She Needs Our Help


The bun is in the oven!!! Britney is four months preggers! Okay, I think we should help her out after what happened with Gwyneth Paltrow and Courtney Cox. I mean, Apple and Coco? I think the food thing is passe. Not that they should move on to the completely nonsensical like Jamie and Jools Oliver who named their kids Daisy Boo and Poppy Honey. Or Bob Geldoff with Fifi Trixibelle and David Bowie with Zowie.

I’m going to suggest a new trend. Furniture.

If it’s a girl, I’m going for Credenza. If it’s a boy, Futon.

But more importantly, will there be stretch marks and WILL WE GET TO SEE THEM?


  1. Katie says:

    I’m more into town names personally – Trilla for a girl and Illiopolous for a boy. I knew a girl named Angellove Babylove.

    I think if you’re rich enough you can pay someone else to have your stretch marks….

  2. mary beth says:

    The names I’ve seen and heard about. We have Prince, Lady, Princess, Sir and King in school now. Yes, they’re related. I’ve heard stories about female (pronounced fuh-mah-lee)and orangejello (or-on-juhl-o) and lemonjello (lu-mon-juhl-o. Nothing would surprise me.

  3. Jill says:

    The thought of Britney pregnant is terrifying, LOL. And I’m quite certain she’ll be happy to show us her stretch-free skin when she’s done.

  4. Margery says:

    Britney pregnant? That’s just scary! If you’re into furniture names, how about highboy?

  5. jax says:

    Credenza – it has a romantic, Italian flair Or perhaps setee.

    Great work, Suz.


  6. Danica says:

    Wow, I’m not sure I could do any better than credenza!

    Although frankly, her announcement is a little bit anticlimactic after her denials a week ago. I mean, come on, I totally respect not wanting to tell unless you’re sure you’re not going to miscarry… but you know, why not make a statement like “no comment” instead of lying? But that’s just me.

    Speaking of weird names, my maiden name is Favorite-my mom has always jokes that she wanted to call us Ima, Itsa, and Eura. And for a while, I wanted to change my middle name to “the”.

    As for this kid’s name… why not go with food? We’ll let it keep Brit’s last name, and we can call it Broccoli for a girl, and Aspargus for a boy. Now THAT would be cool! Broccoli Spears or Asparagus Spears, anyone?

  7. Margee says:

    Being a Texan, you’ll appreciate my remarks to a friend that named her boys Austin and Bryan. I asked if the next one would be Nacogdoches or Tomball. ๐Ÿ˜†

  8. Anna Lucia says:

    *groan* at Broccoli Spears…. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    How about Foostool. Or even better, Pouffe?

    We could go for a military motif. Poison-tipped, Phalanx or Bronze Spears?

    *shaking head* Are you kidding? She’ll probably have her whole abdomen replaced after her ‘too posh to push’ c-section.

  9. Jill says:

    Hey! I just saw Cole at the grocery store! That’s a big deal here, they only carry two or three of the IMs usually, so I was so excited for you!

  10. Cece says:

    LMFAO@Broccoli Spears
    How about Divan? Has a nice ring to it.

  11. Michelle says:

    Oh, boy. She’ll definitely name the kid something weird.

    Although for me, nothing tops the name a girl had at my dh’s high school. First name Happy. Last name: Hussy. We have the yearbook to prove it.

    What were her parents thinking??? ๐Ÿ™„

  12. Cynthia says:

    Nothing surprises me after hearing on the radio that some woman sold the rights to naming her unborn children (triplets) on Ebay for $12,000. It appears one of the triplets will be named “GoldenPalace.Com”. The things people do to their children. ๐Ÿ™„

  13. kate says:

    Credenza is definitely a female name but Armoire is nice for a boy OR a girl. I like cece’s Divan, another sexless name. Pouffe? Girl, of course. I think Buffet and drawer are probably only for boys.

    Hey, this is fun. . . better than working, for sure.

  14. kate, again says:

    “Mirror.” Hmmm. boy, I think. “Night Stand” is definitely good if you want that spooky image for the kids. I could see him being a Ranger sort later in life.

  15. Mary says:

    All those fancy names: how about Chair. And Air could be the nickname.

  16. kacey says:

    Or you could destine them for always being stepped on in life…and call them Footstool.

    Solid Oak Desk Spears
    Sleigh Bed Spears
    Mahogany Sidebar Spears

    Damn, I STILL like Credenza…

  17. TheMan says:

    How about Chest(y) Spears :twisted:– then people could say “she so takes after her mother”, or if we go with a food theme how about Pickle Spear(s)?:twisted:

  18. Vicki says:


    She could have:

    Chaise Lounge

    But only if they’re all girls, I think. ๐Ÿ˜†

  19. Julie says:

    I think I’m going to name my child (boy or girl) Bidet.