Growing Snow

Dec
6


Snow, genus Flakius formus, is an icy, perennial crop made up of microscopic frozen cloud droplets known as snowflakes, which come in a variety of sizes and in complex shapes. Every snowflake is different. Beginning in November or December in most areas of the United States and generally continuing through March, the snowy white “blossoms” appear right out of the sky, filling barren gardens with new life, albeit frozen. Unlike other garden crops, snow grows downward toward the ground rather than up out of it.

While snow is one of the easiest crops to develop in any garden, requiring only good cloud cover and cold temperatures, it does form a threat to trees, livestock, and humans due to its invasive nature.

It readily intrudes upon roadways and pastures and, when particularly wet and heavy, breaks branches and even fells entire trees.

Snow was introduced to the United States some years ago in response to winter-time droughts, as a way to preserve water. Cloud “seed” was provided to landowners free of charge under the label “Wonderland” and snow was planted along major thoroughfares as well as in farmers’ fields and gardens. Its tenacious and sometimes unstoppable growth has since caused it to be deemed a noxious weed by numerous states. Efforts to manage snow with plows and salt have had mixed results and aren’t always available, particularly in rural areas, despite the millions of dollars spent annually by government agencies and departments devoted to countering the wintry threat. Application of heat has been found to be the most effective measure to inhibit snow, but can’t be provided to most areas until April.

Biological control is not yet available, but researchers continue to investigate the issue even as some homeowners find themselves completely trapped by the burgeoning icy mass growing out of their gardens and taking over their homes, driveways, and yards.

“The best advice the government can give people at this time,” stated Milton Fleur, a scientist with the U.S. Snow Laboratory, “is to start shoveling.”

Comments

  1. LeaAnn says:

    Clever. Very Clever.

  2. Ramona says:

    You must have lured them out with cookies.

    What’s that silver pipe on the side of your house?

  3. texwisgirl says:

    Poor cold-footed rooster! And little goats begging for frozen cookies! 🙂

  4. mammaleigh says:

    You can keep it all to your self…unless you can just send 1 days worth on a weekend! :yes:

  5. Su says:

    Even Giant puppy is seeking shelter! It must be very cold!

    I lvoe the goats…they definitely need more cookies to survive snow. :pawprint:

  6. CasieD says:

    Ha… you’ve got more snow there than I do in central Wisconsin! But not for long I don’t think.

  7. KentuckyFarmGirl says:

    That pipe through the window is exactly the idea I needed!!! We’ve been wanting to put a little wood stove in our loft for back up heat just in case but we didn’t want to go through the roof with the pipe. We have a big window up there and it would work great!

  8. Elaine S. says:

    What a great post!

  9. whaledancer says:

    Looks like you’ve got the start of good crop this year.

    Honestly, any of those pictures wood make a good Christmas card, especially the one of the bird feeder.

  10. Mary says:

    Very nicely done! Clever.

  11. Lisabeth Olson says:

    Suzanne, there is a PLUS to the white stuff. It will KILL some unwanted bugs that can take over the garden in the summer.
    I love to look at it at your house, PLEASE KEEP IT!!!! :moo:

  12. Jane says:

    I have to admit, as much as I was feeling for that snow yesterday, our temp dropped down today (it’s now 64 in my house.. so colder outside), and I am just a teensy bit chilly;) It also looks like it’s very wet and heavy which isn’t so fun. I do love crisp and crunchy snow on a sunlit day though.. There is no better day than that.

  13. Dena Martin says:

    Thank you for your informative post today. Do your goats get quite vocal when it is snowing? Ours do. The moment they hear us come out of the house, they begin to protest. LOL

  14. B. Ruth says:

    As for the bugs……….?
    I’d say the wooly bear is belly-up somewhere!.. Serves him right, the little “all black-coated evil predictor” of a long winter!!!

  15. Nancy in Iowa says:

    We’ve got the cold – 20 right now – but I’m still waiting for a real snow! You can send some here as I’m ready for it. What does GB think of her first snow?

    Your story is hilarious! I kept thinking of white Kudzu!!!

  16. bonita says:

    A mutant strain of Flakius formus, black ice (Glacies niger), accompanied the snow here. Caused a 25-car crash!

  17. Martha in KS says:

    Next thing you know it will be raining men. (Hallelujah!)

  18. Clarissa says:

    You have the most entertaining way to write your stories! :yes:

  19. SophannE says:

    I love your blog.

  20. BuckeyeGirl says:

    We’ve got a GREAT crop of snow in NE Ohio! It’s an early crop too!

  21. Suzanne Perry says:

    Thanks for the smile today!

  22. Leesa says:

    Believe it or not some of us ENVY you your crop of snow! We have been watching the news, hoping for an encouraging snow filled forecast for 2 weeks, so far nothing 🙁

  23. Eunice Moore says:

    Snow has yet to sprout here in the Front Range. The high country has a crop going well which makes the skiers happy. If you would like to share some of your snow perhaps we can get a good crop going. Maybe we just need better seeds. Love today’s post.

    Euni in Colorado

  24. Daria says:

    Thank you for this great laugh – our snow crop shot up about 5 inches yesterday.

  25. Cousin Sheryl says:

    You are a lovable nut!

  26. JeannieB says:

    Even though it’s cold here in SC (19 last night), we don’t have any of that white stuff, and I don’t want any!!

  27. sally says:

    And me in cold New Hampshire living in a snow drought

  28. Becky says:

    BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  29. lyzcollins says:

    We’ve had our first bumper crop of snow here in Rochester thanks to the lake effect from Lake Ontario. Temperatures in the teens and below zero give the crop a nice crusty look.

  30. colormyponys says:

    EXCELLENT! This one is worthy of some fancy Winter resort mag!

    Wish I’d have thought of the subject before as I can never “write up to” (like live up to) the quality you graced your blog with! I love to blog but do envy (in a good way) your style find inspiration too!

    Thank you!!!

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