Foiled Again


Clover, noting a disturbance in the force.

And that disturbance is….a plot, a plan, a strategy to foil her latest, greatest efforts to escape my milking madness!

After a dreamy, magical, enchanted period in which she succombed to my cheese-driven will (not to mention the hobble), she came up with a new idea. Sitting down. Need I explain how difficult it is to milk a goat when it’s sitting down? Of course, I can’t let her sit down. I have to keep her upright, at any cost! And so I’ve been holding her up with one hand, milking her with the other. But the more I’ve tried to foil her attempts to sit, the harder she’s worked at sitting. At one point, I even had my leg under her to hold her up! (Not the best position for milking, may I point out.) I must confess that I taught her a few bad words that day!

Of course, other than milking time, Clover loves the milkstand.

It’s the family nap zone and jungle gym.

It’s a mountain peak from which to survey the world.

It’s a playhouse where Nutmeg can pretend to be a big milking mama goat, too.

Its “business” days were over, according to Clover.

But I had a surprise for her!

Out of various ideas floated about as I picked the brains of many people in the past week since Clover has taken up this unconscionable sitting behavior, a few additions to the milkstand were born. My own pure genius plan!

These side bars were attached…..

….to hang a wide belt that would prevent her from sitting down.


Me: “What do you think of that, little missy?!”

Clover: “I think…

…that it was…

….quite tasty!”


  1. Snapper says:

    Happy Tuesday.

  2. Heidi says:

    LOL she is SO naughty!! That was a great idea – we had a hoof trimmer fellow come out to do our horses and he a chute that the horse would go into and then he would put on those ‘belly bands’ so the horse couldnt sit. He made them out of old tires that he cut to size… try an old bicycle tire… it might be like gum to her!!!! LOL

  3. wkf says:

    Hahaahahaaa!! I would have taught her sailor speech as well!!!! maybe you could make the belly lift out of wood? Or conduit pipe with a swoop in it. Who knows you maybe coming up with a million dollar idea.


  4. hayseed says:

    What ingenious creatures, (and I think she’s smiling in that last shot)!

  5. Diane says:

    Clover is a bad girl. lol. You will have to take the belt off the rails and put it up and away from her the next time.

  6. Becky says:

    I believe it has become a test of wills between Suzanne and Clover. Don’t let her win, Suzanne! We’ll back you 100%! But I must say, Clover is pretty stubborn.

  7. BethAnn says:

    Don’t give up Suzanne!!!!

  8. Shari C says:

    Wow! Talk about determination…you and Clover have something going on who will prevail. Don’t let her win or you will be serving her cookies at her whim. We are behind you all the way.

  9. Lisa says:

    Hmmm, you have Dookie, the Farm Tzu, so you’re familiar with grooming arms. Fasten one of those to the milk stand and you can use a piece of webbing (something wider than a leash for sure) to keep her from sitting down. With a clip on both ends, you can remove it from the milking area when you’re done.

  10. Bre in Ky says:

    Good gracious! That goat is stubborn!
    Have a happy Tuesday! :wave:

  11. Blaze says:

    She’s either completely awesome…or completely Evil.

    perhaps she’s in league with Bad Horse and the Evil league of Evil.

  12. Kathryn says:

    Oh, my gosh! I am thinking that goad and Sparticus have been chatting.

  13. Kathryn says:

    That would be goat. Two hours of sleep do not contribute to typing dexterity

  14. Kari says:

    I’m just going to delurk and say that’s a very determined goat you have there! Maybe leather belts are now the treat of choice in the goat world!

  15. Cactusmom says:

    LOL that has just made my day.

  16. Tresha says:

    OH for the love of PETE!!!! I cannot believe her! OK….what is it about being milked she hates so bad? she gets fed while you are doing it…and…she has nursed babies so she is use to something getting milk out of her….she is nice to you on all other occassions…so what is the big deal here??? do they ever get use to it???? is she just young? oh Suzanne…the whole mountain would have heard me and my choice of words…


    Tresh in ok

  17. Granny Sue says:


    She’s clever, like all goats. Maybe a chain instead of a belt? I don’t THINK she’d chew that.

