February has been forced to abandon plans to appear in the 2011 winter schedule, according to a calendar spokesperson. The 28-day show regular fell victim to a sluggish and frozen January, resulting in a decreasing audience for its too-similar frosty delights. February needs to retool her image if she wants to make the Hit Parade again.

“People are tired of being cold,” said spokesperson Ryan Perkins. “They were flipping over their calendars to March in record numbers. February has nothing new to offer.”

The month hasn’t been entirely cancelled, however. February is now slated to appear between July and August.

Perkins believes the move is a good one. “People are complaining about the heat by mid-summer. Rescheduling a cold month to play between the two hottest months of the year will really shake things up, giving people an opportunity to appreciate both heat and cold without either wearing out its welcome.”

Fans of the snowy month worry that the move could hurt February’s holidays, including Groundhog Day, Presidents’ Day, and Valentine’s Day. “Who’s going to tell Punxsatawney Phil?” one fan asked on the forum at February’s official website. “Is he supposed to stay in his hole for another five months?”

As of press time, February had declined to make an official statement, leaving many to speculate on the tantalizing possibility simmering beneath the current postponement. “It’s a short month,” stated an anonymous seasonal insider. “It’s the easiest one to get rid of.”


  1. skippymom says:

    This sounds vaguely familiar. Like something you posted last year about wishing the calendar by and it came back and bit you and winter lasted longer then you wanted.

    Glad you are prepared and you aren’t in the midwest this year.

  2. Karen B says:

    I’d like to skip right to April!! :happyfeet:

  3. brookdale says:

    Great idea!!I’ll take it! That “Ryan Perkins” is a smart guy.

  4. Mary says:

    Getting rid of February is fine with me. It’s my birthday month, and it’s a Big one this year.

  5. brookdale says:

    Forgot to add, that’s a great picture of the lichens on the tree. I see a little bare ground behind it. There’s still hope for spring.

  6. SandyCWV says:

    Well, a girl is allowed to dream! Didn’t seem to work out though. February woke me up and told me to get my butt on the elliptical this morning. Seems that the fear of being exposed in the summertime was too much. Serious workouts are needed before that is ever allowed to happen!

  7. DB says:

    Too funny!! It would be nice to slip February in between those hot summer months.
    But my anniversary is tomorrow (02-02-02) and I don’t want to miss that!!


  8. northcountrygirl says:

    Better yet, I agree with Karen B…let’s skip to April. February and March can be interspersed between the sweltering days of July and August. Like every other day. I’m sure they would be welcomed then.

  9. Deb says:

    I WISH!! LOL I’m so ready for spring. 😀

  10. Johanna says:

    Suzanne–Congratulations on your nomination in the 2011 Webbies — Best Photography on a Blog! Everyone go and vote!

  11. Rachel says:

    That is the best idea I have heard in a long time. February in the middle of summer? Perfect!

  12. lilac wolf says:

    Funny! I feel the same way about Feb.

  13. holstein woman says:

    But it isn’t freezing in Oregon, and I get to plant peas. I don’t have any. Thats worse than cold.

  14. Ramona says:

    I hear ya and I agree let’s skip it.

  15. annabel52 says:

    Sounds good to me. I have seven family birthdays and Valentines Day this month. My birthday is one of those and I could use a skip.
    Go for it!!!

  16. MJ Krech says:

    Thanks so much for a GOOD laugh this morning, Suzanne! :no: My entire state faces 18 inches of snow and blizzard conditions on top of ice today! The gov. has already declared a state of emergency. Not much to recommend February for, that’s for sure! You’ve helped me see it in the light of summer, which WILL come! :sun: Thanks!

  17. Jersey Lady says:

    Sounds like Short Month Discrimination to me!

  18. ivy says:

    I for one, like February…course I live in California. But it is me and my daughter’s birthday this week so some celebration is needed. :sun:

  19. Carmen at Old House Kitchen says:

    LOL! Too funny! You’re a hoot! I rather like Feb….since it is a short wintry month! : )

  20. Nancy Stickler says:

    After this winter I’m more than happy to skip February! We’re in the midst of a one- two punch again complete with snow and freezing rain. If the month is not rescheduled that’s fine with me!

  21. Window On The Prairie says:

    This is a democracy, so let’s take it up for a vote. All those in favor of skipping Feb and moving on to spring, raise your hands!!

    Suzanne :woof:

  22. Martha in KS says:

    February roared into Kansas this morning (must be a male)- it’s almost white-out conditions right now. I did my civic duty by following the National Weather Service’s recommendations to stay off the roads & didn’t go to work. Cozy on the couch reading today’s hilarious blog.

  23. AnnieB says:

    February would feel GREAT right in there between July 31 and August 1. Maybe if we all concentrate really really hard we can make it happen!

  24. Lindsay says:

    @northcountrygirl: that is an excellent idea! Could we spread a bit down to FL, perhaps? We were hovering around 80°F today. I was actually sweating! :hissyfit:

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