Phoning It In


When I was a kid, one of the houses we lived in had an intercom system. The intercoms were kind of ugly box-like things built into the walls. I think my mother tried using it a few times, then everyone gave up on it. It was weird and very 70’s and….maybe, just maybe, we were prone to switching it to the Off position so she couldn’t so easily call us downstairs to set the table when we were busy playing our David Cassidy records.

And maybe, just maybe, I thought I was smarter than my mother when I realized the Princess’s separate phone line in her room, so she can talk all she wants to her endless flock of friends, could be used like an intercom system–only better because she would never not pick up a ringing phone. A ringing phone–it is her beacon, her magnetic force, her very reason for being. I have leaped over Formica tables and barrelled into antique spinning wheels in the old farmhouse trying, and failing, to beat her to a ringing phone. But– Now! How handy! No need to haul my lazy self up the stairs to her loft bedroom, or worse, yell up there. I can just call her!

Turn the TV down!

Come down here and feed the dogs!

Go to bed!

I am a genius.

Then she called me.

Princess: “I want a sandwich, you know, on your bread, lightly toasted. Just to where it’s a little bit crispy but not hard. Just lightly toasted. LIGHTLY. Mayonnaise, ketchup, ham, and swiss.”

“And,” she finished up, “I’d like a Coke with that.”

Moment of silence.

Me: “Well, I’m not bringing it up there! You’re going to have to come get it!”

Cuz, you know, I have this whole situation under control.


  1. Shirley says:

    I used to do the same thing. Only my daughter was just down the hall. She could have lived in her room for years without coming out, and when she had the tv on, she wouldn’t have heard you even if you yelled. So, I would call her. It was strange because I could hear her talking in both my ears. Through the phone in one and from down the hall in the other. She hated for me to call her. But I thought it was cool. The things I did to warp my children. 😆

  2. Blaze says:

    …well it could be worse.
    She could be driving and pulling up to the kitchen window right?

  3. Sharon Elkins says:

    I guess I must be getting old. Does that child have legs that work?

  4. Hillbilly2 says:

    I told my son I would fix the sandwich. Then he could clean up the kitchen, sweep, mop…
    He made his own sandwich. :mrgreen:

  5. Christine says:

    :rotfl: I think I like her. She’s got spunk! 😉

  6. Kim A. says:

    Ditto Sharon!

    Yes, I see you have everything under control, Suzanne.

    Back in my day…! Well, yeah, back in my day it was me asking how high when my parents said, “Jump.” You know what I mean. I fetched and carried and Mom’s reasoning was always that my legs were younger than hers.

    Couldn’t argue with that logic.

    BTW, I see Princess’s room is already well-lived in. :rotfl:


  7. Mental P Mama says:

    Yeah, I thought I had everything under control, too. Then they stopped answering. Caller ID. :wall:

  8. kacey says:

    LOL, I call the boys’ cell phones to tell them dinner is ready when they are home. But if they called me to make them a sandwich??? :fryingpan: :mrgreen: I like Princess, she’s got spunk and a sharp mind! (and a darling bedroom)

  9. Cyndi Lewis says:

    Sorry Suzannne. On this one, I have to say, I’d make my kid make her own. My slogan around the house is, “I’m not a short order cook.” However, kudos for the none delivery! :thumbsup:

  10. Remudamom says:

    Snort. We finally got cell phone reception out here on the ranch, and I don’t know how we did without it. The boys call me about every ten minutes when they’re out feeding: “What’s for breakfast? Got any sausage? How about pancakes?” I’ll cook them anything they want, since they’re out feeding cattle with dad, and I’m sipping coffee and sitting at the computer.

  11. Jill S. says:

    Ha! We don’t get cell reception in the house . . .

    Hey, wait a minute. You can’t get cable but she can get cell reception? That doesn’t seem fair.

  12. becki says:

    I don’t know if I blame you or HGTV. Or, those “Flip this House” shows. Anyway, we are re-doing our Princess’s room for her birthday. Everything has to come out. After a solid day of lugging stuff out on Monday, the dining room is oerloaded and her room is only half empty. Women’s shelter comes later today to pick up her HUGE bunkbed set and old dresser(with at least 500 powerpuff girls stickers).

    Her room is an alcove-style with 6 4′ by 6′ windows. Her request is to have two of those go away (by our neighbors driveway.

    She spent three hours Sunday picking the perfect paint color and bedding ensemble.

    It’s going to be a long week.

  13. Becky says:

    Hahahaaa! You need to put a dumbwaiter by her room with a little bell on it. :rockon:

  14. Courtney KS says:


    When I was growing up, we could call our phone number from the very phone with that number and it would ring! I received many a wake up calls, dinner calls, “turn down the stereo” calls, and “are you cleaning your room” calls. Bummer I never thought to order a sandwich! I think it still works, so I’ll see if that fly’s next time I visit my parents. HA!

    Too cute post – thanks for the trip down memory lane!

  15. Amy Addison says:

    Phones are the new intercoms.

    I text 13 (no, I don’t even bother calling) to come do his chores, walk the dog, finish his homework, bring me something from upstairs.

    And yes, from time to time, it works both ways. Once, he needed toilet paper…

  16. Tipper says:

    I have 2 girls who are also royalty-what drives me crazy-they will almost fist fight over who gets to the phone first-unless it happens to be a time when I can’t answer it-then its like they never even heard it ring!

  17. Linda~ says:

    Ha, she turned the tables on you. The apples don’t fall far, I’m sure she gets her smarts from you.

    I think the next time she’s in the kitchen, you should call her from her room and order a sandwich!


  18. Maria says:

    How quickly our offspring turn on us.
    I’m with the person who suggested the dumb waiter. Can’t Steve just rig something up, quick-like, you know?

    BTW, my husband has been wanting to know what’s going on with you and 52. He’s a bit addicted to that story for some reason (oh, you know me, I can wait out a good romance…NOT!)perhaps having to do with our own age difference….so you know, I”m not asking for myself!! Not at all. It’s for my husband. I see 52 WAS mentioned when you were planting the other day…but I think he (not me) would really like more details…

  19. Susan says:

    You should have known Princess would have figured a way to turn it to her benefit! I love your response! :thumbsup:

  20. becki says:

    Ineed steve the


  21. Suzanne McMinn says:

    LOL, Becki, I’m sure you can get him to come to Texas if you pay him enough! 😆

  22. Annie says:

    Wait, antique spinning wheels? Please tell me more! Even better, photos?

    What can I say, I’m a spinner.

  23. Brandy says:

    Princess has spunk! *g* You had to know it would back-fire on you sometime.

  24. Estella says:

    I guess I’m old fashioned. My reply would —Get down here and make your own sandwich.

  25. catslady says:

    My daughter emails me from upstairs or uses her cell phone lol. My youngest always made her own food when she was hungry but my oldest was another matter – she just wouldn’t eat and of course I’d start feeling guilty lol.

  26. Renna says:

    “Mayonnaise, ketchup, ham, and swiss”? Blech! :shocked:

    Yea for Princess’ phone, which reminds me, when I was her age, I had a “princess phone”. Remember those? :mrgreen:

  27. Elcie says:

    LOL. I’m pretty sure my mother’s response to that would have been “You’re grounded.” :rotfl:

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