Beulah Petunia’s Big Adventure


Yesterday afternoon, I walked into the big meadow bottom ruled by Beulah Petunia to discover this:


My cow was missing! I contemplated panicking. What do you do if your cow is missing? Who do you call? Do you drive up and down the road looking for your cow? What if you don’t find it on the road? Do you put up flyers in the local stores? Do you call the sheriff? (“Hello, I want to report a missing cow.”)

She’s pregnant! What if she’s all alone and she has her calf? Well, okay, so she’s probably going to have her calf alone anyway, but that’s NOT THE POINT. I want my cow!

So then I decide that this is not happening. I mean, where’s she going to go anyway? It’s not even that easy to amble off around here–our farm is hilly and surrounded by more hills and thick woods. BP isn’t that agile. And she spends most of her life sitting on the creek bank chewing her cud. How much ambition could she have to go anywhere? So I called for Beulah Petunia just like when I’m going to milk her.

And I heard something in the woods.

It was a chicken. Then I heard something else….. Something…..

….that was NOT a chicken!

Beulah Petunia!

There she was, on an old logging track that runs along the far side of the creek outside the fenceline, up against our hillside. Sort of like a child who runs away and only goes to the back yard.

Beulah Petunia: “But I was born to be wild.”

I moved her into the middle field, shutting the gate on the field with the damaged fence until that can be fixed.

She ate some hay and contemplated her behavior.

I have a feeling she didn’t feel bad about the whole thing one little bit, especially the part where I had to push, pull, and drag her back to the field.

Latest photos of her baby bump:

Notice how big she is on the right side.

No sooner did I come back to the house and sit down on the porch to relax after all that pushing, pulling, dragging, and panicking than I heard something suspiciously like a baby goat IN THE GOAT YARD. I looked over the porch to find this:

That’s Sailor, racing around in the yard as if he doesn’t belong tucked safely in the pen with his mama.

So I ran down the porch steps, into the goat yard, and tackled Sailor. Then I fought off four goats and two donkeys who wanted to come into the goat pen with me, grabbed the other one (Pirate) and stole them both away from Clover. I tucked the babies back in the goat house until we can fix the place where the babies are getting out of the goat pen.

Clover chomped on some fresh grass, enjoying a few moments of freedom before demanding to be let into the goat house with her babies so she could act like a responsible mother.

Clover: “Children are such a burden.”

And then I sat down on the porch again and waited for the next disaster.

A few minutes after that, the local, state, and federal authorities descended. (Luckily that wasn’t a disaster. If you missed that one, you can see it here.)

And then one of the guineas got into the garden and couldn’t figure out how to get out and I had to chase it up and down rows of corn until I could rescue it. And then another guinea went too far down the hill and got so upset when I put the other guineas (including the one that had been stuck in the garden) and the chickens up for the night that I had to go down the hill and get it and drive it back up in my car. Because it couldn’t find the way back up. Because guineas are the most delightfully dumb creatures I’ve ever seen.

It was a busy day.


  1. Nona says:

    Wow you had one very busy day I am so tired from just reading it can’t imagine doing all that work!
    You hang in there and enjoy the babies!
    Love your way of explaining how fun your little farm is.

  2. Grandmatotwochicks says:

    The animals are running a muck! love the photos, don’t you just love days like that! :woof:

  3. Blessings says:

    I think you have a mutiny on your hands, when was the last time you baked THEM cookies?
    Just Sayin! LOL

  4. Patty says:

    Wow, and I thought I had a busy day! LOL You’ll sleep well tonight! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Kelly says:

    Amen to the Guinea commet. Numb birds, but I love em.

  6. Johanna says:

    Some days it just seems it would be simpler to throw open the doors and gates and let the creatures take their fate into their own hooves (or whatever kind of “hands” they have)! Controlling everything is much too stressful.

    Glad everyone’s safe.

