I Have a Broom and I Know How to Use It


There he is.
My very own Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, and Darth Vader, all rolled into one.

Mean Rooster.
But this time, I’m ready.

This time….
I have a broom.
And I know how to use it!

I whacked the broom on the ground and said, “Come near me and I’ll beat the crap out of you!” I said it like I really meant it and like I was the World’s Strongest Man. And like I’d really beat him. Instead of, you know, run away screaming.
I’m copping an attitude. An attitude to match Mean Rooster’s.

See him quiver! See him tremble!
Okay, he did approach. He was testing me. I showed him the Broom of Death again.
He pretended he had to clip his toe nails and watch Love Boat reruns, but I know–
–he was scared!
He didn’t even stalk me back across the yard. Sissy! Weenie! I win! I win! I’m a star!
I would like to thank my mother, my goats, and, of course, the Academy.
And thank you, too, Dookie, for your courageous assistance. I couldn’t have done it without you.


  1. beekudzu says:

    I stand in awe of your broom wielding skills. You and Dookie make some teamQ

  2. beekudzu says:

    Of course, my typing skills leave something to be desired. I have no idea what a “teamQ” is. I do know that you and Dookie make a great team!

  3. Senta says:

    Tell Mean Rooster here in Montana we make fishing hooks(Flies) out of his neck feathers. They in fact they charge me 40$ for a piece of his neck. His tale feathers could come in handy too. Since the threat of Sunday dinner didn’t scare him. :devil:

  4. CindyP says:

    Hunh……..just a broom. No beating him with it, just a broom. I guess you don’t have to be mean like him to get what you want!

    Love the photo of Boomer and Coco…..such pals……btw is Boomer fixed? or might you have rat dogs yet?

  5. The Jillybean says:

    We used to have a mean rooster that would chase my sister around the yard when she was really little and steal her diaper. Golly geeze that thing was mean.

  6. Leah says:

    I’m glad you showed that rooster WHAT FOR!Dookie looks so little sitting at the top of your stairs…compared to Coco anyway!

  7. Diane says:

    Horray!!!! :snoopy: So glad you got mean rooster put into his place. See we all knew you could do it. And all it took was a broom? You did not hit him?? Wow you are amazing. lol.

  8. Kathryn says:

    Good for you! I am telling you, even though we now live in town, there is a broom handy to just-in-case fend off maruding robins, squirrels, and bunny rabbits. :hug:

    Go make yourself some Gooey Cake and celebrate!

  9. Fencepost says:

    He ain’t so tuff afterall. He just needed to to be shown who was really in charge. :dancingmonster:

  10. Sheila Z says:

    Just don’t turn your back on Mr Meany Roo. He will test you on your weakest front (back). Glad the broom worked!

    Wasn’t there a character in Cold Mountain that said, “I can’t abide me no flogging rooster.” Possibly said while she wrung it’s neck. Gotta watch that movie again and look for that scene.

  11. Lynda Dunham-Watkins says:

    Way to go!! The tougher they are the quicker they become weenies!!!

  12. M says:

    Walk after him and PUSH him around with the broom. Herd him like he was herding you … and don’t make any high-pitched squealling noises (like a frightened hen) … grunt at him and tell him to ” Move It! Now! Get On There!”

    Then do the bucket and the water at a different time. I trained a neighborhood dog when I was a kid well enough that when he saw me walk around the corner with an EMPTY BUCKET, that dog ran like he was scalded … and he must have been 20 ft away when he first saw me 😆 😆

    Sad Sack recognized a valid weapon with the broom, but he will keep trying you. He needs to know that you have more than one weapon and carrying a bucket around will be a common activity at your home. Morgan needs to do the same thing. The girl plays ball, find a soft ball/tennis ball a “bean” him. Flap you arms and stomp your feet while howling at him! Then talk nice to the ‘girls’ :devil2:

    Make SURE he knows that you BARELY tolerate him.


  13. Chris says:

    Can you get rid of him, or get someone to get rid of him for you? Unless he’s productive and is great at fathering chicks, you shouldn’t tolerate mean roosters. There are nice ones out there. We have a great Bantum rooster, who you can pick up and handle. He doesn’t mind in the slightest. Well, he protests at first, but the neck rubbings usually quiet him right down.

  14. Bev says:

    Stand strong girl….be the Master of your Domain! Roosters can be fierce. I noticed the “little” ducks in the back ground. They are getting so big!

  15. Cyndi Lewis says:

    I’m so very proud of you for showing him who really is the boss! And if you do ever end up “potting” him my DH will volunteer to take the feathers. He is an avid fly fisherman and fly tyer and like mentioned above, he will pay a pretty penny for just the right feather or fluff.

  16. Lucy says:

    I love that! It’s like you have stronger and meaner feathers than he does.

  17. Kelly says:

    What makes roosers so dog gone mean?? I guess that’s why I have ducks ;-0

  18. Kelli says:

    I have a very mean (and large) rooster named Leroy who is the terror of our yard. When we have small children over, there is the problem of getting Leroy into the chicken yard so that he cannot hurt the little ones. I have a large yard rake, the kind with the plastic tines on it. I use the rake to push the rooster across the yard into the chicken pen. As a result, he will not come near me when I am carrying the rake. I have tried kicking him a few times, but that was not enough to scare him. Use the broom to push Freddy Krueger around the yard a bit. He will learn not to like it and will leave you alone.

