Dookie the farm shih-tsu revealed his fresh spring style Tuesday, replacing his recent industrial mop look with a clean, sheared coif.
According to unpublished reports, the eleven-year-old purebred lost at least one film role starring alongside Reese Witherspoon and Matt Damon due to his disintegrating personal condition over the past several months. Rumors floated claiming depression and alcohol were involved in the famed farm shih-tsu’s hygiene troubles, but sources close to the farm dog said, “He’s a happy, well-adjusted little guy. He’s just not that particular sometimes. I’ve seen him playing in the creek every day, and he’s been taking naps in piles of sawdust.”
After a full spa day in the city, Dookie returned to his new farmhouse where friends and family greeted the newly-glammed doggy with a celebratory soiree. Five-star chef Wolfgang Puck catered the bash, serving the finest in lamb and rice hors d’oeuvres. Entertainment was provided by Carrie Underwood and Alan Jackson. Whether this showy return to public decency will bring film roles flying back into the farm pup’s lap is yet to be seen. Some in the fashion world were quick to criticize the new look as rash and severe, while others, perhaps more generous, called it “coquettish, bold, fun, and frisky,” and wished the shih-tsu celeb the best of luck. Dookie’s personal stylist noted, “We had no other choice. We have to take a scorched earth approach in these cases. He had to be shaved.”
The only statement Dookie made to the media was, “I need a nap now.”
Let’s just hope it’s not in another pile of sawdust.