Growing Glades


Monocotyledonous green plants of the family Gramineae, commonly known as grass, are grown in the United States and other countries for pastures and lawns. There are numerous types of grasses, developed for different purposes and adaptations, but it is grasses of the lawn variety that overtake hearts and minds, creating work and worry, in springtime. The ironic thing about these grasses is that they are grown on purpose.
After deliberating cultivating these plants, homeowners spend countless hours cutting them down.
The history of this practice is lost in the mists of time, but most researchers agree it was inspired by English glades, or openings in the woods. The earliest examples of artificial stretches of open grass can be found around medieval castles where such openings allowed uninhibited views for protective purposes.
Later, these stretches became a sign of wealth.
Eventually, even the poorest of the poor sought such stretches, in the same way we purchase designer knock-offs on our Wal-Mart budgets. To increase challenge, weeds invade lawns, creating havoc for “glade keepers” everywhere of every stripe.
Beginning in April in most areas, and continuing through the fall, homeowners exhaust themselves expending time, money, and effort to keep “artificial glades” under control as that which is cultivated on purpose threatens to riot, leaving our “castles” with no protection and subject to the disdain of our neighbors.
“The best advice we can give people at this time,” stated Norton Powers, a spokesperson for the U.S. Glade Keepers Society, “is to start mowing.”

Or, you know, hire a couple teenagers to do it for you.


  1. GA_in_GA says:

    The ‘guys’ will be here on Monday. :yes:

  2. BuckeyeGirl says:

    Well, in those early days when wealthy English landowners had those glades, they’d turn sheep out to keep the grass mowed. You could keep up with those English Lords of the Manor!

  3. Pam full of joy says:

    I’ve determined that this is the last year I will have grass in my yard. There is nothing about it that is attractive to me, especially the upkeep. Ugh. Love gardens, gardening. :sun: Lawn, lawn upkeep. Not so much. :no:

  4. Snapper119 says:

    I’m thinking Casper is wishing he could ‘blow’ in picture #2, lol!

  5. Rainn says:

    Funny post! And very appropriate for me— I determined after reading the blog all winter–grow food not lawn– that we would no longer have ANY lawn!!!! Well on my way to veggies no lawn!!! :snoopy: :snoopy:

  6. Joell says:

    I dont mind mowing, I enjoy it except when it get very hot, we have about an acre and a half of lawn to mow, a few years back a friend starting fertilizing it for us and now the grass is beautiful and lush, but we have to mow it every 3 days to keep it under control, that take a lot of time not to mention the cost of gas, I am thinking about borrowing a few goats from the farm down the road, it would be cheaper—and quieter 😉

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