Best Laid Plans


Dratted calf.

Oh, happy day! A snow day! I set about my whimsical path yesterday morning full of vim and vigor and smirk over how well prepared I was by having gotten the goat pen set up as a temporary milking parlor to which I could bring Beulah Petunia. No milking her outside the pen in the falling snow. Fabulous! I’m a genius.

So first I tied Glory Bee to the corner post of the pen so I could milk mommy before I let the baby finish up. I was getting BP’s feed when I saw that Glory Bee had worked her halter off. Since we loosened the halter, she has periodically figured out how to wriggle out of it under certain circumstances. (Namely, when she’s tied.) The halter was just hanging around her neck. I left her there since at least she was still stuck tied to the leash. I figured I’d take her halter off when I let her go to nurse BP, and I went back to finishing setting up her feed. I turned around and just about fell over when lo and behold THERE WAS BP looking at me over the fence of the goat pen. I mean, why wait for That Woman to come open the gate when you can just barge through the electric fence and come on over?


I pondered whether I should put her back after milking since now she knew she could get out. The wire on the electric fence on the front side of her field is a bit high and it either needs to be lowered or a second wire added to that section. Or else BP is going to make herself at home in the yard and wherever else she wants to go.

Not sure yet what to do about that, I went on and let BP into the pen to milk her. THEN. As if the morning wasn’t full enough, I had just gotten going, with about a quart of milk in the pail, when I realized there was BLOOD ON MY HANDS. I stopped milking immediately, examined BP and the milk. There was no blood in the milk. I couldn’t see any cuts on BP’s teats. I went back up the stairs to the house (the goat pen is under the porch) and washed my hands. There were no cuts on my hands so the blood had absolutely come from BP’s teats. It was very cold last night, so all I can think is that this first dive in temperature had caused a chapping problem and her teats must have been raw, so when I milked her, it caused her to bleed even though no cuts were visible. Of course, I should have gotten–intended to get–udder balm to prepare before this weather. I meant to. I didn’t. (I have udder balm NOW. I immediately placed an “order” with 52 to bring me some because, like, I’m not going down my driveway anytime soon.)

After that series of disturbing events, I went about the rest of the day expecting the sky to fall or something. (It didn’t!)

Meanwhile, BP spent the rest of the day….and the night….and in fact STILL IS in the goat pen with Glory Bee (and yes, I took her halter all the way off).

Which means I’m not getting any milk because Glory Bee doesn’t share.

I also think that the two of them planned this entire thing as soon as I separated them again.


  1. Sheila Z says:

    It’s a devious plot!

    Now you see why commercial dairy farms separate calves at birth from momma. Makes life easier. But you wouldn’t be having half the fun.

  2. Nancy K. says:

    I think I’ll stick to my nice little sheep :sheepjump: :sheep: and pretty chickens! :heart: :chicken:

  3. bonita says:

    awwww shucks, dern ccows

  4. Karen Anne says:

    I can’t get over how beautiful Glory Bee is.

  5. greensborodailyphoto says:

    I think they’re plotting a sequel to your blog called, “farmer in the road.” They’ve got their sights set on your house! Chickens on the couches, cows in the kitchen, goats in the pantry. Mooooooooooooooove over Suzanne!

  6. ellen mcbryde says:

    the Co-conspirators are, to be sure, congratulating one another on a job well done!

  7. Gem says:

    Can picture it all. Right here!

  8. BrendaE says:

    Poor BP – I hope that isn’t painful for her. More painful for you me thinks. That little calf is clever isn’t she.

  9. Hlhohnholz says:

    Although true BagBalm works, so does just plain vaseline. Or lard. Unless you find it oddly offensive to put animal fat on a cow. LOL

  10. Patricia says:

    Is it just me or does GB suddenly look less sweet and more… diabolical?

    “Farmer in the road” that is too funny! I can see Clover blogging daily and making Suzanne wear a tiara

  11. Jersey Lady says:

    Suzanne-I use some stuff called FreezGard that keeps teats from freezing and of course chapping too. It comes in a little plastic pail and is light blue. Great for cows out in the weather. You would need to wipe it off before GB nurses though.Keep a watch on BP’s teat ends. Frozen teat ends turn black.

  12. Ramona says:

    I saw a twinkle in GB’s eyes. Looks like she’s happy the plan worked.

  13. Miss Becky says:

    yeah, it sound like a conspiracy to me. I hope BP is alright, if the blood did come from her. Glory Bee is the most beautiful calf I’ve ever seen. :airkiss: :airkiss: :airkiss:

  14. KentuckyFarmGirl says:

    Did you happen to have 52 stop by the post office for you?? Just asking…….

  15. Joan says:

    I really think you guys need a barn. You could do away with all the shelters all over the place and have everything centralized.

  16. Mymsie says:

    Why do they have to be separated at all?

  17. Karen says:

    LOL…those two are definitely plotting against you!

  18. Enjay says:

    I love that “I think NOT” expression on GB’s face in the last picture lol.
    How many pictures did you have to take to get that one?

  19. texwisgirl says:

    I do love the “farmer in the road” idea – I can so see it happening too as each animals works their own part of the scheme to oust you from the house. 🙂 The dinosaur may be the clincher, and her demon child too. 🙂

  20. whaledancer says:

    Heaven help you, I think you’ve got a smart heifer there.

  21. ann says:

    How can you not love GB face she is so pretty, a wee MiNX at times But oh so pretty as is her Mommy BP.

  22. Linda Zoldoske says:

    That little Glory Bee is really smart – and single-minded! Enjoyed the post!

  23. Lisabeth Olson says:

    YOu know lady I have to tell you, you are a PALLET WONDER! I see some real inventive work with pallets all over your place. I am not amazed, however, as you are very cagey also. Got those two together in the goat pen and you didn’t even have to go get BP. They only thought they were ahead of you, and all the time you had it planned like that. :cowsleep:

  24. Jersey Lady says:

    Mymsie-Suzanne says when she leaves GB with BP all the time, there is no milk left for use in the house.

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