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Do you ever feel overwhelmed?
July 1, 2010
1:05 pm
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Grandmatotwochicks
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Husbands that don’t help out, I try to avoid the garage as much as possible, it seems that hubby likes to “THROW” everything in the garage!  This morning I went to look for an ice chest, BIG MISTAKE! devil-with-fire MESS MESS MESS!!!!  I finally found it wedged between an old washer and dryer and up against the garage door, I cannot even get to it!  Oh well, I know what HEgrrr will be doing tonight when he get’s home from work!  The garage is the black hole, a very scary place full of black widows, mice and God know’s what else could be lurking in there, I have asked hubby and offered to help clean it out now for two YEARS!  But there never is a good time, yes I know I am ranting, just thought all of you who have husband’s that don’t do what WE want them to do are not alone.  I really think that WOMEN should RULE the WORLD, it might be a better place. warrior

July 1, 2010
6:13 pm
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tsmith
Arizona
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It is so nice to know that I am not the only one with a husband that just throws whatever into the black hole of a garage!  Then he gets mad when he can’t find something and spends half a day looking for it.  I keep telling him that there is a solution for that problem, but he doesn’t listen to me.  I am the wife, after all.  wink

July 1, 2010
7:06 pm
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Grandmatotwochicks
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Hubby leaves TOOLS everywhere! and I do mean everywhere, we live on two acres and I find all sorts of tools in the yard.  He has a tool box, but do you think he uses it? yes thats right NO, then he spends time looking for them and becomes very frustrated.  I have my own tools with my name on them, he is not allowed to touch them!yes

July 1, 2010
8:03 pm
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rileysmom
Rural Montana
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I feel everyone’s pain……hubby, wonderful as he is, never puts things back where he found them.  Drives me nuts!!!   hissy-fit   But, he can get away with it in the garage….his domain. 

July 2, 2010
2:15 pm
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I Wanna Farm
Michigan
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I think one thing that makes me feel overwhelmed is when my husband and two kids “can’t find” something, meaning they haven’t looked all that hard, and I have to go get it for them; and it’s always exactly where I told them it was. Because, if they would put their things away, they would know where it is. And because, I shouldn’t have to go find it for you, you’re perfectly capable and have all of your senses and functions intact. And because when I can’t find something it’s because you took it and left it where ever you had it last, and “don’t know” where it is and won’t help me find it!!!! hissy-fit And when I do find it, it’s often in disrepair or all used up!!!!devil-with-fire I feel like, ‘HELLO! ANYBODY IN THERE?” poke

That stuff really gets to me, in case you couldn’t tell. lol The stress from that overwhelms me because I’m already trying to keep things somewhat tidy and in order while making sure I have more than enough time for them, and it kind of feels like it’s the least they can do to put they’re own things away and not take mine. But I still wouldn’t trade my time with them for doing any mundane thing.

Heather B.

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.
Mark Twain

July 2, 2010
3:14 pm
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Pete
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Oh, that’s an EASY one, IWF!  Any time someone asks, “Where is….” your first response should ALWAYS be, “Where have you looked?”  That one actually worked around here.  Can’t tell you when was the last time I got one of the “Where is” questions that isn’t now, “I thought such-and-such was here or there, but it isn’t there.  Do you know where we might have moved it?”

Following the “Where have you looked?” question you get very busy doing something which will take a while to finish, but politely tell them that you will come help them look in a bit when you finsh.  And then wait for them to find it themselves before finishing your task.  They trained you to drop everything and do it for them.  You can retrain them.

 

Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!

July 2, 2010
4:01 pm
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Rose H
Rural Staffordshire, UK.
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It would appear that husbands all over the world have a garage/shed/barn that is a black hole!

My beloved has his in the garage too yes, that’s why I too have a full tool kit that he dare NOT touch. shame-on-you  Now I know exactly where the electric drill,  screwdiver, hammer or sander is.

