How to Tell If A Cow Is Pregnant

Aug
1

As I ponder when to send Glory Bee’s boyfriend home and whether or not he’s done his job, I compiled this top 10 list of ways to tell if your cow is pregnant. Especially if you’re like me and have no idea, really.

10. Bump her side. Supposedly, you can feel the baby. Or something. I find this very mysterious and it always makes me feel like I’m hitting my cow.

9. Go in with the long gloves. Call a vet or a country preg checker. If they’re really good, they can feel the baby at 60 days. If they don’t do it real often, 100 days is better. If it was me doing it, I like never.

8. Buy a pregnancy test. Yes, they do make cow home pregnancy tests. This seems a little extreme. And involves taking blood. Never mind.

7. Ask your cow! I find this usually results in a level stare from those big cow eyes and no talking.

6. Sneak into the pasture and see if you can catch her knitting baby booties.

5. Note if your cow switches from watching Sex in the City reruns to baby shows on TLC.

4. Offer her some pickles.

3. Watch if she’s getting fat. Of course, she might just be getting fat.

2. Announce that you don’t ever want to raise a calf again and see if she starts crying. Pregnant ladies are so sensitive, you know.

And the number one way you can tell if your cow is pregnant is–

–if a baby comes out of her hiney!

I hope this was helpful. Good luck.

July 31, 2013 - Meat Loaf and Bacon Jam

I had lunch recently at a place called the Secret Society of Sandwiches in Fayetteville, near the New River Gorge, and had THE best meat loaf and bacon jam sandwiches, which put me in the mood for meat loaf and bacon jam. I love a spicy meat loaf, but you can substitute the jalapeno peppers...
Read More

July 30, 2013 - Buttercup

Buttercup is my oldest cat. He spends a lot of time sleeping. Not that this isn’t normal cat behavior, but he seems to spend more time sleeping than normal even for a cat. Maybe because he’s getting old. He’s 14 years old and has been with me longer than any other animal I’ve ever had....
Read More

July 29, 2013 - Cheese and Grits Bread

Cornbread is one of my staples around here, and in many Southern (and other!) kitchens. When I was growing up, it most often showed up on the table with a big pot of pinto beans. Grits are like a coarse cornmeal and can be used in place of cornmeal in many recipes. The switch offers...
Read More

July 26, 2013 - Peach Blossom Pie

Having written about the 1942 Modern Family Cook Book by Meta Given, of course I had to try out a recipe right away. I pondered the options. So many choices. There are over a thousand recipes in this book. Braised lettuce? Broiled salt mackerel? Lemon jelly roll? French-fried toast sticks? Upside-down meat loaves? Cottage pudding?...
Read More