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Earlier this week, my mother, who was 81, passed away unexpectedly in Texas. I’m in Texas now. I had some posts stacked up, so I ran them because I wasn’t ready to talk about what had happened yet. I had prepared some posts ahead to give myself time to work on another project. Funny how sometimes you don’t know what you are really preparing for. I’m out of posts now. I’ll be gone for several more days. My mother’s funeral was yesterday in Fort Worth, and today she is being buried in San Antonio. Weston and Morgan were already in Texas with their dad. They are coming home with me early. I flew here, but Weston is bringing back a vehicle for his senior year, so we’ll be driving. (It’s a long drive and not one I was expecting to be making.) I’ll try to keep the Daily Farm Photo page updated on our trip as I can.
My mother loved birds.
And her grandchildren.
Not in that order.
She was a teacher, a writer, a businesswoman, an amazing cook, a devoted wife, and a sweet mother. She was also an avid reader. She loved romance novels, and gave me my first romance novel. After I became a published romance novelist, I took her with me to booksignings and Romance Writers of America conferences and Harlequin parties. Nora Roberts was one of her favorite authors, and I enjoyed being able to introduce her to Nora at a Harlequin party in Dallas one year. My mother was my biggest fan, no matter what I did. She never said a critical word to me in her life. She didn’t really know how to use a computer, but she got one so she could see my blog every day. She could hardly figure out how to send an email (she frequently sent me blank emails or emails cut off in the middle of a sentence because she never could figure out where to click), but she knew how to get to my blog. Every day.
She could also shake her thing and she was quite the preacher’s wife with the way she wiggled her hips down that church aisle every Sunday. (I could never say that about her when she was reading my blog because it would have embarrassed her. Some of my most vivid memories of her as a child is how she shook her thing with a natural exuberance about herself that she couldn’t contain. Even in church. She had it going on.) She loved jewelry and makeup and fashion, and most of all, she enjoyed keeping herself fit and looking good. She grew up poor on a farm and she embraced city life with both arms. She loved to entertain and she enjoyed fine things without placing them above what was real. She had taste and a soft heart.
My mother was 16 when she met my father on a double date. They weren’t dating each other. Pretty soon, though, they were. I suspect there was some hip-wiggling involved. My father was stationed at a base in Oklahoma following his missions in World War II, and that’s how a farm boy from West Virginia met a farm girl in Oklahoma. They eloped when she was still 16 and he took her away from the flat lands to the hills of West Virginia where she learned to make Grandmother Bread from my father’s mother–and one day taught it to me. They lived all over the United States, from Washington, D.C. to California, and traveled across Europe. She had four children, two of them early in her life, and one died at 13. She had two more children later in life, after that tragedy–and one of them was me. I was her youngest child, and her favorite. Or so she always told me. And if she ever told anyone different, I don’t want to hear about it.
She had a beautiful voice and she loved to sing in church–and anywhere else. She sang in the kitchen all the time.
But most of all, she loved her grandchildren. (And my children have no grandparents other than my parents.) She was a wonderful grandmother. Morgan was her only granddaughter, and she enjoyed showering her with girly things and taking her to lunch and shopping and the beauty salon. When Morgan was 18 months old, my mother commissioned a porcelain doll made in her image and dressed it in one of Morgan’s baby dresses. (I’m NOT making that up!) She loved all of her many grandsons just as much, but she only had one granddaughter and they had an extraordinarily close relationship. Even after we moved away from Texas, Morgan continued to spend a great deal of time with her every summer. Morgan was with her when she was taken to the hospital.
I know someone will ask about Ross because he is in boot camp. My mother had already bought her plane ticket for his graduation. We were all going together–me, my mother, Weston, and Morgan. He was only allowed to put down four names to be allowed in. After some investigation, we came to the conclusion that it was highly unlikely (and against normal policy) that Ross would be allowed to leave boot camp for her funeral (grandparents do not fall under the military definition of immediate family), so his father and I decided to not tell him so that he won’t have to handle the news alone while he’s already under so much pressure. He knows she was coming to his graduation and I will be the one standing there when he says, where is she? (Please think of me for that moment.)
I will be back as soon as I can.
P.S. My mother, who loved my blog, would have loved this post. Except for the part about Ross’s graduation, which she would have found devastating. And the hip-wiggling. My mother loved every word I ever wrote, and told me so all the time. If your mother can’t give you a big head, no one can. I have had one of the most important things you can have in life–a good mother.
Posted by Suzanne McMinn on July 17, 2010
YvonneM
We love our pepperoni rolls, I made 4 dozen this morning, cut the pepperoni last night to save time.The. house smells so good.
Good to see a post - I'm sure it will be a while before you have time to post again, so Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year...lol! 