  7. Heather says:

    Oddly…. I have had days just like this, only mine involved a miniature bull who thinks he is a deer who can jump over the fences. Ya know that poem about the cow who jumped over the moon? I think that cow was a Dexter! Glad you ended the day with all the critters where they belong ๐Ÿ˜€

  8. Tracey In Paradise,Pa. says:

    Thanks for sharing your adventures..I totally enjoy when its happenening to someone else..
    Hugs Granny Trace

  9. Jersey Lady says:

    Glad BP is home again. Actually, calling the Sheriff is a good idea because a cow on the road is a traffic hazard. If you have a local radio station, call them too. Our local station in Nebraska had a Lost and Found time for just such situations.

  10. BuckeyeGirl says:

    Guinea fowl are so amazingly stupid there’s just no way to explain it to people who have never known any. It’s like they are utterly determined to be as foolish as possible and to never, I mean NEVER intend to gain a lick of sense!

  11. Jane says:

    Hi Suzanne,
    I was wondering, have you given any thought to milking/breeding your sheep?

  12. Suzy says:

    You’ll never have to go on a diet…look at all the calories you run off!

  13. Carmen C. says:

    OH MY! sounds like you need a long, relaxing NAP, LOL!!!!!!

  14. farmershae says:

    I love days that are tiring and frustrating, but then you laugh your head off about it later. My question, how did you get the guinea in the car? Mine were more skittish than the chickens, not willing to just jump in anyone’s car!!! ๐Ÿ˜†

  15. Cher says:

    I just love your farm adventures. Beulah is getting quite the baby bump. Won’t be long an you’ll have another four footer to tend to. Have a wonderful weekend.

  16. Tina says:

    What a day! So at any point during all this mayhem did you collapse in a fit of hysterical laughter, or maybe give in to a good long cry?! If it were me, it could have gone either way depending on the hormones du jour! Hang in there! :hug:

  17. shirley says:

    :sheep: I’ve been wondering about Annabelle.How about an update on her?

  18. rileysmom says:

    Do you think the full moon had something to do with BP’s “wild behavior?” Maybe the grass was greener over the gate…
    Luckily, you keep a close eye on her.

  19. Helen says:

    At least you will never get bored with your exercise “routine” :sheepjump: !

  20. princessvanessa says:

    Yup, sounds like a guinea fowl. They are so dumb that they can turn around and think they’re lost because they are looking the opposite direction.

  21. whaledancer says:

    Gee, and some people wonder why you can eat pie and bread and cream and such, and not gain weight. Jane Fonda never had so much exercise as you do, just getting through a day on the farm.

  22. Lisa says:

    What is wrong with all of your guineas? They sound broken lol! Mine are so smart, they follow me around the yard and through the woods, they always lay their eggs where they are supposed too, and if they get separated the male in charge calls for the other ones and they come a-running from wherever they are, they are so curious, the only complaint I have is that some of the hens have diva moments where they won’t shut up, and if we don’t put them to bed on time they sleep in the tree, which is fine except that they wake up at the butt crack of dawn ๐Ÿ™‚

    BTW because of all your goat stories, I am getting goats in the spring, come hell or high water!!

  23. Donna says:

    Who needs aerobics classes when you could run a farm like Suzanne? Love hearing the tales, Suzanne!

  24. jean says:

    I am definitely a city girl. As you were talking about the Guineas I was thinking you were crazy for chasing a guinea pig. Yes, the only thing we have around here are pet guinea pigs not chickens. I laughed like hell when I realized my mistake. Oh well.

  25. Patrice says:

    It feels terrible to realize that one of your animals is missing. We have become so good at herding our cattle back, with the help of my oldest, that we have nicknamed my oldest daughter “sheep dog.” There is a development near our farm and I hate getting one of those calls about animals in someone’s yard. No matter how “on top of” fencing you are, they are all just natural born Houdinis!

  26. kathy says:

    Best of luck in building a kid proof pen. My only completely successful pen (temporary for an hour) was my livingroom. They adored the couch. Your black babies sure bring back fond memories of my 3 little Nubians. Sometimes when you’re in their pen, get down on all fours. Mine used to love that. They climb up and then jump off. Or try and butt heads with me. Fun times. Lucky you.

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