Glory Bee found her boyfriend online. She’s not ashamed of this–over 50 percent of relationships today start online. She’s young, hip, and connected to modern culture.
She liked his profile.
Username: Night Off
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Body Type: Beefy
Ethnicity: Black Angus
Drinking: 15-20 gallons per day
Relationship status: Polygamous
Children: Proud parent
I like a woman who is completely self-sufficient, sympathetic, a good listener, and a giver who expects nothing in return. Don’t expect me to do any of the work in the relationship, and don’t even plan on me sticking around. Here I am, ladies! Come get me!
Night Off is one of those guys who won’t even post his real picture online, but Glory Bee was attracted to his mysterious, arrogant air. Pretty soon, they were exchanging text messages and flirting during milking time. And sure enough, he asked her for a date!
She was hoping he’d show up in a big shiny Silverado (Glory Bee loves a man with a truck!), but he came in this liquid nitrogen container instead.
After getting to the bottom of things, inside this straw was a very small package of semen. The vet “felt up” Glory Bee then inserted a long tube and shot the semen into her cervix through the tube.
It was not at all what Glory Bee was expecting on their “first meet” date! There was no dinner, no dancing, no sweet talk, nothin!
But if it works, there will be a baby in May.
Just don’t expect Night Off to be around to help change diapers.