I’ll Take One of Those


So we’re driving down this country road looking for the lady who has miniature goats. I’m thinking it’s time to remind her that I want goat babies in a few months. We can’t find the goat lady, so we’re turning around at a farm and–

There were these perfectly wonderful, sweet, adorable sheep.

I. Could. Not. Get. Out. Of. The. Car. Fast. Enough.

So I lost any grip on reality and I was all over this one oh-so-friendly sheep, taking pictures of it, talking to it, petting it. This man came outside the farmhouse and said, “Can I help you?” Now, this happens sometimes when I’m taking pictures. People want to know what I’m doing. Especially when I’m traipsing on their property. Usually, I just explain that I’m taking pictures. Which is weird enough. But by this point, I was practically spasming over this sheep and the whole truth had to go and pop out of my mouth. “I’m sorry, I have a fixation with farm animals.”

Oddly, this didn’t seem to faze the farm owner, whose big concern seemed to be that his puppy had gotten out and would I help him get it? Puppy? What puppy? I can’t see anything but THE SHEEP. With some effort, I expanded my focus, chased a rather large puppy around the yard several times, and eventually captured it and gave it to the man, who promptly went back inside his farmhouse, leaving me to my sheep fixation. He did tell me, before he disappeared, that it was a pet sheep. Bottle fed.


This sheep was so cute. And fluffy. Look how fluffy it is!

Before the man went inside, I asked him if the sheep was fat, or just needed a haircut. Yes, I ask stupid questions. No, he didn’t answer me.

This sheep was in love with me. Can’t you see it in its eyes?

Well, actually, it was kinda in love with the pickup truck I was riding in. The sheep kept walking around and around the truck, rubbing up against it.

And I kept chasing it. Around and around the truck.

But it loved me. I can tell.

I Think This Could Be A Little Golden Book Story


Once upon a time there was a little kitten. She was black and her name was Desdemona. She lived in an old farmhouse in the country and her life was full of mice and birds and other cats to play with.

One day, Desdemona saw her mistress getting ready for company. Her mistress, not thinking Desdemona could help, put her outside while she cleaned. Desdemona didn’t want to be outside. She was tired of mice and birds and playing with other cats. Desdemona wasn’t such a little kitten anymore. She was a big kitten now! She wanted to help!

She decided she should break in through a window by pushing the screen down at the top then climbing over the curtain rod and down the drape, knocking it all to the floor in the process.

Then she said to herself, “Now that I’ve let more light into the house, what else can I do to help?” She thought and thought about what she was good at. She was good at catching butterflies. She was good at scratching people’s arms and legs. She was even good at growling at the dog. But no, that doesn’t sound like it would help her mistress get ready for company.

Then she came up with the perfect thing! She went straight to the bathroom and said to herself, “Here is what I do best.”

And she promptly peed all over the floor.

Anyone want a kitten?

June 28, 2007 - She Can Poop Wherever She Wants Today

Mama Fuzzball with her last kitten, Desdemona. We call her That Darn Fuzzball because she poops all over the house, making herself a most unwelcome guest, and it’s only her continued nursing of Desdemona not to mention the hole in the screen door that explains her presence at all anymore. I really didn’t think she...
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