Then They Tried to Steal My Batteries


Yesterday, Morgan and I had a girls’ afternoon out. We went to The Big City (Charleston). I took her shopping for running shoes (she starts track tomorrow) and out to lunch. We ate at Soho’s at the Capital Market, which is one of her favorite restaurants that we hardly ever go to because we are hardly ever out of the holler. She loves the waiter there. His name is Clifford. He used to play football so he talks to Morgan about sports and she likes to hug him when we leave. And even though we hadn’t been there for a year, he remembered Morgan and she even showed him that she still had the photo on her phone she took with him the last time we were there. Anyway, I love Soho’s–the food is delicious and I don’t even have to cook it, which is nice sometimes. Then she got her track shoes and we headed home. I stopped at K-Mart on the way to pick up a few things and on the way out, the door beeped on me.

The lady at the customer service desk ran out to tackle my thieving hide. She took my bag. I handed over the receipt and said, “I’m innocent, Officer!” She set my bag behind the customer service desk and told me to walk through the door again. It beeped, determining that the Stolen (!) item must be on me or in my purse, not in my shopping bag. She made me go behind the counter for a minute and run my boots, one at a time, over some device on the floor. She said usually it was something about people’s shoes that made the door beep. My boots didn’t make the machine beep. Then she took my purse and waved it through the door. My purse beeped. I said, “Feel free to search it!” She asked me if I had anything “odd” in my purse. I said, “Just my wallet and my cell phone. Oh, and some batteries.”

She made me take the batteries out of my purse. It was an opened package. I’d already used some of the batteries. She waved the package of batteries through the door and the package beeped. She marched off behind the customer service desk with my batteries. I said, “I bought those batteries at Wal-Mart!” She said, “Do you have your receipt?” Uh no……… “I bought those batteries a month ago!”

She said, “They didn’t beep when you came in. WHY IS THAT?!”

I said, “I don’t know, but you’re not stealing my batteries!!!”

I don’t know if it was just the ridiculousness that I would be stealing a package of batteries having opened the package and dumped half of them out first, or if it was just the crazy look in my eyes when I said, “You’re not stealing my batteries!!!” But she gave me back my batteries.

And Soho’s or no Soho’s, I’d better stay in the holler. It’s a crazy world out there!


  1. Will says:

    Call Jodie Foster and I bet she makes a movie out of it, “Your NOT stealing my Batteries!” you’ll be rich!

  2. CATRAY44 says:

    I am glad you prevailed! Craziness!

  3. Leslie says:

    It IS a crazy world out there and I live in a very big city….I LOVE to stay home where I am safe and sound (so far) and not have to deal with the craziness out there…I only go out when I absolutely have to! ALL that for an opened package of batteries!!!

  4. CindyP says:

    LOL! Those big cities scare me now, too. I like my peaceful little town.

  5. Diane says:

    That is crazy!!! Was she having a bad day or what?? Geeze.

  6. Ladychef says:

    Heehee! That is just TOO funny! Sounds like something that would happen to me or my sis on our weekly shopping excursions!

  7. B. Ruth says:

    That is scary!…Many a time I have bought pens or camera batteries and just grabbed one on the way out the door or while in the car dropped it in my purse…still in the store boughten’ package!…I certainly did not think to put the receipt with it either!…I would hate to have to pay to retain a lawyer, nowadays upfront money, just to fight off an unopened, legally purchased pen in my purse because the reciept went out with the paper coffee cup, napkin, etc. in the car trash bag…
    There should be a better system! How about the check-out-scanner marking every item purchased with a laser marker when scanned…that would eliminate having to keep or carry receipts altogether…so then every purchase would be marked “legal purchase” forever! Problem solved…why ain’t I rich!!
    I know there are a few gliches to be worked out etc..LOL

  8. I Wanna Farm says:

    That’s hilarious! I’m glad she saw reason! lol About the shoe thing though, this winter a few times when we walked into some stores, the alarm would beep, and on the way out too. Finally, at Lowe’s, my son set the alarm off wandering around the doors while my husband paid. He explained that had been happening a lot and she told him to take off his shoes and wave them past, that it was usually the left one. It was! She put it on the de-magnetizer and it beeped like it had a security tag on it! She said that in the winter the static can build up in your shoes if you tend to shuffle your feet, which he does. I had never heard that before. lol

  9. Patricialynn says:

    For some reason, this always happens to me at the library – nowhere else. But every time I walk into or out of the library, it beeps like mad.