If it's got tyres or testicles it's trouble.

http://secondhrose.blogspot.com

July 2, 2010
5:50 pm
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Grandmatotwochicks
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I agree Rose!  Husbands are all pretty much the same, I have had two and it’s funny how they all do the same thing.  Pete I love that “Where have you looked”  I will try this one!  We love them, its just that at times it’s like dealing with a small child.  Hubby is actually mopping the floor for me right now!  So he is on my good side today!yes

July 2, 2010
10:13 pm
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blueberrylu
Michigan
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I Wanna Farm said:

I think one thing that makes me feel overwhelmed is when my husband and two kids “can’t find” something, meaning they haven’t looked all that hard, and I have to go get it for them; and it’s always exactly where I told them it was. Because, if they would put their things away, they would know where it is. And because, I shouldn’t have to go find it for you, you’re perfectly capable and have all of your senses and functions intact. And because when I can’t find something it’s because you took it and left it where ever you had it last, and “don’t know” where it is and won’t help me find it!!!! hissy-fit And when I do find it, it’s often in disrepair or all used up!!!!devil-with-fire I feel like, ‘HELLO! ANYBODY IN THERE?” poke

That stuff really gets to me, in case you couldn’t tell. lol The stress from that overwhelms me because I’m already trying to keep things somewhat tidy and in order while making sure I have more than enough time for them, and it kind of feels like it’s the least they can do to put they’re own things away and not take mine. But I still wouldn’t trade my time with them for doing any mundane thing.


 
Are you sure you don’t secretly live at my house?!?!?!  I swear when my kids “look” for something they stand in the middle of the living room, stare at the ceiling for 5 seconds, then tell me they can’t find whatever it is.  I ususally tell them or hubby—–”use your eyes and look–it’s the exact same thing I have to do to find it”.  I remember my dad would always look in the cupboard or in the fridge for something and immediately ask my mom where such and such was.  She would tell him to look around, since she couldn’t place everything on the front row.
July 4, 2010
11:13 pm
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I Wanna Farm
Michigan
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I’m going to try the “where have you looked” thing, too! Isn’t it funny how families everywhere are so much alike in so many ways? Wives and Mothers everywhere are probably yelling “IF I HAVE TO COME FIND THAT FOR YOU, SO HELP ME…..!!”. LOL If women did rule the world, it would have to be women with family experience; they’d all pour some coffee or wine and exchange recipes and comiserate about husbands and kids, then exchange phone numbers and go home and that would be that. haha

Heather B.

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.
Mark Twain

July 10, 2010
11:11 am
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Runningtrails - Sheryl
Barrie, Ontario
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Ditto here! Our garage is a black hole where everything just gets tossed!

I am the “finder” at our house too. I might start some of the tactics mentioned above.

Sheryl - sherylgallant.blogspot.com - providence-acres.blogspot.com

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."  - 1 Thes. 4:11

July 10, 2010
11:26 am
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I Wanna Farm
Michigan
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My father in law just passed away, and my husband and I spent two days cleaning out his garage, along with my son on one of the days. We found things from my husband’s grandpa when it was his house! Square nails! Matches from the 70’s! I thought we’d never get it cleaned. Two generations of filling the black hole took it’s toll on us, and I hope my husband doesn’t pick up any bad habits!

Heather B.

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.
Mark Twain

July 10, 2010
2:33 pm
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Grandmatotwochicks
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It was a another busy week, the house is a wreck!  I am sitting here typing and NOT wanting to do anything, I just started a new book and could go lie down and read all afternoon, BUT then I would feel guilty,no so its off to cleaning I go!, we have a side business, house cleaning and Janitorial, so its not much fun to clean your own house.bomb

July 10, 2010
9:46 pm
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knancy
Charleston, WV
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The first time that i became aggravated over being disturbed from what I was doing to help find something that I felt was a “no brainer” was, unfortunately, toward my son.  When i went to see what it was he needed me to find for him – in the refrigerator- he was just standing there  – not really looking – with the door open!  My first thought was, ‘why is his head not peering deep into the depths of that refrigerator?”  And – it hit me!  He didn’t have to because Mommy would do it for him! No, no. no!  If he is smart enough to play the deceit game then feel my honesty!  “It’s behind the pickle jar”, I told him.  I stood there until he had to move things around and actually, physically move items to procure his needed objective. Ha!  He tried this game at other times and my response (whether it was in the fridge or not was always, ‘It’s behind the pickle jar!”  We both laugh at this now…..

July 11, 2010
8:06 am
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Leahld22
Newburgh, IN
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Lol’ing here ladies! My dad used to call us kids gophers. Because we would be asked to GO look FERhappy-feet this or that! Usually is was to look for his eyeglasses. :)

Life is too important to be taken too seriously.