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you are in our thoughts, and prayers
Anni in toronto
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Laurel in Kingsport
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You did have one of the most important things in life a person can have, and you are most certainly all the better for it. And your children too. Suzanne, may peace be with you.
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((((((Big hugs))))))
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(my dad first about 15 years ago and my mom 6 years ago). I still feel like an orphan even now and miss them dearly. I too was blessed with good parents…you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
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I am so sorry. I pray that your memories will bring you peace.
Hugs to you and yours,
Anna
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You and your family have become part of my family and I want you to know that we are thinking of you. Drive safely, you are in our prayers.
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My mother has been gone many years but one never forgets….memories serve us all well. I can’t see mayflowers in the spring time without thinking of her and I’m sure everytime you see a colorful bird it’ll bring memories of your mom.
Mrs. Turkey
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You take your time getting back to us. We’ll all be here when you do.
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Your tribute to your mom was wonderful. The last sentence your wrote was the best and could have stood on its own! You mom was right! You are a wonderful writer.
((((Suzanne))))
P.S. Sending safe thoughts your way as you travel home. Drive with care, take your time and know you are loved!
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A lovely tribute to your mother. My heart aches for you and your children. May the thoughts and prayers that are being showered on you give you comfort and peace.
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Wishing you strength when you talk to Ross.
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~Jenny~
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I’m so sorry for your loss, for you, your children and your father. My heart goes out to all of you. My mother died 18 months ago, 2 months after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. There is no other love more precious than a mother’s love. Your mother sounds like a delightful woman and you were so blessed to have been her daughter. I will be thinking of you and remembering you, all of you, in my prayers.
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Love to you & your family!!
Granny Trace
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” How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”.
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Your mama instilled many wonderful qualities in you. I can tell by the way you live your life and let us live your life along side you by way of your blog.
Your mama must of been one great gal.
Bless your heart.
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I didn’t expect to be beginning this day with tears in my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful, very personal tribute to your mother. From what you’ve written, she would have loved it. I know the profound sense of loss that comes at this time. You will be in my thoughts and prayers today.
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I am so sorry to hear that your mother passed away. The loss of a mother is one of the biggest losses you will have in your lifetime. I lost my mother at the age of 12 and have missed her every day for the last 38 1/2 years. Thank God you’ve had yours as long as you have and were able to share the many blessings with her. You and your family will be in my prayers, especially poor Ross when you have to stand before him and explain that his grandmother is no longer with you. I cry as I write this. My mother never knew her grandchildren or great grandchildren. You were surely blessed to have your mother for so many years and were able to share many wonderful things with her. Praying you have a safe trip home.
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I can’t say anything that will take the pain away or that doesn’t sound trite and over used. But please know that you have a league of readers that ache with sympathy for you. I will be thinking of you everyday and I hope that somehow that will allow you to keep going and be able to find comfort and happiness in the little things that life offers us daily.
Take good care of yourself,
Rachel from Maine
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You and your family are in my prayers. And I’m sending up an extra prayer for Ross.
Peace be with you ALL.
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You have my deepest sympathies for your loss. How blessed you were and are to have such a wonderful mother. My heart goes out to you and your family.
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Lots of love coming your way.
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This has caused me to reflect………and cry.
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If the pattern of life looks dark to you
And the threads seem twisted and queer,
To the one who is planning the whole design,
It’s perfectly plain and clear.
For it’s all part of God’s plan,
When He works in His threads of gray,
And they’ll only make brighter the rose and gold
Of another happier day.
Hide this in your heart. I can’t say more.
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Mourning is a difficult time. I was surprised at how it affected me in unexpected ways. Take your time & work your way through it in your own way. Lean on the Lord for strength & comfort. We’ll be praying for y’all.
Donna Mc
GA
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Carol
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Your tribute is beautiful, and you have lovely memories to treasure. Be assured that I too will be thinking of you when the time comes to tell Ross.
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I am so glad, though, that you have introduced her to us! You certainly did have a good mother! I am also blessed with a mother who thinks my brother and I can do no wrong, and as I was the only granddaughter on that side of the family, I enjoyed a special relationship with my grandmother, too.
Many hugs and prayers are headed your way from North Carolina (formerly of Fort Worth!), especially as you attend the graduation. I have a feeling your mom will let her presence be known….
‘Lucy’
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I think you’re right not to tell Ross. When my son was in Afghanistan, the mother of his best friend was murdered by her husband, and I decided not to tell him. He was under enough stress. When he came back he handled it well.
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Thank you for telling us, and thank you for reassuring us about the animal care. Don’t worry about the blog for right now. We will understand if you can’t post any new entries for a while. Take care of yourself and your children.
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I only ever had one grandmother and 17 years later, the tears are still rolling as I think of her. How much worse must the loss of a mother be.But how wonderful that you had such a close and loving and respectful relationship.
