by popular demand……

Feb
16

A merman joke.

Cover your children’s eyes. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

(Click the more button for the joke. Or, don’t, if you’re easily shocked….)
Read the Rest ➺





luscious

Feb
16

If you buy a book from an author whose blog you’ve read, do you expect their book to be like their blog? If you have a blog and you’re an author, do you think your blog reflects your books? I ask this because someone mentioned to me recently that they didn’t think my blog reflects the type of books I write.

Not that I think people necessarily buy books from an author just because they read their blog. Of course, I’d LIKE it if people who read my blog then wanted to read my books. (What? Do you think I’m CRAZY? NO, don’t answer that question!)

I’m not sure how I’d write a blog to reflect all of the different types of books I write, and actually, all of my books, even the darker ones, include humor. But no, there will be no tartar sauce jokes in the merman story! (Yes, my helpful friends have been pondering the tartar sauce jokes for the merman.) I’m not sure how I would even write a blog that reflected my PAX series. (Would I entice terrorists to my blog then capture them with my super powers?)

So, like all people today, I searched for answers online. I found this article on writing a great weblog. Head-spinning, I searched for simpler fare. Something that wouldn’t take so much time to digest. I know! A quiz! All the wisdom of the universe is contained in internet quizzes.

Are you as interesting as your blog?

Good news. I’m as interesting as my blog. Not sure that tells me what my blog reflects, though. Okay, trying this: Which website are you? This should tell me what my blog reflects about me.

“You are metafilter.com You’re involved in the community. You like to share with your friends. You’re into omphaloskepsis. You like pancakes and the color blue.”

What? I’m metafilter??? I don’t even KNOW what OMPHALOSKEPSIS is!!!! I do like pancakes, though….

I give up. I wonder what fruit my boobs resemble?

Your boobs are Luscious Mangoes!

Just the right size and no sign of sagging.

With a bra you’ll have a lotta cleavage and without it, you can still run around without experiencing too much or irritating bouncing.

Men are attracted to your boobs because they look nice, taste good and feel just right in their hands.

Be proud of what you got — it’s the only pair you’re ever gonna have!

I can’t even remember what this post was about now.



February 15, 2005 - sexxxx-yyyyyy

“WHAT IS DADDY DOING WITH THIS MAGAZINE?” ::blink:: Radar position: up. “What magazine?” Daughter shoves Victoria’s Secret catalog at me. “He’s looking at women!” “That’s MY magazine!” Er, catalog. “What for?” “It’s for ordering sexy lingerie.” “MOMMY. If I’m not allowed to say THAT word, then neither are you!” And she hasn’t even seen the...
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February 14, 2005 - super prize

UPDATED! AGAIN! Winner announcement! My children were off school today. (Why why whyyyyyy????) My husband and I don’t make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day. He isn’t a big *holiday* person. He thinks it’s a corporate conspiracy to make people spend money. Since he tells me he loves me every day of the year,...
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February 14, 2005 - something

This is for Beth—no, not Beth Ciotta, though she is adorable, so go check her out! But this is for Beth Swain. I was going to write this in response to her comment in the “nothing” entry below, but that was dangerously close to turning it into SOMETHING and I just couldn’t let that happen!...
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February 14, 2005 - does this post make my butt look fluffy?

Recently, someone referred to my blog as just *fluff*. I don’t think it was meant as a compliment. YOU HAVEN’T SEEN FLUFF YET, LADY! I’LL SHOW YOU FLUFF!! fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff-fluff I take pride in my mature response to criticism.

February 13, 2005 - nothing

Why do people blog about having nothing to blog about? If you blog about having nothing to blog about, don’t you then have something to blog about? You’re blogging about having nothing to blog about. Now, me, I’m blogging about people who blog about having nothing to blog about. Repeat that paragraph out loud five...
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February 12, 2005 - kiss and tell

The last silly surprise Valentine’s giveaway!!!! Play to win, or play just for fun. The prize: An autographed copy of my romantic comedy, Her Secret Stranger, and a six-pack of pink heart tealight candles. How to play: Answer ANY or ALL of the five Valentine’s questions in this entry. You can answer however many of...
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