Morgan has a new boyfriend. This is news because I didn’t like the last one. Morgan lives to torment me. Please be impressed that I didn’t put boyfriend in quotation marks. I think that is a huge step in my development as a person and a mother, signifying my acceptance that Morgan is almost 17 and actually HAS boyfriends. I really like this one, but don’t tell him. He thinks I don’t like him, so he is trying to please me. He thinks I don’t like him because he is too old for Morgan. Since his strategy to try to get me to like him involves bringing me firewood, I want him to think I don’t like him for as long as possible. Maybe till spring.
I’m always very friendly to him, so I’m not sure why he thinks I don’t like him. Except, of course, that he’s too old for Morgan. And he knows that. And he feels guilty for being too old for Morgan. So he chops firewood–nice long-burning hardwood–on his family’s farm and brings it to me by the truckload. Which I like. It’s a real conundrum all around!
He’s respectful of Morgan, and he’s a nice boy with a respectable job. And, obviously, he’s intelligent. (Evidence: The firewood.) He’s 22. Which is WAY TOO OLD FOR MORGAN. I’m keeping an eye on the situation. And my firewood.
You can see how difficult this is for me!
Aww he’s cute! She’s so excited! Does he have a older brother? Sarah needs a bf. maybe I need Sarah to get a bf more than she wants one.
How’s the preggers cows? Sarah’s bugging me for a cow now. Thanks a lot Suzanne. Something else to slip in the yard. :cowsleep:
On November 18, 2012 at 2:50 am
Sheila Z says:
Cute, redhead and firewood too!…. that is a tough one to resist. I hope Morgan never forgets that education comes first. Good thing Morgan’s Dad and brothers are going to be around for Thanksgiving, that should make any boyfriend a bit nervous.
On November 18, 2012 at 6:37 am
Is this bf Ross’s age? If so, Morgan may not recognize the age difference for what it is. Of course, I’m sure you’ve mentioned it to her. . . !
On November 18, 2012 at 6:52 am
Suzanne McMinn says:
He is a year OLDER than Ross! And he graduated high school a year ahead of Ross.
On November 18, 2012 at 6:58 am
Four years won’t matter in a few more years, but right now, yeah, I would be very watchful. I hope Ross knows him and can give you some input on him…..I think the way you have raised Morgan, things will be fine. In the meantime, enjoy the firewood!
On November 18, 2012 at 7:06 am
You are mom and you know what is best. Its a bit of a worry but boys and girls and relationships are always a worry anyways. Nice he is kissing your mom butt with fire wood. 🙂 hehe. I would be taking that chance to get to know him and his intentions toward my daughter. hehe.
My daughter who is 18 has a boyfriend that is afraid of us. Not sure if he should enter the house at times. lol. I kind of feel bad for the kid. He is a nice kid and is very respectful of my daughter. Just not sure of us parents yet. Its ok it will keep him on his toes.
On November 18, 2012 at 7:26 am
I think you should let Morgan’s brother set up the fire wall
My son took his sisters to his college activities with these guide lines. “Remember this is not your girlfriend this is my sister.”
On November 18, 2012 at 8:48 am
Leck Kill Farm says:
From age 16 to 18, I dated a guy 5 years older. He was a really, really nice guy and was into sports so I still went to all my school activities. Also I was friends with his younger cousins so there was a bridge, so to speak, for the age gap.
The downside, if there was one, is that I did live “older” than I probably should have. I was going to bars, going on overnight trips wtih him, staying at his house over the weekends and generally acting like a 22 yo when I was a junior in high school. My parents had no problem with the situation. In hingsight, I wish they would have set more boundaries. I think they liked him and considered me “safe” with him, a better alternative than others I had dated.
His vision of the future was that we would get engaged when I went to college, get married and I could commute to finish my degree. My vision of the future was frat parties. We broke up as soon as I went to college.
On November 18, 2012 at 9:16 am
lifeisgood/ Melinda says:
My youngest daughter is in a relationship with a guy 6 years older than her. They started dating when she was barely 18 and I was NOT a happy camper! He ended up being the best thing that ever happened to her and they are still together almost four years later. I think it has to do more with how he treats Morgan and if he is respectful than what some birth certificate says. A little healthy fear of mama doesn’t hurt though!! lol
On November 18, 2012 at 9:38 am
Well, yeah, you’re probably right. You remind me of MY mom when I was 17 and met a 21 YO who wanted to date me – she wasn’t having it! But I was a flighty 17 YO, and I get the feeling that Morgan is basically a very responsible young woman. As another commenter indicated, Ross can take care of the boyfriend! In fact, I’m sure both Ross and Weston can put the fear of God in anyone who wants to date Morgan for very long. I had no brothers to stand up for me, only a younger sister. Regardless, a very Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!!!