    The librarians have gotten used to it. They look up at the beep, go “Oh! It’s you.” and wave me on. I think it’s pretty amazing that I get such small-town recognition at one of the biggest libraries in the Chicago area.

  10. prayingpup says:

    Oh my – that’s crazy! I go to town once a month . . . and thet’s plenty for me! And our town is only 15,000! B.Ruth – I love your idea. . . . you COULD be rich!

  11. Cinderbama says:

    I work in a library. It’s hilarious what kinds of items folks put in their bags that will set off the alarms. That saleswoman must have felt so smug thinking she had finally justified her existence! I know you must have felt frustrated, but look at it this way: the shopping experience was a success because we moms all know you have to embarrass your teenager at least once when you are out together in public or there is something wrong with the relationship! LOL

  12. paul says:

    this has happen to me at the same kmart you must look like a thief. They just tell me to go on? (sorry) Maybe it was the way you dressed that day? Did you have your barn (muck) boots on with mud an cow, goat an chicken stuff on the sides? Your hoodie pulled up over your head? Dead give away that you don’t get out of the holler very often….They have to watch people like us in the big city of Elkview, WV.. Just a little bit of a ribbing… have a good day 😆

  13. texwisgirl says:

    I had a Walmart person try to keep my driver’s license once because they thought I had stolen it. 1) I had written my newly married name out in full on the i.d. but had gotten tired of the length of a hyphenated name so now my signature was like a doctor’s. 2) I had lost weight since the photo had been taken so they didn’t believe it was really me. I had to wait more than 30 minutes and get very adamament with them before they finally returned it to me – at which point I told them to keep their merchandise.

  14. Kelly A says:

    My husband was setting off alarms all over the mall one day. We at one point had him pass everything over to me that was in his pockets and walk through by myself. Some magic resulting from tissues, dental floss, and his coat set them off because seperately none of the things went off. it was an annoying day

  15. joycee says:

    Kmart, don’t get me started! :hissyfit: That could have ruined the whole day if you had let it….better to just report it as it happened and let us all decide shopping at Kmart is not a good thing…even though Martha says so!

  16. Nancy Stickler says:

    hahaha! One summer I set off alarms every store I went in or out of! I was beginning to think someone had planted an anti-theft device in my head! When I went to change purses I discovered a small bumper sticker in one of the pouches that had the sticker on it. I wondered why it didn’t go off at the store I purchased it?!

  17. Linda Goble says:

    I worked at a Kmart before and you are not allowed to do a strip search. If nothing in package then you had to let them go. I would check into that. I can’t believe you had to take your boots off. Glad you were able to keep your batteries.

  18. Karo says:

    Hmmm. Here in Dallas the store personnel pretty much ignore those alarms.

  19. Rituparna says:

    I just love there small stories that you put here. Can I make a suggestion… Can U add a like button with all your posts. That would be so good.

  20. Carmen C. says:

    That’s terrible! Almost like me getting a ticket in town this morning because I put money in the meter BUT the meter was not working! I hate “going out”!

  21. Elaine says:

    I feel ya Suzanne…I had problems with a ‘beeping” purse for months–finally traced it to a “bug” on an ID card in a wallet I had purchased–at Walmart–that they had not removed! I hate city life …..and I live here, in the ‘hood”. I pray for a country home and acres!