  18. Suzette says:

    I think it’s time you gave her something else to chew on…like maybe the fact that some people BARBEQUE goats! (Not that you would ever DO that…but she doesn’t need to know, and we won’t tell.)

  19. Abiga/karen says:

    I am beginning to think I really should get a doe who already has been milked before. I don’t think I want to start from the beginning. Hope things get better over there with the milking. She is a very smart goat we know for sure. Blessings.

  20. Treasia says:

    You’ll get this figured out in no time. Clover sure is one smart goat I’ll give her that.

  21. Nancy in Atlanta says:

    I’ve always wanted a goat, but Clover’s antics make me quite satisfied that I can just run to the store to buy milk and cheese. When there’s gas at the pumps in Atlanta, that is. Wait, maybe I need a goat – or a horse – to take me to the store until we get gas! :catmeow:

  22. Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife says:

    Oh my goodness. I swear, goats will eat anything. I caution people not to stand too close because they’ll actually try to eat you clothing.

    – Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife

  23. Wammy says:

    Clover is acting like a teenager. You always have to try to be a few steps ahead. Keep up the good work.

  24. Janet says:

    Very funny!Maybe fix it so you can remove the harness when you’re not milking her, then she can’t chew it off.

  25. Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife says:

    P.S. I’ve always wanted to use your thingies….so…..
    :birthday1: :birthday2:

    Happy Birthday to me!!!

    Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife

  26. Crystal B. says:

    Clover is a clever girl. 🙂

  27. sam says:

    Son of a gun…what a clever girl.

  28. Imogene Birdette says:

    That was a brilliant idea you had with the belt, but I guess it’s not ready for the patent office! We’ll see who comes out on top in this continuing drama… Imogene

  29. Sharon Elkins says:

    Are goats really that hard to milk, or is Clover just one of a kind? You certainly have the patience of Job.

  30. Mental P Mama says:

    Good Lord, how I love this goat!

  31. Donna says:

    LOL that was the CUTEST little story! I LOVE those little goaties! They are just little hams! As you were telling about Clover sitting down, I though, Hmmm, I wonder if some type of bench under her would keep her up…That was so funny she ate the strap. LOL
    I wanted to mention yesterday, I heard in Dallas, some peple were getting botulism from the petting zoo over there, and they found it was from the people petting the animals/feeding them and then I guess putting thier hands in thier mouth, eating later..or something like that…they said to be sure to wash your hands good after petting and playing with them…you prob. already know that, but just thought I would pass it on. :mrgreen:
    They are soo adorable..I would LOVE to hug and play with them! :mrgreen: :sheepjump: and hugs to my Coco!!! :mrgreen:

  32. hawkswench says:

    :birthday2: Suzanne
    Nancy in Atlanta, did you ever thing of dog sledding? You would be surprised.

    I was looking up milking machines for goats, there are a couple of sites that describe how to build your own from auto parts. Are either boy into auto mechanics?

  33. Shirley says:

    Are all goats this hard to milk? She is giving you fits.

    I keep thinking about you having to milk her this winter when it’s really, really cold. I don’t envy you that.

  34. gordy says:

    They make a figure 8 type webbing material thing for dog grooming. Part goes round the neck, part around just before the rear legs. It is adjustable and available in many pet supply catalogs. It is held up in the middle by a grooming arm. Maybe you can make something like that and remove it when not in use. It might be hard for Clover to reach around and chew the thing too.

  35. Sooz in nv says:

    :mrgreen: How funny! A battle of wits with a goat!
    And the goat is winning!
    She must stay up all night, plotting!
    How about a wooden stand (padded, of course) that fits under her belly and attaches to the milking stand? All that leather can’t be good for her…

  36. Karen L says:

    What fun it seems to be, but I know you’re ready to throttle that thing! Just think of the challenge of outsmarting that dam ol goat as a brain workout for you, staving off the OLD AGE BRAIN!!!

  37. Sandra says:

    I’m still sitting here laughing. You really do have some ingredients for children’s book series.

