In Case You’re Thinking About Dinner

When I was a little girl, my big brother used to hold me upside down by my ankles over piles of dog doo. Flies would be buzzing over the dung and I would be screaming. I have no idea where my mother was when this was happening. Now he just sends me weird emails. Or maybe he’s serious. I dunno. Here’s his latest–recipe for Boiled Dog Tongue and Rotisserie Dressing. Enjoy!

First, get a dog’s tongue. Any medium to large sized dog will do. If only small dog tongues are available (for example, if you are capturing dogs in a retirement community) count on three small dog tongues to one
large dog tongue. (I buy mine ready to eat sometimes from homeless people. In times past I have purchased jumbo dog tongues, boiled and de-slimed them myself.) Boil and chill dog tongue . Put on a plate of salad – any and everything. Serve dressing.

Rotisserie Dressing:
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup dog testicles blended (can be purchased at vets’ offices)
1/2 cup Wesson oil
1/2 cup chili sauce (to cut down on the “doggy” taste )

Allow one to several days for flavors to meld.

I’ve been making this since 1958….. –G.