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I am so sorry. Words can not express what a hug can. I wish I could give you a hug. We’ll pray for you, and all your kids during Ross’s graduation.
Lisa
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I lost my mom a few years back, and like you, I was the baby, with a big gap between first & last born, so we had that special relationship too. I hope Morgan is doing OK. I’m sure this has been very hard on her, being there when the problem started.
Hugs & prayers to you all.
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Sending my condolences along with so many others. You and your family are in my prayers…and a special prayer for that difficult time ahead with Ross.
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I pray for your comfort, huggs!!
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I didn’t write this, I don’t know who did. But it makes me think of you during this time:
God, make me brave for life:
oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain,
as a tree straightens after the rain,
Shining and lovely again.
God, make me brave for life;
much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts, let me rise
From sorrow with quiet eyes,
Knowing Thy way is wise.
God, make me brave, life brings
Such blinding things.
Help me to keep my sight;
Help me to see aright
That out of dark comes light.
Praying comfort and healing for you and your family. I lost my mom when I was 24 and she was only 57. No one can ever take the place of our mothers.
((((((hug))))))
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Chris Lusher
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Your mother had been a good mother to you all her life. Here I extend my symphaty and I know you will always keep her good memory in your mind.
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You have such good and clear memories to hold on to and pass on, however, that she has left you with a legacy of love and fun and individuality to share with Morgan and your boys and the families they will have someday.
I am also a daughter of my mother’s later life- of course we were the favorites! My mom passed on 8 years ago, but I still feel her presence in my life daily.
I’ll be praying for you.
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My prayers will be with you, especially when you must break the news to Ross.
Your mom would love this wonderful tribute…hip wiggling and all.
Sending you big hugs, Sweetie. Take care of yourself.
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Susan
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My heart is sad with you.Your blog post made me feel I knew here essence!
Blessings and Hugs–
MADELINE in Arizona
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You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
{{{{huggs}}}}
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It is a hard fact of life, no matter how wonderful life truly is, that we sometimes lose the ones that are most important to us. Thank God there is a Heaven where they live in peace and joy while they wait on us to get there.
My thoughts, my prayers and my heart goes out to you, your children, 52, and others who loved her. We all miss you but you are needed elsewhere right now. We will be here when you get back.
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I pray for you to have the strength you will need in the days ahead.
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huggs.
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I pray that the love and closeness of people whom you hold dear, and your wonderful memories, will help you through this difficult time.
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~~HUGS~~
from Michigan
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with love and sympathy,
Jeanette in Georgia
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Hugs, Chris
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My heart goes out to you and your family, this is a very hard time, many prayers for all of you. What a wonderful tribute you wrote about your Mom, I am sure she is smiling down on you.
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With tear in my eyes and heartfelt sympathy I express to you my sorrow on your Mother’s passing. You are very lucky to have had such a wonderful influence in your lives. The love shared by allof you shine thru in your writing.
My Grandmother passed away Memorial Day week and my son, who is in Afghanistan, had to grieve the loss of his beloved GG from so far away. Not being able to hug my son during his grief was very hard and I will keep you in my thoughts when you go to TX for your son’s graduation…it will be tough..
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So sorry to read of the loss of your mother. Your tribute is so beautiful. Prayers for you and your family.
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and prayers go to you and your family.
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You wrote a wonderful tribute!
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I was sorry to read of your mother’s passing but I love what you wrote about her. What a beautiful vibrant person and I bet there is a party going on in heaven!
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Our hearts are feeling your pain. Sending hugs and prayers to you through the miles.
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I am so sad for you, and so happy for you at the same time.
I am so happy that you had a GOOD Mother; a Mother who held you and comforted you and loved you for everything-good-in-you. A Mother who was a great example of how to be an excellent Mother and a *good* person in general. A Mother who never discouraged you.
I wish you peace and comfort in these dark days. Know that there was SO much good, and her Goodness continues… through YOU!
I will be thinking about you and “holding you up” when you are at Ross’ graduation. Be strong. Think of Her.
My heart goes out to you!
=-)
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Your tribute to your Mother was very beautiful and full of love.
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Hold on to that legacy and take care.
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Hugs
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Perhaps, I should explain to those not from Oklahoma (where I grew up) or Texas (where I live)…. Bringing food is how we show love and sympathy when someone dies.
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Sandra
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for I am not there,
I’ve a date with a
butterfly to dance in the air.
I’ll be singing in the
sunshine, wild and free
playing tag with the wind
while I am waiting for thee.
I do not know the author of this poem as I found it on the following web site: http://www.nextgenmemorials.com/memorialverses.html
But it made me think of how you said your mama liked to “shake her thing” Whenever you see a colorful butterfly flitting through the air like it is dancing to some unheard music……remember and smile.