  38. Susan Flemming says:

    I’m sure glad I’d already finished drinking my tea before I scrolled down to that last picture… lol. Oh you started my day with a laugh.

  39. Laura says:

    Oops, forgot to mention that goats will eat damn near anything! A removeable belt would probably be best. Sorry you had to find out the hard way. Maybe Princess or one of the boys could hold her up while you milk before they went to school. Or you could get a removeable belt. :heart:

  40. Shelley says:

    I’m beginning to think that Clover is a diabolical genius!!

  41. Vicki says:

    When I was a kid and stayed at my cousin’s house we milked goats in the mornings. They would pester me by squirting goat milk at me. I turned the tables by trying to catch it with my mouth which turned into a game for them to aim. Was fun until my aunt caught us “wasting goat milk! now hurry up!” Great blog. read almost daily.

  42. teri says:

    Whoever said teenagers were difficult never had a CLOVER!

  43. Robin G. says:

    That is one determined-not-to-be-milked goat. Wow.

  44. Lisa says:

    Clover is a hoot…love reading about your tug of wills..she is one determined goat!! :bananadance: :bananadance: :bananadance:

  45. Ange says:

    Ok this just made me laugh…and I even snorted a little.

    I love this goat but only because she doesn’t live with me. Is it wrong that I find so much humor when you are goat thwarted?

    I can not wait to see what the next plan of attack is.

  46. SuzieQ says:

    I love it…a mischevious goat vs. a determined woman..what a story.. :snoopy: :snoopy: :sheepjump:

  47. Amy Addison says:


    You and Spartacus need to have a little chat about how to bring that goat into line.

    YOU will be victorious yet, I’m positive.

  48. TeresaH says:

    Are you sure spartacus isn’t giving her ideas? LOL

  49. torilennox says:

    She is a wily one, that Clover!

  50. J CopperCreekers says:

    Dang! Look how stubborn she looks in that first pic. I agree with some of the others… it’s not so much hating being milked… as it seem the actions of a teenager.

  51. Susan says:

    Clover is lucky that you love her!

  52. Brandy says:

    I had to laugh at Clover’s determination! You’ll outwit her soon!

  53. catslady says:

    It’s definitely the way you tell the story! Thanks so much for my laugh of the day (and yeah some snorting too lol).

  54. Maureen says:

    Clover is one amazing goat. It’s such fun to read about her latest escapades.

  55. Estella says:

    Clever little wench, isn’t she?

  56. Christine says:

    LOL! Okay, I officially give up the idea of getting goats.

  57. Kacey says:

    LOL, Clover wins. Again. Silly goat!! I still vote on you winning in the end though.

  58. jmorford says:

    Suzanne, you slay me!! I laughed out loud at your newest contraption. As a former goat milker, I understand your frustrations.
    My mother (who I am logged in as) reads you religiously, and we always talk about what you’re up to. Someday, I would like to send her your way in person. She loves you to pieces. You are so inspiring, and you do SUCH fun things!! We love you!
    Mikey, daughter of Jean

  59. Reba in MS says:


    This post about Clover chewing up the belt is the latest I’ve read on your blog. I had Googled “goat hobble” because I’m a new milkmaid and have a first-timer goat who is putting up a fight, and that’s how I found these posts about Clover. I’ll have to check on the latest with her, but I must say it’s been so great to hear of someone else struggling to milk a goat, and it’s been great FUN – sorry it was at your expense! I’ll look you up on Facebook!

    Reba R. D.

  60. christyw1 says:

    OMG! I laughed so bloody hard at that pic of clover with the belt under her belly and the rope around her ankles!!! I thought I was having a hard time milking! Mine have never sat down! thanks for the laugh!!

  61. blue555 says:

    HI, I was wondering if using a web stall guard would work under her belly? Here is one from Big Dee’s ($18) to show you what I mean-

    That way you can adjust it to fit your space, clip it on when needed, un-clip it when you aren’t and put it up so “SOMEBODY” (Clover, we know it was you! lol) doesn’t eat it! LOL And the webbing provides holes for teats to come through too if it is covering that area? What do you think?

    Love your story though! Too cute!

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