On November 18, 2012 at 9:43 am
Best thing is she’s bringing him around. Having doors open means better things for all involved, but it’s still good for a young man to be cautious and respectful of a girl’s family. It’s also good that he brings firewood to help him get a foot in the door! That he’s interested in the Princess speaks well for his intelligence, that he is being helpful to you with firewood is also a good sign! You raised a smart girl who knows you are a smart mom.
On November 18, 2012 at 9:57 am
I realize Morgan is only 16 years old. A boyfriend who is 6 years older IS a concern.
Just wanted to tell you when I was 18 I met a man who was 10 years my senior. My parents were NOT happy that I was dating a man who was 28.
“Why can’t he find someone his own age?” said my dad. “If it doesn’t bother Kessala, it doesn’t bother us!” said my mom.
My older boyfriend has been my husband for 41 years.
On November 18, 2012 at 9:57 am
Did you ask him if he knows anything about cows?
On November 18, 2012 at 10:20 am
Suzanne McMinn says:
OHMYGOD, Tonya! I must do this the next time I see him! Maybe he will stick his arm in a cow for me. Even if doesn’t know anything about them!
On November 18, 2012 at 10:33 am
Guys mature so much slower that I always figured that young men at 3 years older MIGHT be close to a maturity match, but that varies (sorry fellas but it’s true). Several advantages to this bf being older, including that he’s not a new, inexperienced driver. Employed and HS Grad is good too. Go Morgan :heart:
On November 18, 2012 at 10:35 am
Poor Morgan. Nothing like having your budding relationship analyzed and overseen by the greater Internet Aunties Society.
On November 18, 2012 at 10:39 am
omg…22 is way too old for morgan! but 22 is not too young for this 47 year old…send him on down, but tell him NOT to forget the truck load of firewood! =o)
On November 18, 2012 at 10:40 am
Hahaha! Cows!! Poor boy, but maybe he could know about cows. :moo:
He’s a cute ginger who’s trying to please Mama. Good effort, so far so good. Seems he has a lot of good qualities, most important he treats Morgan well.
On November 18, 2012 at 11:05 am
Tonya and Rah, thanks for my first hearty laugh of today!
I know this is nothing like the same thing, but I was always fascinated after learning that my maternal grandmother was six years older than my grandfather. She taught him in school! She said he was one of the big boys in the back of the classroom. Those were the days of one-room school houses. Suzanne, you have my sympathy while rearing a daughter. We have two. Never any problems, but still I remember the relief once they were married.
On November 18, 2012 at 11:08 am
A friend of mine has four daughters. I have one son. I used to tell her that I had to worry about ONE boy, and that she had to worry about ALL boys! Just remind him that you have 100 acres of land – a person might get lost and never be found out there! :))
On November 18, 2012 at 11:23 am
If he does put his arm up the cow, please, PLEASE TAKE PICTURES!
On November 18, 2012 at 11:29 am
California Paintbrush says:
There is 6 years between DH and me. We knew each other all our lives. I was engaged at 17, married at 18. 4 kids, 9 grandkids later we celebrated our 50th this year. Only 50 years later when health problems are showing up is it harder…like trying to keep him from going up on ladders, etc! We never had problems because of the age difference. You want the guy to have more maturity, I think. I don’t recommend early marriage now, but times were different then. Good luck to all of you! And just keep him a little nervous!
On November 18, 2012 at 11:31 am
Sorry, I’m a Mom and I’m kinda with Morgan on this one. Less you think this a flighty teenager writing, I just retired this year and am on Social Security now and working part time. Okay, high school graduate(graduated a year ahead of Ross), has a job (nice boy with a respectable job), has to be down-to-earth (Cuts wood on his family farm), knows about farming (in theory since “family farm”), knows about basic necessities of life (providing wood in the winter for heat), sounds like a really well grounded young man. Age difference–my hubby of 39 years is 10 years older than me! They said it would never work…..It is working! My only question is what is his temperment/attitude? That is huge in my opinion!! and the only thing you really didn’t mention. Sulky, angry young men out. Cheerful, thoughtful young men in. Just saying.
On November 18, 2012 at 11:32 am
Hee hee hee, I really like Rah’s comment!
Suzanne, you seem to be a great mom. And Morgan seems to have a level head. But, all said, it’s good he’s afraid of you. And let us know if he checks your cow! 😆
On November 18, 2012 at 11:52 am
So hard to be a mom of a 16 year old. You need to let them start making their own decisions, while wanting to give them the benefit of your experience and protect them from real harm. It’s a wonder anyone survives parenting a teenager. But Morgan seems like a pretty level-headed, well grounded young woman. You’ve done well with her and I’m sure will continue to. But it is reassuring that she’s got two older brothers watching out for her as well.
On November 18, 2012 at 12:03 pm
I.m a mom and there is no way in he– my 16 year old child would ever be allowed to even look at a 22 year old MAN! Mom.open your eyes. You are the adult in this situation. Firewood or not. I say no no no….
On November 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm
When I was in 8th grade and then again in early high school I had a couple of significantly older guys hit on me and I thought they were terribly creepy losers :shocked: . However, now my boyfriend is four or five years older(I forget these things) but he isn’t creepy or a loser. I don’t think? I guess I’m saying that you can tell when a guy is a good guy but there’s an age difference, and when something is off with a guy liking a girl of a certain age.
On November 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm
I have to be the Mom that gives you a flip side. My daughter did start to date an older gy without us knowing at 15. The dated, he respected her and they decided to get married in 2000 because it was a millenial year, instead of waiting till 2001 when she would have been of age. They loved each other so much. I am grateful I allowed her the experiences even tho it was at such a young age because out of the blue a drunk illegal mexican ran her car over with a SUV. She was driving over to visit us and then to see her husband at his dinner break, he worked a mile from us. Well this drunk has left her in a vegatative state for the past 9 years. Our great USA protected his rights and he ran from the prosecution day and was on the loose for 8 years, he ran back to Mexico, I pray he never hurt anyone else. He is now in a Mexican jail thanks to our prosecuter who never gave up and traacked him for 8 years. My point is my daughter Christina was able to experience life more so than may her age would have been if I did not allow her to do. She daated, she married (3 years before the accident), she became a profection drag racer, she was in college to become a teacher, she worked full time all before her 21st birthday. Try to guide them but allow some enjoyment because you never know what is around the corner.
On November 18, 2012 at 1:46 pm
LOL @ Tonya and Rah’s comments!
Free firewood is nice. Especially when they cut it for you AND deliver it. (I am so jealous. LOL.) I know sometimes we are skeptical about real honest guys these days, but it sounds like he’s got a good head on his shoulders.
On November 18, 2012 at 2:35 pm
this is one of those areas in life where we mothers have no control. we can’t choose their friends or keep them locked up. we have to trust them to make the right decisions even when they aren’t the ones we want them to make. some of us have made dumb mistakes and managed to muddle through and you know she’s a strong girl so she’ll make it. you know you raised her right and now the rest is up to her. the fact that she brings him home and doesn’t hide him is a good sign of her maturity.
On November 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm
Miss Judy says:
My Dad was 23 and my mom 16 when they started dating…they were married 56 years when he died of a heart attack. Yes things are different now than all those years ago back in the 1940’s.But that being said, people still thought there was a big maturity gap…every swore it wouldn’t work because Mom was so much more mature.LOL
Morgan and bf are not going behind your back…you know the age difference and THEY know YOU know 🙂
BTW how many young girls have had their heart broken and their lives messed up by a boy who was a high school senior?
On November 18, 2012 at 5:54 pm
LOL… I think you should put him on cow duty :cowsleep:
On November 18, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Gma Judy says:
The question is, what is a 22 year old doing with a 16 year old? If It were my child I would definitely
look into his background. Does he normally date younger girls? I raised 2 girls and 2 boys. I recognize that I was very lucky and had few issues to worry about. And now my grandchildren are marrying and I am expecting my first great grandchild. I have been very fortunate and I wish the same for you. Just keep a close eye on things and rely on your intuition.
On November 18, 2012 at 8:33 pm
Jane L says:
This was such an amusing post… not half because some of the comments! Oh, and Morgan – yea you! He is too cute!!
On November 19, 2012 at 2:17 am
Well, it has been 38 years, but I remember my 22 year old self (1974 ). Viet Nam was almost over and I had just served 4 years in the Air Force. I also remember what was on my mind most of the time in regards to girls and it wasn’t a house with a white picket fence. However, these thoughts did not include 16 year old kids. Maybe the maturity level was higher back then. A 30 year old and a 24 year old? Yes. A 22 year old and a 16 year old? Not in my book.
On November 19, 2012 at 7:42 am
LOL! You are too funny! This actually made me laugh out loud… I agree that you need to keep an eye on the situation, but in a few years, that difference in age will not matter.. I am 6 years older than my husband and so far (nearly 18 years) it has not bothered us. Plus, he is cute and HELPFUL!!!… You can NEVER have too many of them around!
On November 19, 2012 at 9:47 am
My daughter is going with someone 14 yrs. older – I believe I mentioned this when it first happened. It’s been over 6 years now so although I’m not thrilled with the age difference, they get along very well. There’s just no perfect formula. They all should be tall, handsome and rich lol.
On November 25, 2012 at 6:54 pm