They’re good! No, they’re bad! I mean it!


So last night, my lovely 14-year-old son says, just to be nice, you know, out of the blue, “I’m afraid to ever read your books.”

I say, “WHY????”

He says, “I might find out they’re bad.”

Me: “They’re not bad!! They’re good!” Me, fishing desperately for proof: “My October book is up for an award! The National Readers Choice!”

Son: “I haven’t seen anything about that on TV.” Eye roll.

TV!!! Me: “But but but!” Thinking desperately, suddenly NEEDING to convince this child who once pooped all the way across the wall behind his crib WITHOUT LEAVING HIS CRIB that my books are fabulous AND BETTER THAN POOP. “My books are published all over the world! By a major publisher! They are GOOD!!!”

Husband, trying to be helpful: “When you start dating, you’ll want to give them to your girlfriends! They’ll be impressed!”

Me, having flashbacks to the love scenes in Deep Blue: “No!!! NO! No giving them to the girlfriends! They’re bad. REALLY BAD!!!!”



  1. Biddy says:

    I feel like that when my mother asks to read some of my short stories. These are the ones I submitted to Black Lace. And I am a single good Catholic girl… honest:evil:

  2. Beth C says:

    πŸ˜† So how does your son feel about you sharing that POOP story? :lol::lol: Thank you for the smile, Suzanne. Much needed.

  3. Kelly says:

    I’m holding on to some embarrassing stories from my kids’ childhood too!:yes: Just in case I need them for back-up. πŸ˜†

  4. Jill says:

    Oh boy, LOL. Whatever you do, keep telling your books are BAD! :wigglebrow:

  5. Carol says:

    :lol::lol: Does your son read your blog? I’m sure he isn’t going to be too happy if his friends read about what he did! 😳

  6. Suzanne says:

    He’s not allowed to be embarrassed about anything he did when he was a baby if it involved bodily functions that I had to clean up. :yuck:

  7. Crystal* says:

    Suzanne. You can’t win, woman. It just isn’t happening.
    Hope the gf’s don’t get any ideas…

  8. mary beth says:

    LOL! Just keep writing those bad books Suzanne.

  9. Mary says:

    Kids are so funny. Someday he’ll appreciate you.

  10. Cynthia says:

    LOL, Suzanne! Thanks for the morning laugh!

  11. Danica says:

    LOL Suzanne!! It’s definitely important to hold all those bodily functions against them (says the mommy who had to pull her child out of the toilet yesterday). IMO, anything disgusting you have to do for your kids… they will pay for it later. πŸ™‚

  12. Trace says:

    Suzanne, just tell him you don’t want him reading your books because he just ‘wouldn’t understand’. That’ll get him really intrigued. Kids always want to do the opposite of what their parents tell them.

  13. Trace says:

    Suzanne, I looked at Walmart, Kmart and Target for your book because those are my three favorite stores (I know, but I love a bargain) and The Beast Within isn’t there yet. But I WILL buy it when I see it.

  14. Jordan says:

    Suzanne, I think you were in a no win situation there. LOL!

  15. Tori says:

    :rotfl: I do love your family stories, Suzanne! And I love your books even more because they ARE good!!! Except where girlfriends are concerned. πŸ˜†

  16. Melissa Marsh says:

    Oh Suzanne, that was priceless! LMAO!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

  17. Suzanne says:

    Thanks for looking, Trace! I don’t think it’s supposed to be out till the very end of June.

  18. Suzanne says:

    Thank you, Vicki!! :heart:

  19. Michelle says:

    I am so glad I don’t have teenagers!!! :hyper:

  20. Mary Stella says:

    My 17 year old nephew hasn’t read All Keyed Up yet, but told me he plans to while staying with me next month. I think I’d prefer he read it while in another state.

    He has suggested a title for a future book: Key Lime Pie and Love at Midnight.

    I may do a short story with that title, just for him.

  21. ruby55 says:

    Suzanne, I just love your sense of humor. This is really what I, and probably all of us, badly need: a laugh a day.

    And what did I say about girls (and babies) a couple of weeks ago?! LOL

    Sorry, I can’t do the smilies. I have to put my pages on “pictures” and that clogs up my computer so that at some time or other it just freezes.

  22. Rene says:

    My 9 year old son always wants to read my writing. He’s not ready for that education. I let my daughters use the misprinted pages of my mss for scratch paper. Then I realized she was taking them to school to show off her pictures. I could imagine my reputation if anyone read the back.

  23. Teresa H says:

    Thanks Suzanne! I know I can always get a smile here! :thumbsup:

  24. Lynn says:

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I love this! :rotfl: