Princess, bouncing into my bedroom after poring over old 4-H project books: I’m here to demonstrate the proper way to hold a cat!
Me: Run, Buttercup!
But, that quick, it was too late. He was in her arms, an experience equivalent in his mind to being captured in a dolphin net. You know, in the ocean, so he’d be wet and in the ocean, too. That’s how much he doesn’t like her to hold him. In fact, he’d probably rather be in a dolphin net in the ocean.
She, on the other hand, was quite eager. She loves shows, demonstrations, and debacles of all kinds. Especially when she is the star.
Princess: The proper way to hold a cat is–
Me: I don’t think he wants to do this.
Princess: Yes, he does.
Luckily–or NOT–she is undaunted by initial failure. She’s got another one!
She’s going to try to sweet-talk Wiggles into cooperating.
Wiggles isn’t buying it. And there is a whoosh of fur as every other cat in the house hides under something.
But WAIT! All is not lost. Except in my bedroom, where practically everything is lost due to the stacks and piles of boxes and bags. You’re not looking at that, are you? Whew. Okay, back to the point–
Princess: I know! ::runs outside, comes back:: I’m ready! I’ve got it! This is the proper way to hold a cat! ::punching the applause button::
This concludes the 4-H project demonstration portion of our program.