Once upon a time there was a little kitten. She was black and her name was Desdemona. She lived in an old farmhouse in the country and her life was full of mice and birds and other cats to play with.
One day, Desdemona saw her mistress getting ready for company. Her mistress, not thinking Desdemona could help, put her outside while she cleaned. Desdemona didn’t want to be outside. She was tired of mice and birds and playing with other cats. Desdemona wasn’t such a little kitten anymore. She was a big kitten now! She wanted to help!
She decided she should break in through a window by pushing the screen down at the top then climbing over the curtain rod and down the drape, knocking it all to the floor in the process.
Then she said to herself, “Now that I’ve let more light into the house, what else can I do to help?” She thought and thought about what she was good at. She was good at catching butterflies. She was good at scratching people’s arms and legs. She was even good at growling at the dog. But no, that doesn’t sound like it would help her mistress get ready for company.
Then she came up with the perfect thing! She went straight to the bathroom and said to herself, “Here is what I do best.”
And she promptly peed all over the floor.
Anyone want a kitten?