Coco the Giant Puppy rallied supporters in a final stump speech on the steps of what reporters are already dubbing the Hillbilly White House at her West Virginia farm late Monday. Fans were treated with a rare glimpse into the pup’s private life as well as the long-awaited, last-minute announcement of her vice presidential pick.
Coco: “My fellow Americans, we find ourselves at a pivotal moment in our nation’s history. Now is our time to make our paw print, to toss a new bone into the American story, to leave our pups a country that is freer and kinder, a country with more Snausages and fewer leash laws. This is our time to let our fur fly as we bound forward toward a new hope! I and my running mate, Dookie-the-farm-shih-tsu, will dream with you, not against you, and we will even share our blanket.”
The Great Pyrenees pup has long touted napping as the cornerstone of her energy policy.
Opponents have criticized the Giant Pup’s energy stance as immature and a sure sign of her lack of readiness for the presidential role. Facing media scrutiny, Coco defied her handlers and answered questions openly at the farmstead Monday evening.
“I am far more prepared than any of my opponents,” the Giant Pup stated. “I’m always well-rested. Nobody makes good decisions when they’re tired.”
But can the Giant Pup, at six months of age, possibly have the sober judgment required of such an important job?
Coco: “I have never had alcohol in my life. I am perfectly sober.”
A number in the media questioned the VP pick as a ploy to put some age on the ticket. Is the farm shih tsu any more able, should events prove necessary, to take on the presidency in Coco’s place? Dookie did, after all, recently celebrate his 12th birthday, and his frequent shabby grooming could indicate more than hygiene troubles.
“I’m ready, willing, and eager to take the Giant Pup’s place in the Oval Office,” Dookie answered reporters. “I feel fine other than some slight skin irritation and creaky bones. I get up by noon every day.”
Did he mean ready, willing, and eager or ready, willing, and able? The possible slip brought up the question of conflict on the ticket. Who is the real top dog on the team? Is the Giant Pup a mere figurehead, the “rock star” personality paving the not-so-stylish shih tsu’s way to power?
Coco: “We are two mavericks, and sometimes we both get a little mavericky and we have our differences.”
“We talk it out.”
“And sometimes we argue.”
“But I am always the top dog.”
“Because he only comes up to my belly. Sometimes, he walks under it.”
Does Coco intend to use her belly to handle the rest of the world? What is the campaign’s foreign policy? What about the economy, the environment, social security, tax reform? Why hasn’t the Giant Pup filled out her platform, addressing these other issues?
Coco was quick with her response. “Energy,” the Great Pyr declared, “is the key issue amongst all others, including foreign policy, the economy, the environment, social security, and tax reform. Without energy independence, we can do nothing. The future of our planet hinges on the choices we make. I choose to take a nap.”
“And,” she added, “I urge you to do the same.”
“Right after you VOTE GIANT PUP!”
wkf says:
That was a hoot!! Getting up early to vote today.
Needed a giggle!
:flying:
On November 4, 2008 at 6:07 am
kacey says:
LOL, I’d vote for Coca! I like her platform!
On November 4, 2008 at 7:11 am
Lena says:
Your doggers are a riot. They look like they enjoy life immensely. I’d vote for them in a heartbeat.
On November 4, 2008 at 7:29 am
Heidi says:
They are probably better than either of the candidates we have to vote for today!!!! LOL
On November 4, 2008 at 7:57 am
Amber says:
:fryingpan: :thumbsup: I would vote for coco for pres! lot better than the options we have! lol Go coco & dookie!
On November 4, 2008 at 7:58 am
Suzette says:
Coco gets MY vote!
I’m getting ready to go in early. My office is a polling place! So, I’m making coffee to sell to those standing in line. Free Commerce! It’s the American Way!
On November 4, 2008 at 7:59 am
anne says:
Hurray for Coco !!
She gets my vote !!
Anne
On November 4, 2008 at 8:19 am
The Jillybean says:
Go Coco!! Hope you win!!
On November 4, 2008 at 8:35 am
Stephanie says:
LOL… I’d vote Coco in a heartbeat…. Until then, I’ll vote for……………………………….
On November 4, 2008 at 8:40 am
beth says:
Darn it! I wish I’d read this before voting this morning! I’d have put her down as a write in!!! 😉
BTW, another benefit to living out in the country, no line at the voting booths this morning! We vote at the fairgrounds and there were two lines…one for those living in the developments and those living “out” of them. I had NO wait. Felt a tad guilty for those waiting in the other line. 🙂
On November 4, 2008 at 8:42 am
Diane says:
A vote for the GIANT PUPPIE :woof: I would say Coco is a much better choice than what we have. I might have to write her in today. lol.
I live out in the country also. No lines. Its nice. Going after work today to cast my vote. :purr:
On November 4, 2008 at 8:58 am
Stacia says:
I’d vote for anyone who had naps as a priority! And she’s cute!
