Dateline: A farm in the boonies.
Coco the Giant Puppy surprised a handful of observers yesterday with an unexpected descent from her porch-top quarters. The previously timid Great Pyr pup showed off her stair-stepping skills with the aplomb usually reserved for the experienced, full-grown dog.
“It was no big deal,” Coco stated to the media. “I could have done it before if I’d wanted to.”
Quickly at ease with the farmhouse grounds, the famed livestock guardian pup frolicked in the mud and clambered about an overgrown hillside. Her comfortable style suggests fans can expect to see a less orderly-coiffed Coco in the future as the growing Great Pyrenees demonstrated a complete abandonment of hygiene and fashion. Rumors floated that Coco has expressed plans to go cocoa-colored.
Responding to concerns, Coco said, “I like mud. It feels good to roll around in it. It tastes good, too.”
The giant pup’s foray onto the farm wasn’t greeted with enthusiasm by all residents.
The cats disappeared without comment, but a press spokes-hen delivered the chickens’ unified position: “We feel this was an unnecessary development and we are disappointed in the decision.”
Dookie-the-farm-shih tsu, after spending much of the past few weeks with the giant puppy on the porch, turned down cable news channel requests for an inside story, making this terse statement: “I go down the stairs all the time and nobody cares.”
Coco, oblivious to both praise and criticism, had only this to say on her return to the porch: “Will you scratch my belly?”