Everybody Dies Famous in a Small Town


I’ve been asked to be one of the honorary grand marshals in this October’s Black Walnut Festival parade. I’ll have to ride on a float. And, like, wave. At people. A lot of people. I said, “Okay, that sounds like fun.” What was I thinking? Was I possessed by a demon? Temporarily insane? I can’t do that! I’ll feel like an idiot. I’ll miss the chance to sit in the upstairs window of my cousin’s office and eat funnel cake while I watch the parade with my family. I’ll have to wear pants. The list of reasons I can’t do this goes on and on.

Clover said she’d take my place if I buy her a tiara.

Think anyone will notice the difference?


  1. robin says:

    Take them all – the more the better…coco…clover…chickens in cage….princess….then they won’t see you sitting there proud and happy. :heart:

  2. Kathryn says:

    I agree. Load up the farm and go for it! Shoo. By October, Coco will be big enough to pull the float! And, if I don’t stop making (and eating) all these wonderful recipes here, I will be big enough to BE the float!

  3. Carolyn A. says:

    I think you should go for it! You would probably be the hit of the parade. So proud of you! xxoo

  4. Hidden Haven says:

    You can borrow some of Diva’s tiara’s. She has enough for all of you. LOL you will have a blast on the float so go for it!

  5. Lauri V says:

    You will look beautiful on a float and so would Clover! Have FUN.

  6. wammy says:

    I’m with everyone else…go for it. And I also would take as many animals as I could fit in the car….or maybe the backof a pick-up. Or better yet, drive you tractor and pull a wagon with all the kids and animals…And you camera to take pictures of all those people taking pictures of you and the fam. I’d do it in a heart beat. Got any book left? Instead of throwing candy…throw leftover books to the throngs.

  7. cgRenogabbertcaro says:

    Some, however unkind, may be of the opinion that your plastic surgeon has gone a step too far…… :yes:

  8. MMHONEY says:


  9. Donna says:

    LOL You nut! :mrgreen:

    My inlaws have a large Black Walnut tree by thier house. I remember my sister in law in L.A. wanting black walnut flavoring.

    What an honor! Maybe you could toss things like in a Mardi Gras parade! LOL “Throw me some beads Mr.!!” (in your case “Ms.” LOL). Throw them some mini moon pies or beads with a tag on it to support your blog or books …something good!

  10. Nancy says:

    I’m with everyone!!! Take all the farm kids, 2- and 4-legged, winged and horned, have one of the teens drive the tractor, you sit in the wagon with the rest. If you place some bales of hay appropriately you can even do it without pants. And by all means, eat funnel cake while you’re waving.

    Envious in Atlanta! :purr:

  11. Shari C says:

    I think you and Clover each wearing your beautiful tiaras would be a big hit…don’t forget a lot of cookies for Clover.

  12. Amy says:

    I have a box of tiaras you are welcome to choose one or two from. Coco must go with you on the float! I’m afraid Clover might get so scared, she’d curdle her milk, then where would you be!

    I’m sorry you have to wear pants. Treat yourself though and go buy some fun pants.

  13. Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife says:

    Float? FLOAT???? You don’t need to be on no stinking float. You need a vintage 1960’s Cadillac convertible with a parade boot. Seriously….negotiate for the Cadillac.

    – Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife

  14. Remudamom says:

    Of course you should do it. After all, you’re that writer lady that got her car stuck in the creek! Everyone wants a look at you! :wave: :clap:

  15. Suzette says:

    I’m only in support of this if 52 goes, too! And someone volunteers to get a picture!

    Anyone? Anyone?

  16. JKatie says:

    I love it everyone else had the same idea my daughters and I did. You should take the animals! I also like the tossing books and cookies idea : ) Have a great time taking pics of the people taking pics of you. Look at it this way there is more people watching since you get to see more people at a time.

  17. Lisa L says:

    I hate to say this but I think Clover would be amazing on the float – of course you’ll do a fine job too I’m sure!

  18. kacey says:

    Let Clover do it. I wouldn’t give up funnel cakes for anything!!

  19. Debbie in Memphis says:

    I’m with everyone else – take the kids, Coco, chickens, ducks, Clover and babies. It’ll be great!! And since you’ll be standing in the crowd, no one will notice whether you remember the pants or not 😮 Pants are over-rated anyway. I wish I lived closer; I’d join in the funnel cake eating and cheering!

  20. Treasia says:

    Take Coco along with you and remember to throw out lots of candy. :thumbsup: Then you’ll be the hit of the parade.

  21. Sooz in nv says:

    :mrgreen: Have the giant puppy AND the goats ride with you!
    Everyone will be busy watching them. And have your relations save you some funnel cake…that is SO good!