On November 4, 2008 at 9:00 am
Shari C says:
Love your post today…BIG smile on my face.
I vill definitely VOTE GIANT PUP! Go Coco…after your nap that is.
On November 4, 2008 at 9:07 am
Becky says:
I’m voting Coco and Dookie!!!
Suzanne, that was a brilliant campaign for the critters!
On November 4, 2008 at 9:14 am
IowaCowgirl says:
I love the energy policy; a sure winner!!!
On November 4, 2008 at 9:15 am
MARY says:
:treehugger: Go, Coco!!! I’d vote for you!! I’ll be lucky to make it to the polls after work and basketball sign-ups! The lines here in Maryland were an hour long at 6:00 a.m. Wish me luck! :butterfly:
On November 4, 2008 at 9:17 am
Nancy in Atlanta says:
I’ll vote for the Giant Puppy’s team AND your cousin!! :catmeow:
On November 4, 2008 at 9:39 am
Treasia/TruckersWife says:
That was the best presidential address of all of them thus far. You got my vote Coco. Thankfully I have not been yet today and I can so write you in. :rotfl:
On November 4, 2008 at 10:27 am
Paulette says:
That is too funny.
On November 4, 2008 at 10:54 am
Paulette says:
That is too funny 🙂
On November 4, 2008 at 10:55 am
Claudia W. says:
My vote is for Coco and Dookie the farm Shih Tzu!
On November 4, 2008 at 10:56 am
Teri says:
Wish I hadn’t already voted — Coco would definitely get my vote!
On November 4, 2008 at 11:03 am
Jill S. says:
LOL! Oh my goodness, Coco is so CUTE! (sorry, Dookie, you are cute too!)
On November 4, 2008 at 11:24 am
Maureen says:
If Coco had been on the ballot this morning I would have voted for her.
On November 4, 2008 at 11:39 am
Matthew Burns says:
Nope, I’m casting my ballot for the 3rd party candidate, Clover, who is running as the Capra party candidate. Clover will lead this nation in the right direction. Plus, I like her campaign slogan, “Don’t let this country go to the dogs”.
Funny stuff.
On November 4, 2008 at 11:53 am
Carolyn A. says:
Coco’s platform of conserving energy has my vote. Think I might have to take a nap real soon. I also approve of her choice for VP, very well thought out. Thanks for giving us something to look forward to. xxoo
On November 4, 2008 at 12:13 pm
MissyinWV says:
:clap: This was the best article I have read all campaign season and the ONLY one that made me smile!
On November 4, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Doris Rose MacBean says:
Just in the nick of time…I switched my vote to Coco. I believe in naps. and anyone who doesn’t vote for the giant Puppy is a fascist!
On November 4, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Beth Brown says:
They have MY vote! We have one polling location in our little country area and I swear, everyone was there at 7 am! Wonderful to see – of course, I don’t know how many were voting for Coco and Dookie . . .
Beth in PA :rotfl:
On November 4, 2008 at 12:39 pm
TeresaH says:
Yeah! I vote Giant Pup! :woof:
On November 4, 2008 at 1:32 pm
FringeGirl says:
Your giant pup has my vote!
On November 4, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Tori Lennox says:
I was going to vote for Mickey Mouse (then America would become the Happiest Place on Earth), but I have to admit I’m quite taken with Coco’s energy policy…
On November 4, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Brandy says:
Aww, I think Coco makes a wonderful candidate!
On November 4, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Amy says:
Huh, I didn’t see Coco on my ballot. I’ll have to call my state elections office….
On November 4, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Susan says:
Coco and Dookie get my vote! :snoopy:
On November 4, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Estella says:
I’d rather vote for Coco than either of the other two.
On November 4, 2008 at 5:09 pm
jean says:
Coco I salute you. You are the top dog in all ways. (and your human companion is pretty good too)
On November 4, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Melissa Marsh says:
Suzanne, I needed this today after getting all riled up about this election! It was BRILLIANT. 😆
On November 4, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Jodie says:
:woof: :woof:
I think Coco & Dookie are way more mavericky than (comment deleted, self-censored). ACTUALLY run for your life COCO & DOOKIE, you don’t want a higher office!!! Being the guard dog at the farm is a great job and has benefits like cookies and playing with goats & chickens.
This is one of the few Presidential election years in the last 16 years that I haven’t taken a vacation day to work (harder than I ever do at the office) as a poll worker or election judge. 12+ hour days are crazy, because in Texas you have to be there all day before 7am and after 7pm, no leaving & coming back.
On November 4, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Kim W says:
Oh IF ONLY 62,533,330 other people would have seen THIS yesterday and then voted GIANT PUPPY instead!! :wall:
Blessings from Ohio…
On November 5, 2008 at 10:25 am
catslady says:
LOL I never got online yesterday so I guess Coco didn’t make it but I hear there are still some openings in the cabinet. Secretary of Energy would be a good position.
On November 5, 2008 at 4:45 pm