  19. Mim says:

    Walk out there like you own the place (of course we know you do but the Mean Rooster has forgotten)…my neighbors had a duck that would not leave their rooster alone; he would pull feathers out in big bunches..they gave the duck to a guy up the road…I bet his chickens/roosters are bald by now .

  20. SuzieQ says:

    I knew you could do it. Just follow up with the same behavior for a while so he knows you mean it and after a while you won’t need the broom or any other implement. Most bullies back down when someone stands up to them.! By the way, he really is a beautiful fellow.. :whip: :whip:

  21. JeannieB says:

    Yeah!! I’m so proud of you, keep it up, don’t let him see you cower. Take the broom out every day for a while. You are a WOMAN, he is a chicken!!

  22. Ms E says:

    Congrats on a great first step! However, I suspect he’ll come at your back the first time he has a chance. #13 has a good tip, be proactive in setting the new limits on his behavior and get Morgan involved ASAP. Keep us posted!

    Although his antics have been darkly entertaining, a mean-ass rooster has the ability to really hurt someone. For your safety and Morgan’s, I’m glad you’re curtailing his evil ways.

  23. SuzieQ says:

    Forgot to mention, happens more often than not, this blog I ran up on via Pioneer Woman. You must look at her second picture, she appears to be holding Mean Rooster’s twin!
    https://coalcreekfarm.com/about/ :chicken: :chicken:

  24. Nancy in Atlanta says:

    Yaaaay – step one taken! Good for you, Suzanne of the Broom!!! I’ve been around fowl, but have never faced a mean rooster. However, I can (brrr!) imagine just what damage one could do with those spurs and beak! Keep home schooling your rooster or expel him from the yard!!! :hungry:

  25. KCRanch says:

    The broom will work everytime – don’t be surprised if you actually have to wack him to left field though to prove your point!

    BTW the daily photo of Boomer and Coco is about the cutest thing ever. It looks like Boomer is right at home on the farm.

  26. Melinda says:

    Great job! Keep the broom handy. His is a beautiful roaster! But, I still think he’d make good chicken and dumplings!

  27. Kaye Manro says:

    What a rooster. He thinks he’s pretty– pretty darn mean!

  28. Vera says:

    Rooster may be mean but he is beautiful.

  29. catslady says:

    It was too easy roflmao

  30. Estella says:

    Hurrah for you, Suzanne. You showed him who was boss!

  31. Michelle says:

    Lol! I loved that movie of you batting him away with the other stick. I laughed…I’m sorry I probably shouldn’t but this post was a funny one. You need to show him who’s boss! And you did. You deserve a gold star! 🙂

  32. Jane says:

    Roosters are strange….
    Big Daddy jumped me from behind and knocked me down…… he went to live on a new farm shortly after.
    My other 2 Roosters had a smack down and have been fine ever since.
    I put on my biggest winter coat, a long winter coat, and big gloves. I sat in the yard and let them come at me, one at a time.
    I shoved them back, blocked them and sad “no” in a stern voice. After a few times they both were done. They haven’t come after me since and if I see one of them looking a somebody else I just yell NO and they stop.
    But you should see the Solicitors run down my drive way!!! WOO HOO
    The one thing I can not get them to stop is kids!!! I think it’s cuz they’re short. I don’t know what it is but I keep them locked up when kids are around.

  33. Sheryl says:

    Our rooster has recently begun to attack hubby while he collects the eggs. He has never been agressive with me but I have picked him up and carried him around a few times. I also caught him, held him and applied vaseline to his comb and wattles several times throughout the winter (to prevent more frostbite). I have shown him who is boss. Hubby needs to do the same.

    Now that you have dominated him,lets hope he calms down. You will have to chase him around a few times ever once in a while, when he forgets who is boss.

  34. pat reckart says:

    Hi Susanne
    Its me just little ole pat in weston w.v. I really enjoy reading your blogs, I’ve been wanting to submit a comment for a long time but nener had the courage to do it until I saw the story about the rooster.
    when I was four or five we lived in the country we had neighbors that had chickens one day I was playing in my Grandpa’s wood yard it was so much fun to play there but this day before I knew it their mean ole rooster attacked me, to this day I have a scar right above my eye and beside my nose,another neighbor saw it and ran and got the rooster of me. every one was scared that he had put my eye out my face was blood all over, needless to say the owners of the rooster had chicken and dumplings for supper. I would like to send you comments more often if you want me to.

    just pat in



    Chicken.. I go out there and face him without a broom :dancingmonster:

  36. Netherfieldmom says:

    We used a trash can lid and a plastic light saber (really!), until he spurred our 2-yr old on the cheek for no reason. Then my dad used a .410. Worked like a charm. No more spurs–our only rooster now is a banty we raised from an egg. We love him. Long live “Caesar”!

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