  22. J says:

    :clap: I agree with the ‘tractor, wagon, and animals’ gang.
    Practice :wave:

  23. Martha F. says:

    The cream always rises to the top.. Rise up country girl and represent… You will do a fantastic job! Now wear your fancy farm boots and do the family proud…. You deserve the honor …. I smell a black walnut recipe…yum…

  24. tea4too0 says:

    Better start practicing the “Parade Wave”, the one that the Queen of England has down pat. When my son was young, he and his dad used to participate in antique tractor pulls. Sometimes they would ride in the parades, so I showed the son how to do the queen’s wave. It was so cute when he was little, but now, I can only get him to do it when he is leaving to go home to his “castle, queen and princess”. LOL

  25. lola falana says:


    You’ll love it. The view is interesting from the float, too. You’ll see lots of people you know, cute enthusiastic kids, a tour of the town, really it’s a good seat to have.

    Enjoy!! :sheepjump:


  26. Laura says:

    Practice your QE2 wave and have a good time. Remember, if you convince someone with a convertible to drive you, at the end of the parade you can tell them to floor it and bang! you’ll be home. Just don’t forget the pants. Heck, pamper yourself a bit, go visit the beauty parlor that morning and get your nails done. Have fun with it!

  27. sam says:

    Okay.. go out to the front porch,look out into the distance and smile..lift your arm and practice that wave!

  28. annie d. says:

    If you take the farm critters, (and I think you should) someone needs to walk behind with a “scooper” and a trash can. Or like everything else a mother usually needs to do, let them go first, and you walk behind with the scooper.

  29. catslady says:

    Who says you can’t have funnel cake and wave to the crowd at the same time lol.

  30. Margie says:

    Go for it :bananadance: We only ride on a float one time in our lives, yours will be in Spencer in the Black Walnut Festival Parade. Hope I get to see you. :flying: :shimmy:

  31. Estella says:

    You’ll love it!

  32. Susan says:

    I think you will have a great time! Maybe if you offer 52 enough cookies he will ride with you. :thumbsup:

  33. Kathy R says:

    How about tossing fortune cookies with your web address? Charge it off to advertising!

  34. Brandy says:

    Go for it, when it’s over you can still get a funnel cake! *G*

  35. Christine says:

    Well, uh, outside of her eating the float I think it might work. :mrgreen:

  36. Michelle says:

    I found my way here from Lisa J’s blog. I see that you are in WV and we need a blogger from that state. See, Hallie of Wonderful World of Weiners is running her campaign and needs to have a blogger from each state invite her. In return you blog will get advertisement. Please check it out at https://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/

    You will have to go back a few posts to get the full idea. I love you blog.

  37. Patty says:

    I might drive up to WV to see that and visit the Black Walnut Festival. It sounds wonderful! You’ve got to do it and take lots of pics!

  38. Phyllis says:

    You need to do this,Suzanne. You REALLY need to do this. My family and I would be more than happy to take your place in your Cousin’s upstairs office window. I could save sooo much money from not having to buy chairs that line the parade route, which do us very little good anyway, because as soon as the first drum from the first band sounds in the distance at the beginning of the parade a crowd of people come stampeding right in front of our chairs and STAND there all day. Heck, I’ll even buy you funnel cakes and toss them down to you as you pass by. And, this way I’d actually get to see you, since I’m like your number one fan. I look at Chickens in the Road every single morning whether I’m at work or at home. Oh, by the way, I HAVE CHICKENS AND I HAVE EGGS!!! Oh yeah, I could even bring you some fresh eggs. So think about it,Suzanne. You should REALLY do this. Oh, and your float should really be decorated like a miniature farm with your family and critters with you.

  39. IowaCowgirl says:

    HA! That is great! Be sure to have many photos for us. And you can come to our small town festival: Pumpkinfest in Anamosa, Iowa. Ha!!

  40. sunnid755 says:

    GO, and have fun! What an honor, and something to remember forever. You deserve it.

  41. Jerry says:


    1..You’ll meet people that you’re never met before.
    2..You’ll be able to advertise your blog & books. (have it on the floats placard, otherwise.. what’s the point?)
    3..You will become even more a bigger fish in a little pond.


    1…You’ll feel a little silly.
    2…You’ll really get tired of waving, especially of the parade slows down (and they always do).
    3…You’ll wish you had someone with you to talk to. ( Maybe you can arrange that?… maybe a goat even…)

    Always have candy to throw to the kids if possible. It gives you something to do while feeling foolish. 😆

  42. Lisa Carper Stott says:

    Suzanne, That’s great. I’ll be looking for you at the parade. LOL. Just think I am coming all the way from Ohio to see that parade!

  43. Lisa Carper Stott says:

    Oh, are you going to throw candy too?

  44. butterbuns says:

    WHY OH WHY IS LIFE SO DARN UNFAIR I TRY, THEY TRY AGAINST ME :weather: :wall: :fryingpan: :hissyfit: :drowning:

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