The Sex Like Monkeys Test


Take the RSAT Test! (Romance School Admission Test) If there was an admission bar for writing/reading/reviewing romance novels, this is what it would look like:

The steamy, tropical Hot Spot Hotel includes five sultry and luxurious beach bungalows, numbered one through five in a line down the beach. Each bungalow may accommodate up to two lovers. Six people–Cristina, Blade, Raven, Wulf, Lia, and Wyatt–are registered in the bungalows.

* Raven is sharing a bungalow.
* Wulf is not sharing a bungalow and his bungalow is immediately beside an empty one.
* Cristina is not sharing a bungalow with either Blade or Lia.
* Blade is in either the third or fourth bungalow.

1. Which of the following groups could be having sex like monkeys in the second bungalow?

A. Raven only.
B. Cristina and Blade.
C. Raven and Wulf.
D. Wyatt and Cristina.
E. Wyatt, Blade, and Lia.

2. If Blade is experiencing an orgasm in the bungalow immediately behind Raven’s and immediately ahead of Cristina’s, all of the following must be true EXCEPT:

A. Blade is having an orgasm in the fourth bungalow.
B. Lia is having an orgasm in the third bungalow.
C. Cristina is having an orgasm in the fifth bungalow.
D. Raven is having an orgasm in the third bunalow.
E. The first bungalow is empty.

3. Which one of the following statements CANNOT be true?

A. Neither Cristina nor Blade is having an orgasm with a lover. Cristina has a vibrator and Blade has a blow-up doll.
B. Neither Wulf nor Wyatt is having an orgasm with a lover. They both have blow-up dolls.
C. Cristina is having an orgasm with a lover, and Wyatt is having an orgasm with a lover.
D. Blade is having an orgasm with a lover, and Lia is having an orgasm with a lover.
E. Cristina is having an orgasm with a lover, and Blade is having an orgasm with a lover.

4. If Lia is having sex in the second bungalow, how many different combinations of lovers are possible for the third bungalow?

A. one
B. two
C. three
D. four
E. five

5. Assume that a seventh lover is staying with Wyatt in the first bungalow, but that all other rules remain unchanged. Which of the following is a complete and accurate list of the lovers who might be having sex in the fifth bungalow?

A. Wulf
B. Blade, Lia
C. Cristina, Raven, Lia
D. Cristina, Raven, Wulf
E. Cristina, Lia, Raven, Wulf

Answers will be posted tomorrow. How did you do? NOW AREN’T YOU GLAD THERE’S NOT A TEST?

And please visit The Summer of 9 –my latest column at DotMoms!


  1. Michelle says:

    My brain hurts. Too much thinking for this early in the morning!! :shocked:

  2. Mary says:

    Interesting test! I liked the last question.

  3. Biddy says:

    Make the bungalow spinning stop!!! This is how my head now feels :shocked:

  4. Jill says:

    This hurt my brain.

  5. Jaq says:

    This was so wrong of you to post first thing in the morning. :shocked:

  6. Suzanne says:

    LOL! Wake up! :whip:

  7. Melissa Marsh says:

    I used to love to do these types of puzzles in school. But that was then and this is now! 😯

  8. Mary Stella says:

    Did Wyatt leave Boston on a train traveling 65 mph and pass Lia on a motorcycle going 55 mph and, if so, who got to Raven’s bungalow first and is the blow-up doll unisex?:rotfl:

  9. Amy K. says:

    I’m with Melissa…my quiz brain seems to be dead. LOL at Mary Stella. :rotfl:

  10. Alyssa says:

    Oh my gosh! I LOVE these kinds of word games. (Strange, I know.) I’ve printed the questions and will be working on them today. Yay!


  11. Kelly says:

    You lost me at “test”. My brain instantly shuts down. Some sort of reaction that started back in high school. 😉

  12. Tori says:

    I need more caffeine before I even think about reading these questions. But if Wulf is alone in his bungalow, can I keep him company?

  13. Danni says:

    Saw RSATs, thought of my upcoming LSATS, and went into the “rocking in a corner” panic mode.

    Then I saw the word “orgasm” a couple times and snapped out of it! :wigglebrow:

  14. Suzanne says:

    LOL. You guys crack me up!

    Danni, this is a spoof of an actual LSAT question!!!! (Which means I actually have the answers, Alyssa, so I’ll post them tomorrow and you can tell us how you did!) My husband just bought some LSAT prep books because he’s insane and thinks an engineering degree and an MBA aren’t enough.

  15. Danica says:

    I am afraid, I am very afraid… Quick, someone tell me something really shallow so I can continue with my day!

  16. Alyssa says:

    OK, I’m working my way through these. But here’s a question. Are they playing musical bungalows? In other words, is it possible that a different person or people would be in the second bungalow in question #2 than #1?

    This is very serious business.


  17. Suzanne says:

    All right, Alyssa!!!

    All of the originally stated rules for the bungalows are in place except when the question includes an exception to the rules, such as in #5.

  18. Alyssa says:

    Okey dokey. I think I’ve got it. Don’t look if you want to come up with your own answers. (I can’t swear I’m right, but . . .)

    1: D
    2: E
    3: E
    4: D
    5: A

    I sure hope I’m right! Otherwise, I’ll be a bit 😳


  19. ruby55 says:

    Hi, guys.

    My brain doesn’t seem to be working at all today–not even at my supposedly “good” time of the day, evenings and nights.

    We’re in holiday mode here anyway, celebrating Victoria’s birthday. Uh no, not the one of Victoria’s Secret. The one who would have been :shocked: at such questions and the goings-on: Queen Victoria of the 1800s!:talktothehand:

  20. Teresa H says:

    This test makes my head spin!:rotfl: