The Pie Effect


I wondered in this post what happens to the leftover pie when the meal plans were constructed for a family of five. Traditionally, a pie is cut in eight slices. A reader commented pointing out that the pie in the above photo was neatly divided in five slices. Well, whaddya know, it IS. I hadn’t noticed that. Wow, those are BIG slices.

Which then begs the question, what if there are four kids instead of three? Or six? Or seven? When one dessert is planned per supper and must be divided according to the number in the family (to stick strictly to the meal plans!), that would have an increasingly negative effect on dessert.

Ross was two years old when Weston was born. One day soon after Weston had started crawling, I went to the back of the house to do something after setting the children in front of Barney the babysitter on TV. When I returned, there was Ross, merrily enjoying Barney, but no Weston. And the door to the deck was open. At the time, we lived on a lake in Texas. I rescued Weston halfway from the house to the shore. (After this incident, we placed a lock at the top of all the doors.) After bringing Weston back to the house, I asked Ross WHY he had opened the door and let Weston crawl out.

Ross said, “He doesn’t want to live here anymore.”


A few months after Morgan was born, I had all three children in the living room while I was cooking in the kitchen. This was an open concept house, so I could see into the living room (pretty much, furniture blocking the view partially) and hear them, but even so by the time I went back into the living room Weston had managed to pile several baby blankets on top of Morgan in an attempt to smother her.

Morgan’s homicidal tendencies have never been tested since she was the last one, but it’s clear no child is really enthusiastic about a new addition to the family that takes them out of their “baby” spot.

And you know why. It’s the pie effect!!! And it’s all Meta Given’s fault!


  1. ibpallets (Sharon B.) says:

    Your kids were a handful from an early age, I see.
    😆 Too funny about Weston not wanting to live there anymore.

    You know all of this will come back to bite them when they have children- it’s the mother’s curse– it’s real…LOL

  2. BuckeyeGirl says:

    So…. Ross tried to get Weston out of the picture, Weston tried to do in Morgan, I’m thinking you better be VERRRRRRY careful when you hit those ‘golden’ years Suzanne! 😆

  3. ncastlen says:

    Many years ago a young couple came into my office with their little girl and her newborn brother. Sadly, the parents were clearly obsessed with the baby boy to the point of telling the little girl to go sit down and be quiet when she tried to get their attention. One of my co-workers asked the little girl how she liked the new baby and the girl replied “I want to leave him in a ditch.” It was so hard to keep a straight face.

    (And no, I’m not implying that Suzanne’s older children were in any way neglected in favor of the newer arrivals to the point of causing them mental trauma and a subconscious desire to get rid of the interlopers. :?)

  4. Faith says:

    BuckeyeGirl, too funny!! But then they would have to make their own pie…


  5. ataylor says:

    I guess I will need to start baking extra pies when the baby comes. Lol!

  6. saitisntso says:

    Our pie rules are as follows: First person to want pie must ask everyone in house if they want pie and how big of piece. That person then will cut the pie and serve us our pie. Then it’s anyone’s pie from the early bird to the night owl. Most times, there will always be one piece left of pie and everything. My two sons and I apparently don’t want to be that person that eats the last of anything. :moo:

  7. ibpallets (Sharon B.) says:

    Faith, that wouldn’t bother Morgan in the least, she HATES pie. At the retreat back in May, Suzanne had these wonderful from scratch pies with homemade ice-cream. Morgan would eat the ice-cream– she told me she HATES pie! LOL

Add Your Thoughts