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Georgie asked for prayer for you and your kids in church this morning. I had no idea about your mother, but my family and many in Walton are in our prayers. We hope you all have a safe trip home!
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Take some time for yourself. Blessings be upon you.
Kit.
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I sent you an email. Hope you see it before you get home.
I wasn’t sure if you’d see your comments before you got home and I wanted to give you some info before you left Texas. I sent it to the author/contact aol one.
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It sounds like she was very proud of you and rightly so.
I am so sorry for your family’s loss.
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My condolences. Good luck at Ross’s graduation.
Thinking of you.
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I am also a Navy Mom. My son’s PIR (graduation from boot camp) was in 2006. Your son’s graduation without your mom there will certainly be a bittersweet moment. Just an FYI though – the graduation is in a giant hall. It will be VERY crowded and VERY noisy. After the ceremony, a large bell is rung and a LOUD “LIBERTY CALL, LIBERTY CALL” announcement is made, and the guests are permitted to leave the bleachers for the first contact with their sailors on the floor. I am telling you this because it might not be the private moment of notification you are expecting, and may be very difficult on your son, with his buddies jumping for joy around him.
Please know that the Red Cross handles notifications for military families. I have personal experience with this, and they were extremely helpful and sensitive to the situation. They will take care of contacting Great Lakes RTC. Just call your local Red Cross, and they will take care of the rest. You won’t have to explain anything or justify your request. They can ensure that your son is notified privately, after he completes training but before the ceremony, or perhaps arrange a phone call with you.
Best of luck to you, your son, and your family.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss, and am sending you and your family my thoughts and prayers.
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God Bless you all,
Patty in Greeneville, TN
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Safe travels
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Kathy
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Debby from Ohio
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I love what you wrote about her. You are right about how she would have loved it. Your respect and love and admiration for your mother glowed with every word. Exceptional women. Both of you.
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Beth aka onoeoldgoat
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I am so sorry for your loss. Your mother sounded like a wonderful person!
Take care,
Pattyb
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My heart hurts for you. May you take comfort in your many happy memories and the knowledge that the most important part of your mother remains alive in you and the rest of your family – a living tribute to her many wonderful qualities.
Sincerely
morningstar
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Sue, a Florida Farm Girl
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Just remember we are thinking of you and praying when you have to tell Ross about this heart-rending loss.
Congrats to Weston for his new vehicle! That will be a LONG drive back, indeed. be sure to pack some crochet materials to help pass the time.
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My prayers are with you!
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I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are a very special person because she raised you with the same love you have for your own family.
Sincerely,
Janie from Idaho
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I am so sorry to read about your loss. This was such a beautiful post, but so bittersweet. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers in the upcoming days and weeks…..
~Debbie
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Don’t stress yourself over this blog, if it gets to be too much for you. Take some time off, if you need it. We’ll all be here when you feel like getting back to it. On the other hand, it could be therapy for you. Whatever it takes to get you through this time, we’ll support you. We love you and will be praying for you.
With Sympathy,
Debbie
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Your Mom WOULD have loved your post about her and I think, even if it was secretly, she would like the hip-wiggling part.
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She was a very, very special person and I think an angel sent went I needed her on those summer evenings a few years ago.
I wrote a lovely post on the day you put this up and then a satellite glitch caused me to lose it and I couldn’t remember everything I wrote to write it down again. But, know this, my previous post was a tribute to her and a prayer for you and the kids. You know I luv ya!
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And if you need a shoulder after you tell Ross…Just grab me at graduation.
Melissa (N4M)
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(((HUGS)))
Rys
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Even though I have my brother and my Uncle and his wife helping out as my Mom’s days are coming to a close in her home, (she’s going home today with the help of a hospice), I still feel blessed that I came across your post about your Mom. My Mom loved every word I wrote, too. No, I haven’t published anything, not even thinking about it. But, like your Mom, she just loved my writing, and she often wondered if I shouldn’t try to take it up professionally.
It sure gives me the warm fuzzies all over to remember all the things my Mom said about my writing. How descriptive I was, how I made things alive through my writing. And I’m just so happy to see you, too, have the shared the same experience with your Mom about your writing.
I hope all is going well, and thank-you for sharing. I am taking courage from your blog right now, and seeing how you have moved on, and I know I will be okay. Sad, but okay. I, too, see how my Mom’s life is a celebration, all that our Mom’s accomplished.
I see my mother living in my children and my toddler grandson. What a blessing children are at this moment in time – to feel the love, and to know you carry a bit of your Mom forward in your children surrounding you. It is like having a bit of your Mom with you….always. In our children we carry forward our mothers.
HUGS! And prayers your way.
Evelina
6:46
pm
2:12
am