office. One of his spots is by the state outhouses.
12:46
pm
Your directions sound fine to me. Here in SC you don’t give too many directions without including “turn at the railroad tracks”. *g*
2:37
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2:47
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3:03
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We live in the middle of nowhere too. I have to laugh when folks arrive up here, pale and nervous, saying something like, “I can’t believe you live here.”
More power to us. Life is too short to live in the suburbs.
3:11
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Cole
3:34
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6:01
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8:55
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9:33
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I grew up in Georgia and Tennessee, but I had never seen an actual, working outhouse until last year when I went to Kazakhstan to adopt my son – then I saw too many. I had to actually use two – and man were they gross!
I’m sure they make great landmarks though! LOL
Dee
9:35
am