About a month and a half ago, I ordered new bedding for Princess’s room. One day, a big package came to the old farmhouse porch. Because I wasn’t going to let Princess open her new bedding until we got to the new farmhouse, I stashed the big package away. Then over came my cousin’s mother one day.
Georgia: “Did they leave a package here for Mark?”
Over came my cousin’s wife.
Sheryl, my cousin’s wife: “Did they leave a package here for Mark?”
Over came the UPS guy.
UPS Guy: “Did you find a package here for your cousin?”
Rinse and repeat about three times.
Last night, we (me, the Princess, and Londa, Steve-the-Builder’s wife) trotted up to Princess’s shower where I had stashed all her goodies for her new room to survey the fun.
New bedding, shower curtain, soap dispenser, toothbrush holder–all in “horse” theme. SO cute.
We went through all the packages and then got to the one I hadn’t opened. I was sure it was her big comforter. Princess tore into the package then pulled out….a big shirt.
And another big shirt.
And another one.
I grabbed the packing slip. $400 worth of shirts, belts, and pants. Addressed to….my cousin.
He’d ordered a big passel of giant shirts and pants and belts. Because he is giant and he orders all of his clothes. Back at Ye Olde Farmhouse, there are three houses–my cousin’s, his mother’s, and the old farmhouse where we were living. The old farmhouse has a huge front porch to shelter packages from the elements, so whenever anything is delivered, that’s where it goes. But I was confused! I had ordered new bedding for the Princess!
And I told my cousin and his mother and the UPS people that I never saw that package!
I told them that for a MONTH AND A HALF!
Hiding the packing slip against my chest, I grabbed Londa. “Come with me.”
Of course, the Princess followed.
I said, “Go away! You’ll tell!”
She promised she wouldn’t tell! No, no, she’d never tell. I spilled the horror. I had the giant shirts! All along! I can’t possibly admit I have the giant shirts NOW!!! But what am I going to do with all those giant shirts?!
Princess: “You should tell Sheryl.”
Me: “I can’t do that!”
Londa is busy doubled over with laughter. Princess disappears.
I need help, badly. I find Steve-the-Builder and explain my giant shirt dilemma. “WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH ALL THESE GIANT SHIRTS?”
Because we know he will use his bionic pinkie to make all those giant shirts disappear. Or turn them into a horse. Or whatever. But before he can do that–
Enter Princess. “Sheryl says it’s okay.”
Princess: “I called her. I told her you had the shirts.”