July 14, 2010
4:27 pm
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lifeisgood/ Melinda
Louisiana
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Well, if life weren't hectic enough, I now have a new chapter starting.  My elderly dad lives in my backyard and depends on me for all his needs. My elderly mom (they are divorced) lives in another home I own three houses away. I have a husband, a teenage son, a nine year old stepson that live with me. I have three other daughters and one son that all had their own homes………until recently when oldest daughter and her husband seperated. She moved into an apartment. (by the way the seperation was his deal; not hers). Now, her roommate is moving and she can't find another one and can't afford to live on her own without one soooooooooo……..she's moving home. She is 31, no kids, and I love her. BUT…….we get on each others nerves SOOOOOOO BADLY! She's a sweet, caring, kind person but something about our personalities just cause us to bring out the worst in each other.  Of course…it couldn't be ME! (ha!)

I'm a little nervous about this new living arrangement, but determined to make it work. Do any of you have grown children living at home again? How do you handle living with an adult child?

July 14, 2010
5:16 pm
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Miss Judy
West Central MO
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My kids are in and out of this home like it's a hotel! In Feb. of 2009 my youngest son moved home after a long stint of unemployment in Ohio. Then in April of the year my oldest daughter moved back. It has been interesting. No big confrontations …but…lots of mumblings. Of course they both had bills and no job.It took forever for them to find fulltime work! Don't make it too easy on them or they will stay for yearslaugh. About 2 months ago daughter rented a basement apartment from a friend  and son is in the process of moving this week! Oh Happy Day!

Really it wasn't too bad. It's just that for some reason they would still act like kids and wait to be told to do things that obviously needed done. At least they are both good cooks. hungry

July 14, 2010
9:31 pm
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Pete
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Never got into this situation myself, but after observing it with others, my best advice is to have clear ground rules before they move in the first item – then stick with it, adjusting in ways that work as needed.  Like how much of the house they can mess up, what they are to do with their laundry, who pays for what, and having assigned chores, etc.  Like you would with any other adult.

A friend ended up with both of her adult children back in her home a couple of years ago, and I thought her arrangement was nuts!  The kids pay her a flat fee each month.  She buys groceries and does all the laundry.  My first reaction was, well yeah, like THAT is gonna work – but it does.  This way she knows exactly what is in the refridge at any moment and the washing machine is free any time she wants to use it.  No confusion, no mix-ups.  The kids are responsible for getting stuff to the laundry room and each have a few (very few!) items in the refrig that they can just go in and get.  They plan meals ahead, and the kids cook, too.  Having friends over is planned in advance as well.  And she only goes into their bedrooms to deliver clean laundry, so it is out of her way.

All to say, they found a way to respect each other's space, divied up the chores around the house much as you would with a roommate not related to you, but the house is still hers, and under her control.  She knew that having three different people trying to use the laundry and fix meals independently would drive her nuts, so they worked around that issue.

Anulos qui animum ostendunt omnes gestemus!

July 19, 2010
4:17 pm
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JeannieB
Columbia, South Carolina
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I have two grown sons, one has moved in and out so much that I called him Boomerang,  the youngest never left the nest.  When my sister died and I got custody of Girlie, I had an apartment built  on the back of my property and moved the sons out!!   I don't think they will ever get married, much less ever move out!!

Don't cry because it's over—smile because it happened!

July 20, 2010
5:56 am
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becky3086
Thomson, GA
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Well, I have my son, new DIL and baby Christian living with me. Since the DIL was the girlfriend and they were both in high school (trouble with a step-dad so we took her in). None of them do anything around the house and I only make them pay a little rent each week. My son tried to remedy the situation by joining the Army. He broke his foot the thrird day of Basic(bad enough to need surgery) and we are going to bring him home this weekend. The DIL and baby have been gone this summer to a grandmothers in Texas but they also will be back Aug 3rd. We sure have enjoyed having a few months off from having our house so overcrowed, or food bill so high as well as our other bills dropping (our water bill dropped $20 right away) but now my son will be home for a month then will have to go back to Basic and AIT so his wife and baby will likely still be with us for 10 more months. I also might mention that the DIL is deaf, can't hear well enough with her hearing aid to go anywhere by herself, I have to go to all the baby's doctors appointments with her and anywhere else she has to go where she has to talk to people.

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