First Meet Date


Glory Bee found her boyfriend online. She’s not ashamed of this–over 50 percent of relationships today start online. She’s young, hip, and connected to modern culture.

She liked his profile.

Username: Night Off
Age: 4
Sign: Virgo
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Seeking: Short-term
Body Type: Beefy
Ethnicity: Black Angus
Drinking: 15-20 gallons per day
Relationship status: Polygamous
Children: Proud parent

I like a woman who is completely self-sufficient, sympathetic, a good listener, and a giver who expects nothing in return. Don’t expect me to do any of the work in the relationship, and don’t even plan on me sticking around. Here I am, ladies! Come get me!

Night Off is one of those guys who won’t even post his real picture online, but Glory Bee was attracted to his mysterious, arrogant air. Pretty soon, they were exchanging text messages and flirting during milking time. And sure enough, he asked her for a date!
She was hoping he’d show up in a big shiny Silverado (Glory Bee loves a man with a truck!), but he came in this liquid nitrogen container instead.
After getting to the bottom of things, inside this straw was a very small package of semen. The vet “felt up” Glory Bee then inserted a long tube and shot the semen into her cervix through the tube.
It was not at all what Glory Bee was expecting on their “first meet” date! There was no dinner, no dancing, no sweet talk, nothin!

But if it works, there will be a baby in May.

Just don’t expect Night Off to be around to help change diapers.


  1. GA_in_GA says:

    Night Off seems a bit on the cold side

  2. cindyinohio says:

    We have had good results with AI. Our 4 th cow is due today!!! and we have 4 more due next Spring. Here’s hoping the little swimmers get to their appointed destination!!

    Don’t worry Glory Bee – at least you won’t have to pick up his socks or listen to his bull****. LOL!

  3. DebbieO says:

    Parental discretion is advised on this comment. Bwa ha ha ha. He “came” in a nitrogen cylinder. I got it.

  4. marrypoppinz says:

    I’m still grinning….one of your best posts ever!

  5. ibpallets (Sharon B.) says:

    Glad GloryBee is just looking for a baby daddy-

    Love your sense of humor and Cindy, you are funny too!

  6. California Paintbrush says:

    He is a real COOL dude!

  7. Joell says:

    It would be nice if he would at least call, but he probably won’t please tell her not to wait by the phone, she probably got all he had to give 😉

  8. Anita says:

    Maybe I’m being just a bit “bull headed” But I looked at that profile and that bull is NO Virgo! He’s a Taurus, thru & thru!! Don’t let him pull your udder, Glory Bee!

  9. Lizt says:

    We just got our Jersey inseminated – if everything worked out she’ll be due May 8. We’re in France so we had a Pie Noir bull. Exciting stuff!

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