  22. Nancy in Iowa says:

    Next time you leave the holler to shop in the big city, take Clover with you. She’ll knock some sense into the checkout staff!!!

  23. amy says:

    That’s K-mart for ya’! It’s no wonder so many of their stores have closed, their customer service is terrible.

    I have yet to enter a K-mart that gave me a warm fuzzy feeling! LOL

  24. Myrna Mackenzie says:

    Suzanne, how annoying about the battery search!

    Oh, and I hope Morgan enjoys track. With 2 sons who were/are both runners, I’ve spent a lot of time at track meets (they’re very long, and you spend a lot of time waiting for your kid’s event. Even so, I miss them now that they’re over. Go figure). Does she know what events she’s interested in (sprinting, longer distance or field events such as pole vault or jumping)? Bring reading material or crocheting to the meets. You’ll have lots of time to get things done.

  25. Katharina says:

    They treated you wrongly. Write corporate K-Mart and complain. I’ve seen people steal stuff and RUN out the door. No one chases them down, while paying customers get the shake down and interrogation. (It is not your responsibility to explain why their security system picked up the battery package on the way out and not on the way in.) I would write corporate K-Mart. I would expect an apology.

  26. Barbara T says:

    Talk about a shoe experience; a friend of mine went through the TSA line at the airport. She had on the shoes she normally wears at the horse barn because they were comfortable. They pulled her out of line and began grilling her about the fertilizer on her shoes – basically treating her as if she were a bomb maker! One TSA dude was getting pretty nasty when she kept saying “But I have a horse. I wear these at the barn.” Finally the TSA lady looked at him and said something akin to, “Stupid, horse manure… “. He finally grumpily (is that a word?) agreed she could go to the gate.

  27. marymac says:

    They’re out to GETCHA!! That’s why I stay home, lol.

  28. Lisabeth Olson says:

    When I moved back from Alaska in 2007 I got patted down because I bought my ticket with cash the same day I flew. I had had a nervous breakdown and all I wanted was to go home to Oregon.

  29. Sheila says:

    I had a similar experience at a airport some years back , my family and I were going back to spfld Ill for hubbys grandfathers funeral and when we had to put our stuff in the exray machine , they stopped it when my purse went through and had to rerun it twice , then they asked me what was in my purse , of course I’d forgotten that I had stuck my sons gameboy in there but it was a roll of nickles that I had put in there that had them concerned , then they made me dump out my purse and give it back to them so they could run it again and make sure there was nothing else in there , of course after that , I opened the nickles and put them in my change purse , and then had to deal with having my purse searched and my hubby and I thourghly searched at the next two airports , talk about a pain in the rear :hissyfit: .

  30. kellyb says:


    You should have told them it was your magnetic personality that was setting off their beepers.

  31. lavenderblue says:

    So I say we all pick a day, stuff our pocketbooks with half used packages of batteries, run madly back and forth through all available K-Marts shouting “Stringtown Rising, Stringtown Rising! Free Suzanne, Free Suzanne!”

    We could make matching T-shirts and get together later to sing protest songs.

    Sorry, I am a child of the ’50’s/’60’s. I got a little carried away.

  32. SarahGrace says:

    I can’t remember the last time I stopped when I set off an alarm when leaving a store. I just keep walking. Even if they call me back, I usually respond with, “Sorry, I don’t have time.” Most stores tell the people at the doors that they are not to chase anyone down. That is for the security personnel to do.

  33. Runningtrails says:

    I’d be peeved at their attitude too. I can understand stopping you and asking you about it, but to treat you like you were the one in the wrong, is wrong.

  34. Leanna says:

    How funny…glad you know we didn’t have to take up a collection to bail you and Morgan out!

  35. Ramona says:

    I’ve stopped shopping at stores for less than that incident.

  36. princessvanessa says:

    I’m with you, Ramona. Now that I am well over the age of 50 I don’t put up with very much “manure” from store employees. There’s always another store, just down the block, where the store staff cheerfully treat their customers right.

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