My cousin just bought his fourth VW bug. Not that it runs or anything, and neither do the other three. And as a complete aside, could I be bringing you this blog anywhere but from West Virginia? I am always talking about my cousins and now I’m going to show you my cousin’s latest addition to his junk yard. This is true West Virginia blogging here, people! We’re related to everybody and everybody has junk. I even have a pile of junk myself, but mine is special! (Don’t we all think our junk is special? My cousin definitely thinks his junk is special.) My cousin’s wife thinks it’s super-special. Her reaction to his new junk? “Oh, honey, I am so excited that you brought more junk home! I was dying for more junk! How did you ever read my mind? Can you get more junk tomorrow? Please!!”
Or maybe that wasn’t exactly her reaction, but some things are better left between a husband and wife.
Since my cousin knows what a freak of nature I am, he let it loose through the family grapevine (Georgia) that I’d better hurry on over and take pictures because the truly artistic and cultural highlights would soon disappear. So I scurried right over the hill, at a speed-of-light-busting 10 miles per hour on our rocky, creek-strewn dirt road to bring you this West Virginia junk photographic documentary before it was lost to the dust of history. (Okay, I was going over to the old farmhouse anyway to drop Princess off for the bus. Never mind.)
So here it is, my cousin’s brand new love. And I have to say, of all four of his beetles, this is the coolest one.
A genuine 1960’s anti-war love machine.
This bug was totally rockin’ at Woodstock, don’t you know?
And now here it ends its socially-conscious days of glory, awaiting cannibalism as my cousin chop-shops it together with his other three old VW bugs to turn them all into one working beetle.
I said, “You should just fix this one up and keep it this way. You would be totally hot driving this anti-war love machine to the courthouse every day.” (My cousin is the county prosecuting attorney.)
My cousin said something like, Are you finished with your nonsense, woman? Or maybe I can just read minds. Then he went back to taking apart his new old beetle. And I would have pointed out that he could have bought one working bug for the time, trouble, and expense of buying four and putting them together, but I’m afraid he would have said something sensible like, “You could just buy eggs at the store.” (Or even at the farmers’ market, if you want fresh.) And that’s true. I guess we all have our little oddities or hobbies, things we do that take extra effort but we do them that way because they bring pleasure into our lives in simple ways.
But, I have to say, the chickens are cuter, don’t you think?
Except this one. This one looks kinda angry and scary, doesn’t he?
I think the other chicks are scared of him, too.
Now we lay us down to sleep. We pray the Lord our souls to keep….
…..from chipmunk-chomping kitty-cats…..
(I said, NOT IN THE HOUSE!)
(You’re not looking at the dust on my floor, are you? STOP IT. My floor is always clean. I dirtied it up just for this picture. To test you. To see if you noticed. Now stop noticing!)
…..and scary, angry, psycho peeps.
And if you made it through this entire ridiculous post, I’m going to reward you with a surprise contest! What do you think is cuter–the VW anti-war love machine bug or the chicks? I need to know! I need to be validated because I think you will mostly choose the chicks. But even if you choose the VW bug, I will forgive you and you will still be entered in the contest. (My feelings will just be hurt, but don’t worry about me.) So go ahead, tell me what’s cuter–just drop a comment in this post. Contest closes at noon (Eastern time) on Sunday, May 11, and the winner, by random drawing, will be announced in Monday’s post. Oh–and the prize? A $50 Amazon gift certificate.
The chicks are cute, aren’t they? Not that I’m trying to sway you!!